The contempt, the nausea, the disgust of the mundane, the ordinary, the average PART1

Okay, well I re-edited it, took out a lot of the indignant tone, and here it is. Sorry for posting the same poem twice, but I shorted it, so maybe people will read it this time. Thanks. Oh yea, I have to post it in two parts, since its 45000 characters in length.

And please allow me a few words on society

plastic people, television porn, false dreams

and everyone is asleep in their dream

and nothing is really ever spoken in secular art

than the robotic ravings of a disturbed mind

and thus said, please forgive me for speaking



and take a long look at yourself, please

do you really even know yourself?

and yes, I guess I’m willing to risk it all

just for a shot, a tiny taste of it

but what is it?



And it shows how sick this world really is

When all you want to do is to be real

And yet you are forced by fear to lie?

And it’s the contempt of the lie you must overcome

And you gotta learn the gentle art of lying



and sometimes I feel as if I am surrounded by blank faces

of the mundane, the ordinary, the average, the mad

and thank you god, that I'm not sad, like them

and no one thinks but in a dream, haha



and no one really speaks anymore, to anyone

and no one really feels anymore, except in obsession

obsession that dares to call itself ‘love’

and a momentary rush of feelings

and baby, you think you know it all

and when it all comes rushing back to you

don't say that I didn't ever warn you



and curse my goddamned pretension

and there is nothing I despise more

than my own mask, that I am forced to wear

by a world that just doesn't give a shit or care



But oh baby, I don't think you could endure

one frank stabbing word of truth, no I don't

And you wonder if I am talking to you

and yes I am, what else can I do?



I thought I was trapped in my proudly proclaimed fate

but no, maybe that great 'freedom' can wait

that pathetic freedom that the ego wishes for

like an immature little child wanting to break free of its master

And these aren't really my words at all

but the whispering of a silent unsatisfiable muse



And yet still, in your great curiosity

you still seek to know me, and I to you

and do not deny me your state of grace, Lord

and I'll do anything, anything at all

and what did that mean, I don’t know

it’s the words of a depraved mentality



and please lord, burn all of my papered words

and either love me please, or deny it all

I’m ready for your saving grace, Lord

And I’m tired of thinking and saying

“your own thoughtless stupidity

leaves you in your own personal deserved Hell”



And why won't you look at me?

is this not what you wanted to see?

so take a look at one of your great outcasts

I thrive in the strength of your subtle sickness

You mundane, you ordinary, you average man



and what's that, you don't like the metallic harshness of sin

Well then baby, maybe you shouldn't have been swallowing bullets then



and yes, little innocent child

this world is quite an evil and sickening place

and has your innocence not yet broken?

and so hurry up and die, child

no one really wants you here

no one really wants you here

and you should plant yourself firmly in the ground

and it’s only because, little child

you refuse to look at the colors of the world

It’s all about me, me, me, to you

And your selfishness causes me to miss the beauty



and what good have you brought to the world?

Another greedy little mouth to feed

another pathetic petty virus to spread

spread your disease and get it over quick, please

I’m growing very tired of you being in charge, ego



and sometimes I really do not like my face

for wearing it the way I do

and sometimes I used to worry

what would I be without my face?



But if you start to doubt yourself,

you'll begin to become filled with fright, scare, fear

and we both know the paranoia

of where that road leads

and it’s simply the natural outgrowth of human consciousness

and it’s the dirty scientists that are trying to control

and the main stated goal of psychology

is to control, to control, to learn to control the mind

and I don’t think psychologists have your best interests in mind



but if you look at it from above, detached

do you really like those clouds you dwell on?

But what am I supposed to do, I asked?

and what were those little words

of such gentle ferocious truth

Oh yes, you wanted freedom

Well, in nature, only the strong survive

And are we humans not indeed animals at heart?



And why can't you simply rest, and be content

at the sight of your gentle beauty

and what more do you want from me

a soft light or a hard self-overcoming?

And those are depraved words

but you just don't understand, you whisper to me

your soft lips caressing my large ear



But with you I am okay, my friend

When we hold hands together, agreeing

nourishing my spirit ever so gently

and what did I do to deserve

your angelic graces, with me?



Become hard and indifferent, you say

to combat the ignorance at hand?
Learn not to care, at all?

And you love me with the play of a child

With your love, my great fear is an illusion



and I dragged my body through the streets long enough

to decide to uncover the ferocious will lying inside

that would be required to overcome that pathetic weakness

and to destroy that paranoia, that warm hill of ants



But at your soft request

all of your fine self refinements

are too close to the great heat

of your powerless will

and you have to calm that shitty little ego

if you ever hope to gain control over yourself



Wait, weren't you in command of the warmth

of that ecstasy that one time you glimpsed it

and what was it you said, that this feels heavenly?

yes, you knew then, did you not

that everything was perfect

that worry, fear, hate were illusions

created by your own depraved inner child

and that you can't lie with your self denials?



Weren't you the one who uttered those words

that made you feel truly alive, and awake

“This is what it feels like to be truly alive”

and didn't it radiate directly from within

from that fire, that source, the heart?



Didn't you show me that magic feeling

that indescribable glimpse, that true bliss

and do you remember taking that first glance

towards that great and "fearsome" mirror?



Oh, you knew it then, did you not

why can't you love me now, my depraved self asks

Oh yes, that's correct, the walls you build

Full of nauseating, disgusting, contemptful bricks



And god, please don't make me do it

deconstruct you piece by piece



But why are you so afraid

of showing tenderness and your sweet emotion

Oh that's right, you call it weakness

Well then, I proclaim your 'strengths' pathetic



But do not forget your face

that ever 'important' transient surfaceness

our skin is soft, like silk, it’s comforting

and yes, I do sleep on your pillows

and you just got to learn the art of charisma

so that you’ll no longer fear going to work

no longer fear interacting with people

and then you’ll no longer profess anti-work beliefs

you’re not really lazy, you’re just afraid

and so I would say, trace your fear to its source



And I do not sing for the rabble, but only the few

Who will really hear these words

And don't let those silent doubts haunt you

Those, my friend, are your weakness

and with every aborted fetus, a victory won



But there's no peak to be ascended here

your functioning is quite alright in my eyes

your tastes do indeed satisfy me alright

I'm okay, you're okay, we're okay



But your keen, gentle frankness

does much to impeach your modesty

and oh god, please hear these words

I want to see you, and you see me

But a mask is an important thing

If you ever want to fit in, that is

And so let it build, so that you can enjoy the pleasures

Of the mundane, the ordinary, the average man

 

and please, please don't resist, I say

together we can share that great bliss

and your meekness does much, too much

but your eyes do speak of gentle restraint



and when you feel the sickness of hypocrisy

starts to drive you a little insane

don't worry about it, it's insane, yes

but just forget about it, nothing we can change

and everyone is a hypocrite, and thus said

do not elevate yourself above others, you narcissist



and you are not innocent

and I am not innocent

we are sinners, we are dirty people

and we think we can control the world

and we shall be humbled, I tell you

by a great and powerful force

and we shall crumble under the massive weight

of our own great sickening hypocrisy

and yes, America, you can be quite sickening sometimes



and what is the modern conversation between two people

"Wassup nigguh, nada nigguh", robotic ravings

and play some of your social games with me

and play your social games with me

'nigguh' (spoken lightly mockingly), and do you find some satisfaction, I ask myself

in your poetic prophetic proclamations?



and goddamn those walls

and goddamn those halls

and we just can't escape

it's such a dirty and sad rape

and it’s because we lack conviction



And goddamn my indignant tones

and goddamn my indignant toes

and goddamn my indignant woes

and goddamn my indignant hoes

but wait, I am not a pimp



and if you're hearing this

don't fret, my dear boy

there's a many just like you

although stricken with the silence of many means

who are too afraid to speak their minds

and bless them, those who are silent



and try to contain your contempt, your disgust, your nausea

at a society that is sickening in its fakeness

but understand that you are a part of it too

and try to make the best of it, and remember this

take down the Man one smile at a time



and now you know me and I know you

and we both know of nothing worse

than the mundane, the ordinary, the average, the indecent man



Don't fret the magnification of your awareness, my dear boy

and try to just sit back and laugh

please remember that your love is magnified too

and through that love, your purification occurs

coupled with the strengthening of a great resolve



and who ever said that you were a sick man?

And don’t let anyone tell you that you are mad

and goddamn the fools who told you that you were

I call them ‘politicians’, ‘psychologists’, & ‘priests’



and you need to realize who you really are

You are one of the higher men, the noble men

Be proud of your nobility because it separates you

from that which you profess to disgust

the mundane, the ordinary, the average



and realize the power you truly have

you can do anything that you wish

and do not give anyone power over you

because you are great, with a strong will

but I did not mean do not give power over yourself to anyone

but then again, love gains no satisfaction from power



And don’t fret, my dear boy, about going mad

That’s just your little ego trying to scare you

Trying to make you think that you’re going to loose it

Well, tame that damned little child, the ego



and goddamn that moaning

can your eyes bear to see?

and can you bear it when your stomach caves in

from your own great nausea, contempt, and disgust?

and can your heart bear the doubt

from the clawing of your own beast?



but wait, I forgot my lines

to sing what words, what song, for who?

and your habits of underestimation

still serve to blind your eyes to others

and your horrible judgements

still serve as my alter of disgust



and as your dry heaves

makes your stomach bile visible

will you still recall the day you said

Love is the way?



and of course this will seem pretentious

and of course this will all seem vain

but do you still eat food, do you still fuck?

Likewise, your vanity is a need

Just like oxygen, water, food

But maybe that is a pretentious statement to make

What is vanity? I guess it’s faith in yourself?



And can you really hide anything anymore?

Is it nakedness that you'd fear, and why?

and would you really want to wear clothes again

without knowing its color, texture, shape?



And when you spew your naked lunch into the vain toilet

wouldn't it be best then to laugh lightly at your woes

and wouldn’t it be best to walk lightly, unconcerned, unmad?

and what was the thought you thought so highly of?

a nation of blind robots, excuse the indignant tone

well, you’re a robot too, you narcissistic one



and are we the romantic poets?

the outcasts, the outhrown, the unloved

but romance lies next to chaos

and it’s your sincerity that counts

and you’re just trying too hard, my boy

and you just got to calm down

and you’ve just got to learn to control the impulses of the little child

and gain some control over yourself

take what you may, and move on



to higher peaks

to greater laughters

to nobler heights

with a self-mocking tone of lightness

a gift for words, expression?

and you've simply just got to learn

that graceful art of charisma

and don't forget your naked self too



and yes, only the great and strong few

have the strength to bear the naked soul

and in my disillusionment

do I really want only the mundane, the ordinary, the average?



and why did the wisdom of silence resound so strongly in you

was it because you were afraid to speak

that others would not understand you?

And is it because of the following thought?

a nation of cowardly robotic conditioned souls

yet you think they would really never understand?

well maybe you're just speaking the wrong language

or maybe you just don’t know how to communicate

and too many people do not know how to communicate

and it’s a subject that many of us still have yet to learn



and ah, beyond heaven and hell, please

those are beliefs that smell of sheep

and you were sickened by religions

religions that speak of either eternal heaven or hell

and what kind of God would do that?

A monstrously uncompassionate one, that is who

And that god, is one that was erected by MEN

but you can't judge, only observe the mess that ignorance has caused man

and it's your ego that seeks to drive you into solitude

because it only wants its own company

and who are you trying to impress, ego?

Other people! So quit lying, you fucking pathetic little child

curse that misguided beast, and let this not fall

upon the ears of the deaf



and let this be an example, a warning

to what happens when you reject yourself

and let this be a testament to what happens

when all of your gears come grinding to a halt



and maybe this will serve as a testimony

to that higher type of man, the alone man

that type of which I am,

as are many, many others

many artists, many spiritual people are of this type

the type that has been suppressed for so long

by the cowardly robots who are in power

and it’s simply the natural outgrowth of consciousness

so don’t fear it, embrace it and evolve



and please don't fall into narcissism

and no, you're not the only real one left

and no, you're really not that special

not that much different than from anyone else



everyone is suffering, yet no one will admit it

and they put on smiles, to pretend that they are enjoying it

and yes, suffering can be enjoyable, I think

especially the wisdom that suffering brings



and how can I throw such naked light onto my own world, you might ask

It's called consciousness, awareness, acceptance

and you know damn well what to do, my dear

and that is to love yourself wholely, fully, to the core



and all you really need to do

is to be kind, gentle, & innocent, too

and your innocence is what protects you

but it’s not the blind innocence of a child

it's the gentle grace that saves

and it's got nothing to do with Jesus

unless you dig spokespersons



and isn’t it sad, that the priests in power

distort the messages of prophets

to fit their own depraved power cravings

so that they can control people with fear

and if you don’t believe them, you’ll go to hell



and all those dirty clueless people

living in the opposite of truth

blindly believing that they are good

but all you have to do is just look at their unhappiness

and you’ll see, that Christianity does nothing for them

but it did serve to tame their animal spirits

so I guess we should all be thankful for that

and did you learn a healthy disgust of hypocrisy at a young age?



and do I make you uncomfortable

and am I making you question

and do I make you think

and do you think that I'm an evil man?



and your stupidity

and your apathy

cause you to miss it all

and you just don't care

and you just don't care



and it enslaves you in its chains

and are you not disillusioned?

and maybe someone will hear this

and maybe it will comfort their soul?

 

and is there a height higher than love?

but what man can answer that question

and our love is our power, it is our strength

and your stupid hate is your weakness



and we've concealed it for far too long

and too many angry prophets are rising up

to throw stones at the disgusting lies you perpetuate

hopefully, to open your eyes too

you mundane, you ordinary, you average man



and why are my ears so big?

and does my nakedness scare you?

and if my ears weren't so big

and if you had not mocked them

well, perhaps I then could have short hair



and maybe I'll spend thousands of dollars

to get these elephant-like ears trimmed down to the normal size

and maybe I’ll make myself out of plastic

just like so many television actors do

and please, please, turn off your television



It's best to dance over this ocean

with light feet, lightly and gracefully

and to contain your disgust, contempt, & nausea

because you are one of them too, you narcissist



and maybe I should get a wife?

and maybe I should get a house?

and maybe I should buy a car?

and maybe I'm free from my disgust?



and thanks to this great humor of mine

for making everything light and acceptable

But, what were those endearing words as a child

“Am I going to heaven, mother?

I'm a good child too”



And how can I contain my rage

at such blatant tyranny over the spirit

but only a child complains

it takes a man to accept what he cannot change



and goddamn your idols, I say

and goddamn your 'gods' (spoken mockingly)

and goddamn those three pillars of ignorance

Christ, Abraham, and Mohammed too



and my little cat is a God

and I'm not worthy of her little paw

those green kiwi-colored eyes

far greater than your idols of gold

and it is because she is ALIVE



but oh, ignore that dirty little voice

that little child that can't seem to keep quiet

you need to put that fucker in its place

and make yourself the master of your mind



and don't you know that there is a war going on

for your mind, for your soul

and the robots have the power

but the warm humans have the soul



and when you look your ego in the face

how will you stand that impure reflection



And little child, when will you finally confront your fears

with the gentle ferociousness of a lion's will?

and when will you confront your great guilt?

and when will I confront my great guilt?



so take a good look at me

your great mad noble outcast

that dirty little freak

that you were too scared to meet



and let my words rain down on you

and let it plant seeds in your weary souls

and why'd you build that wall?

and why'd you put me in the hall?

and why'd you lock me in that cage?

though look in my eyes and you'll see

that you're just like me



and you’re tired of the games, you say

but aren’t games meant to be enjoyed?

you just gotta be genuine and real

be aware, and don't let that stupid ego steal



but that's right, you're nothing but a robot

well dear, let me jam up your gears

and darling, I want to short circuit your CPU

and baby, let me peel off that overcoat of plastic



and yes, Fuck you America too

Yes, I said it, what are you going to do to me America?

Burn me with your melted plastic skin?

and oh yes, fuck your pathetic little wars, too

and how can you do this to your children, America?

Leave them out in the freezing cold

You are guilty, America

Guilty of the highest evils

And yes, I am ashamed of you, America



(spoken in mocking tone of normal american) Oh me, oh my, he just spoke out against America

("")I'm gonna go home and vent by watching my TV”

("")"that dirty unpatriotic traitor communist hippie!"

Fuck you America, and your ignorance too



(Refer to above tone) Oh god, what's that he's saying about our beloved flag?

("")I'm gonna go home, eat some food, fuck my wife, consume

("")"Oh, Jesus will send that traitor to hell!"

Yes, where is he, your Jesus? An illusion too?



And don’t fret, dear boy, about this depraved society you’re a part of

Yes, this society is one that is full of misery

And that misery is perpetuated by the evil forces of media

By the depraved hands of a power-hungry few

Who would rather try to control everyone

Than to accept themselves, and lose their power-cravings

And just forgot about your negative conditions

Forget about all of those negative conditionings of society

And just learn to be one of the beautiful people



And in the end, all governments will fall

and in the end, all buildings will fall

and in the end, all religions will fall

and no one is immortal, we shall all fall too



And what if I don't want your casual sex?

What if I want the full physical/emotional/spiritual orgasm?

Does that make me a fag, you dirty little whore?

you animal, you venomous spider of the universe



And everyone here is lying to themselves

and I am lying to myself

And it's the mirror that I'm looking for

(spoken in humor) and they, those plural guys, are after YOU!



And I'm sorry if I am too fragile for your relationships

But I don't know, maybe you could bring something to my life

a certain bliss, a real gift, a beautiful light?

Yes, allow me to enjoy that right

I’d love to love you too



And Billy Graham is the Anti-christ

No other man in history has led so many astray

into such spiritual ignorance, apathy, and hate

and yes, Billy Graham is the man himself, the Antichrist



And how do you write poetry and songs, I once asked

I should have been told, if your muse isn't whispering, don't try

you'll only come out with disgusting pretension

instead of pure unadulterated nudity



And forget about that impersonal void

Do you really want to believe life is meaningless?

And fall into the eternal death of the void?

I'll choose life, I'll choose ecstasy

And I’ll choose a god who dances

And a god that celebrates all of life’s vivid colors



and I am God, and you are God, and we are God

and is that such a pretentious statement?

To call everyone a part of God?

And who’s to say what is right and wrong

Surely, not those hypocritical fools who call themselves ‘priests’

And that word ‘God’ is a joke in itself

And why are we ashamed to speak of it?

I want to no longer be ashamed to speak of God



and no, you were never able to break my great will

with your robotic conditioning passed off as 'education'

and turn off your goddamn TVs

and just say no to the police imperial rule

But don’t you know that freedom comes from within?

And no one can control yourself but you



and darling, do you want to see what it's like

when you're no longer certain of anything? but no

your cowardly ignorance doesn't permit you to

you could never breathe this free air, you’re nothing but a child

you are the mundane, the ordinary, the average, the WEAK



And the American male ego is a dirty, dirty thing

and you pathetic bourgeois men

who dare to call yourselves strong

and I see right through your play acting

and I spit at your pathetic fucking weakness

and I laugh at your 'strengths' (spoken in a very mocking tone)



and you pathetic bourgeois men, who are lying to yourselves

you men, who don't have the strength or testicles to realize

that all you really want is a woman with the same strength

who will look at you with the same great love as your mother

and it's the divine mother that you're really trying to return to

the mother that your soul lusts forever after



but you build up the walls, the false egos

only so you can have the will to create another burden

a child, who in their innocence, wants nothing less than total acceptance

and who you, in your ignorance, will destroy that innocence

and how can you live with yourself, once you know this?



and in your fear, you try to control and dominate

and you do it because you are afraid of yourself

and you fuck and dominate, because you cannot accept yourself

Who is the real man here, may I ask you?



You alpha-male, your weakness could not hold a candle to true strength

And sensitivity is strength, yet you lie to yourself

and are you sick yet, are you full of self disgust?

And do I need to show you even more of your demons?

And all I'm asking is why

And all I'm asking is why



And have you ever felt that ecstasy?

And when was the first time that you felt truly alive?

And have you ever experienced that beauty to such a degree

That the colors of life are simply indescribable

And I think it is time that we let the waves of ecstasy

Wash over our spirits and cleanse us of our own filth

And I think it is time that we finally embrace life

as an incredible, undeniable celebration, of ecstasy

And when we finally all learn to do that, and love

That is the day that heaven will descend to earth



And we will still scream up to the Heavens

still praying for the day

that Her ecstasy will be poured down upon us

 

Sorry about this being so long, but I plan on reading it at a few readings, and so it can be spoken faster than read, so that's why. And besides, I had a lot to say, haha.

 

Lots of great thoughts in there, God! I do think that you can lose most of the "and's", and trim a couple of lines up here and there. You've also got a lot of sarcasm and anger here; and (especially if you're going to be doing spoken word) I'd put some words in there to reflect that... it goes over really well in front of the crowd when you get in character and laugh, or mumble condescending remarks under your breath, or throw in questions to win the audience to your side. All that has to be done at the right moment of course, and I think you're well on your way already.

Thanks for sharing this, it was an enjoyable read!

 

Huge amount of work, and huge respect for it!!


S.

 

Thanks, both of yall. To fulmah, yea i know there is anger and frustration in there, and i want it to be like that. I want it to be bloody naked above all else. i wrote it with the 'ands' cause i meant for it to be spoken, so i figure it won't detract too much. and yea, i'm going to read a lot of it in a light self-mocking tone, laughing and stuff. Don't want to take it too seriously, for sure. peace