ZOMBIE attack!!!

zombies are attacking!

how would you kill the type of zombie described by the posted above?

what kind of zombie is going to attack the poster below??


here comes the first zombie!!

slow walking slightly limping old lady zombie

 

I'd get out my katana! and slice it's fucking head off. I'm wearing tight clothing and my hair is cut short (to avoid zombie grabbage)... I lurk off , jump on a motorcycle i've acquired and keep mobile with only afew close friends I can depend on.

But then..all of a sudden a new zombie comes out!!! It's running fast!!! (it must be a post mortem athlete)

 

I know I can't try to out run it so I bust out my nun chucks and sling them around it's legs to trip it up and then I grab a blade from the back pocket walk up to it and say "No more meals for you" than slice it's head off from the neck, and proceed to kick the head out of my way like a soccer ball.

All of a sudden a zombie comes jumping out of a two story window a gangly looking tall zombie...

 

I popped him twice in the head and once in the knee with my 9mm, then jumped on the back of wild-flowers bike just as she riding off and another zombie jumped out of the shadows..

 

I smoked that zombie out with some sour diesel and while he was stoned I chopped his head off with a meat cleaver. As I was vacating the scene of the zombie be-heading I noticed a zombie with dreads and a tye-dye shirt strolling down the street...

 

I pop outmy chaingun and shoot its balls, He's screaming louder so i shoot him witha stun round, quickly i run up a put a grenade in his mouth pulll the pin and run.
out of nowhere a zombie 6 foot tall approaches with a machette...

 

i whip the zombie with a bike chain/lock combo. then scream like a sissy!

a small child zombie climbs out of a laundry basket....

 

From my vantage point on the rooftop I steady my 30.06 rifle and make a clean head shot kill. As I am chambering another round I sense a presence behind me. Whirling around I am greeted by a one armed zombie who chants the obligatory zombie battle cry BRAINS! BRAINS! I try to level my rifle and take a shot, but too no avail as he knocks the weapon from my hand. Quickly I grab his remaining arm and flip him over me and down to the street below. Looking down I see the vile creature slowly gain his footing once again, and begin to shuffle towards the next victim, all the while muttering BRAINS! BRAINS!....

 

I then grab the child zombie's body and throw it at the one armed zombie giving me enough to grab a shovel and start beating it over it's head while it continues to mutter "Brains! Brains!" in a lower and lower tone until it's dead dead.

All of a sudden I hear Grateful Dead music playing from this zombie that seems to be stumbling towards me obviously high off human pineal gland.

 

Seeing that GB is in danger I grab my rifle, but it is hopelessly jammed. I quickly manuever my way down the side of the building via the drain pipes. The undead deadhead is getting closer to GB who appears to be in shock. I look down the alley and spy what is left of some unknown crack dealer and his boom box. I grab the boom box and run to place myself between GB and the approaching zombhippie. I yell at GB to cover his ears as I turn the volume up full blast and aim the barrage of gangsta-rap at the zombie. It stops in it's tracks as the horrendous rap assualts it's hippy ears. It begins to convulse and twitch until finally it's head explodes in a gruesome spray of brain matter. Turning off the boom box I turn to look at GB just as a decaying hand reaches out of the darkness and grabs him by the shoulder.....

 

I look over at PB and say 'hey, turn that back on!' and notice that his eyes are wide and he is trying to yell. so I look to GB and in a fury pull out my piece and accidentally shoot GB in the shoulder! (sorry bro!)

just then the slide of my gun locks back so I throw it to the ground, grab my knife, and charge the zombie.. stabbing him 37 times in the face. GB kicks me in the knee for shooting him, and I collapse, screaming out in pain and yelling 'I'm covered in zombie blood!!'

just at that moment, three zombies drop down off the building and trap us in the alley..

 

I would use a shotgun to shoot off sum ugly ass Justin Bieber lookin zombie's head, only to find out it was Sarah Palin in disguise the entire time....AHHHHHHHH!!! Shoot her please!!!Somebody shoot her, I wasted all my ammo on Justin Bieber!!!!

 

I come out of the shadows and chop off the Sara Palin zombies head with my trusty chainsaw. Meanwhile a zombified George Bush crashes throw a nearby window screaming TRAINS, TRAINS

 

I quickly sneak up behind Bush and snap his neck with one twist...

 

A calm falls around the street as we survey the carnage. We glance at one another in disbelief, "Could it be that easy? Did we overcome the evil?". Then a smile begins to grow on our faces, and quickly turns to jovial laughing and high-fives as we congradulate each other on a job well done.
Through our revery we begin to hear something in the distance. GB is the first to hear it, then yellowcab, who says in an urgent tone "Shush! Quiet!" "I think I hear something coming." We all stop our celebrations and fall silent. Sure enough down the main boulevard we hear the distinct sound of hardened leather boots on ashphalt, marching with a shuffling cadence. About 3 blocks down we see them round the corner, turning on their heels with all the precision their decaying limbs can muster. Boogabah screams and faints, deviate drops the trash can lid he was drumming, Mayqueen turns and runs without a word, yellowcab silently mutters "Oh Shit!". Gb starts to scurry back and forth in the street as if looking in futility for some weapon, and PB stands trembling as a pool of urine collects around his shoes. Our worst nightmares have been realized. Marching towards our little band with all the determination of a tidalwave is the host of undead from castle Bushenstien led by none other than the vilest creature ever to walk the bowels of Hell..............







It's...................................




It's...................................




















THE CHENEY!!!!!!!!


....

 

I appear out of thin air and hurl a chain linking the handles of countless swords, whose handles explode, destroying all of the zombies.

 

I cut off the zombie's head with an axe, but notice that the zombie's body is still moving. It cannot see or hear, so I lead it over to where a tree trimming crew is working, and I shove the zombie into the wood grinder.

While looking for the detached head, I encounter a political zombie that is endlessly repeating over-used, stale political rhetoric.

 

I'm not allowed to kill the current president so I will do nothing.

your mum turns up, as a zombie, and goes for you...

 

Startled at the zombified form of dear old mum, I hesitate for a minute. I get hold of myself and look around for something, anything that could serve as a weapon. I notice a flattened metal trash can lid a few yards away and do a duck and roll to retrieve it. Springing back up to my feet I hurl the lid like an oversized frisbee at mum and manage a glancing blow that partially severs her neck. Seeing that the job is incomplete I rush up to her and wrench her head off ripping the flesh and sinew that was attached.
Looking down at the now completely lifeless head in my hands, I say "I'm sorry mum" as a silent tear of blood trickles down my cheek.

Looking up I see that due to his political convictions, the imaginary being is having his throat ripped out by the droning political zombie. There is nothing that can save him now and soon he too will become a zombie. I retrieve the trash can lid and run up and with a firm swing remove the political zombie's head. The Imaginary Being attempts to speak, but just makes a gurgling sound as blood is gushing out of the gaping wound in his neck.
I quietly say "I'm sorry friend" and kick him to the ground, and with my boot on his chest I hack his head off with my makeshift trashcan lid blade.

Exhausted I stagger back and lean against a flickering streetlight. Looking around I see that all my comrades have either fled or have succumbed to a zombie attack.
I Try and gather my wits and start to slowly shuffle in the direction of the outskirts of town thinking there may be a safe haven in the country. As I round the corner I am suddenly confronted by a trio of Mexican mafia gangbanger zombies.
As they surround me I scream out." HELP!! SOMEBODY! ANYBODY! HEEELLLLPPP!!!!"...........

 

talk about democracy.