so i try meditate but i cant stop talking to myself in my head about meditating. like i just try to do it but i'm always talking to myself about it. any ideas on how to change this? where to start?
The skill you seek is to reduce the idle chatter that your mind makes. One way is to follow your breath. Focus your mind on following your breath in, hold, out, hold and this should distract the mind from focussing on meditation. If meditation thoughts do come into your mind rather than fighting to repress them just accept it make no judgement and allow the idea to float away into the space. Bringing some physical movement into meditation may also help, a kind of sequence meditation as an alternative to a still one. On an in breath bring your hands up in front of you (from down by your side) to throat level then turn the palms outwards and on an out breath extend them outwards to the side and down palms always leading. Try to make a smooth circle in tune with your breath. After a sequence of these movements you finish and allow the serenity to permeate your being a profound relaxation being achieved through an initial tension following release sequence. Feel free to ask any questions if the above is unclear. The small circles by only reaching the throat could be enlarged depending on mood by bringing your hands up to the sky but the lower position permits small and gentle circles to minimise the effort. Enjoy your practice but try not to desire results to quickly. Relax and the result will occur when you least expect it. You have the rest of your life to get it right!! Love and light Yoga teacher and medical professional.
When most people begin to try to meditate, they go in knowing that their "goal" is to experience the cessation of internal dialogue, and then whatever subsequent phenomenon that may bring. But the thinking that you have a "goal" implies that you must do something to achieve it. Most people sit to meditate, and they experience a thought in their minds. They then feel they must immediately inject a counter-thought, in order to destroy or nullify the first ("shh! mind, shhh!), but to do that is just to have another thought, and then there must be yet another counter-thought to erase the counter-thought, and it NEVER ENDS. The secret I think is to just do nothing at all. Watch your thoughts arise and fall, you watch them when they are born you watch them when they go away, and you don't have to do anything about it. Just watch, just observe, and eventually you may be surprised to discover that you have been enveloped in silence all along.
so i just need to let the thoughts i have come and pass without acknowledging them? sounds like a good start
yeah that doesnt really help the easy part is for me to stop intentionally thinking. but there is these other voices/random things that just pop around and they are really distracting
Have an attitude of radical acceptance. Accept the thoughts, just watch them. What you find frustrating isn't the thoughts, but your current inability to distance the observer (the real you) from the thought (ego). Anyhow, stop trying so hard, it's just meditation haha; don't take it so seriously. Focus on your mantra, and when you notice your mind drifting, just gently drift back. Above all, get rid of the notion that meditation is supposed to be something. Every meditation is different, and solely personal. If you have the pure intention for love or God, then there isn't any wrong path.
Keep the mind active (mindfullness meditation) rather than empty to start. If you concentrate on pratyahara (sensory withdrawal) like the tortoise withdrawing its limbs into its shell. The mind and senses are like a ship on the ocean (ship=mind/wind=senses) and the mind follows the senses (thoughts in your case) like the ship follows the wind. Do remember that there are 6 senses - sight, hearing, smell, touch, speech and thought. On the physical side by exercise you initially introduce tension which subsequently allows a greater relaxation. Bring sight to the front by perceiving what you see, then allow the perception to be ignored. Same with all the senses. When you get to the thoughts bring your thoughts to the front (perhaps think about a butterfly landing on your hand then make the butterfly disappear and just invite beauty to land) and then choose to let them go not allow them to take centre stage. Yoga nidra is the perfect state to achieve but needs the earlier stages to be passed first. Meditation in a group is also helpful since the group energy is synergistic. If you have a skilled teacher as well you can also obtain guidance. Thinking more positively rather than what has not helped has anything helped reduce this symptom?
not thinking is trickier than one would think i guess. i'll keep working on something and find my own way i guess. maybe try to find a happy place?
everyone here has given you good suggestions. i will add two more. first, start intergrating 'thought stopping' into meditation. whenever, unwanted thoughts enter your awareness yell 'STOP!' inside your head. like meditation, thought stopping takes time to master. second, if you tense in your body then, you will also be tense in your mind too. if you achive deep relaxation in your body then, your mind will quite down (relax) too. yoga is one way to achive deep relaxation. it is also great for meditation too. brisk walking for 30 to 45 minutes and, cleaning up what you drink and eat will help big time too. if you smoke then, stop now! one last thing. people in the western world as, a whole do not breath deeply. learn how to do deep natural breathing. that will also relax both your body and mind too. i hope this will be of help to you.
Stopping thoughts/thinking of nothing: The mind thinks; do not fight or try to stop the thoughts but just accept them. If we shout "stop thinking" that creates emotion whereas we are trying to 'let-go". Do not fight to stop the thought coming just accept it as coming but let it pass. Thinking of nothing is still thinking! Training the mind to think of something initially is a tool to ensure that when you empty the mind a greater emptiness ensues. Similar to the physical yoga carried out to ensure a more profound muscle relation. Breathing deeply: Yoga is not breathing deeply but the opposite. We have no need to breath in meditation so we slow our breath down to the bare minimum to sustain life. The breath is the key to meditation (defined as mind quiet) since if the breathing is slow then the mind-thoughts are slow. By bringing the mind to follow the breath we do in fact have an active mind since if the mind is not active we are dead. Do not get confused by yoga breath training to deepen the breath which is a muscle strengthening exercise not a meditation practice. Tension: Tense body = tense mind. To relax the body do a tense yoga exercise. After the forced tension one is better able to relax subsequently. Same with breath try Bhastrika or Bellows breath (carefully) and then notice how this relaxes the breathing subsequently. My mind always feels the most empty just before taking an examination or writing a post so perhaps this is one solution for true nidra There is a charge for this advice; it is not free. You owe the teachers here feedback as you journey along this path of meditation. Edit: Bhastrika is an advanced yoga practice. I do feel it should be learnt direct from a yoga teacher rather than a book or video however I understand you use the tools you have. Just be careful.
Here is a link to a structured plan on meditation. I feel that for a pure meditation one needs to acknowledge thoughts, do not judge them and allow them to pass into space. This system suggests you seek out these thoughts and judge them as good or bad and discard the bad and accept the good. This is suggesting not so much meditation as mediation with a purpose; to generate a flow of good thoughts. I am suggesting that a mind rest mediation is the first but an active meditation is the second. The first is more like a yoga nidra or yoga sleep and the second is more like mindfullness meditation. Many ways to skin cats meditation ...and a useful wiki article covering various ideas of meditation. Wiki meditation
This is the kind of thread I needed but was to lazy to make. Thanks, good tips I might try again sometime.
Don't feel frustrated, common problem, and the first mistake is that frustration. Meditation isn't really about actively trying to achieve anything, you just relax yourself and let yourself "be". Don't fight the thoughts, don't try and change the thoughts, don't even acknowledge them really. Find and be that space underneath the thoughts.
I would strongly advise everyone to start with a serious course in meditation in a centre or group under the guidance of an experienced teacher, preferably at least with a few days in silence. This should give you a genuine feeling of the effect that meditation can have on the mind. Many people try to teach themselves meditation by reading books etc., but I can't remember ever meeting an enthusiastic self-taught meditator. So a proper course, if possible with a qualified teacher is invaluable. Furthermore, one should realise that continuity in meditation is considered essential: better five minutes a day, every day, than two hours once a week. For example, five minutes in the morning are likely to become longer over time, and can easily become part of your everyday life.
See if you can observe these thoughts! Be a witness, the observant ;-). It can be very interesting to be a spectator of what bubbles to the surface . And the great thing about this is that when you distance yourself from those thoughts, and become the observant, you are automatically the meditator ;-) Good Luck ..
