So I've known for years that I can't do it on my own, so I've started listening to audio programs that are supposed to guide you through it and 'hypnotize' you. That's cool... if it would fucking work. At the times where you're supposed 'drift' and fall into deep meditative trances I'm just sitting there trying not to open my eyes. Even when I feel really submissive and receptive I still never really meditate. It's true, I'm incapable of falling into relaxation. What's my problem?
You're approaching meditation as a "technique", a "device", or an "invention", rather than an organic, integral practice of your unique person. Don't depend on anything outside of you. Forget about technique. Stop thinking about what you're not supposed to do, like "opening your eyes". It really doesn't depend on having your eyes closed, or open. It's about the focus. If you're focused, the other things drop away. It's an internal rather than an external focus. The best "devices" are those that are your own, your breath, your internal feeling of joy, etc. Focus on your breath, for instance. Just take it in, deeply, freely, and let it out slow through the nose by partially shutting off the throat as you exhale, listening to the subtle hiss as the air escapes your lungs. Do this for a period of time, just focusing on the breath. You don't need a book to meditate. You don't need a guru to meditate. You only need yourself. Slow it down, relax, and focus. For relaxation, choose a posture that you are entirely comfortable with. Don't do some "position" just because someone says so. Get comfortably relaxed, whatever it takes. Learn to relax your entire body, just sitting, just standing, just lying down. If necessary, just focus on one body part at a time, relaxing each in turn from toes to eyebrows, or vice versa. In the end, it's just you, and your breath. Deeply breathing, and letting it out slow, you will notice a change. You'll feel the joy. Stay there a while. Stay there forever, if you can. Learn to go about your day with this sense of peace, doing things in simplicity, aware.
^^^^ I agree. You're trying to hard. Meditation is gentle. AND it's an innate ability. You don't really learn to do it. You only allow yourself to happen, to come to you. Meditation is YOUR time, do WHATEVER you feel like. Let it come to you.
I agree as well. From what I have gathered is that meditation is just watching your thoughts. Sit comfortably, eyes opened or closed, and just focus on your thoughts. Not hanging on to any particular thought. Not judging your thoughts but just acknowledging that the thoughts are there. If any of the people more experienced in how to meditate think I am wrong, let me know.
thoughts, not organized sorry: - try meditation with eyes open, focus on something still. some people choose this over closed eye meditation. - you could start by practicing mindfulness in your daily life.. google mindfulness and buddhism or zen etc.. this can lead to meditation that feels easier. - relaxation might not come easily or early.. just accept a state of "being.." that is, don't attempt. just be there. sit or lay down, whatever is comfortable. let go of expectations or intentions. - allow thoughts to flow. sometimes i picture a pond. when i have a thought i picture a ripple in the pond. soon i become closer to the ripples and they slow..stop..the water becomes still. i am the water. i am. i have no clue if any of that will be helpful.. best wishes eace:
May is ask, why do you want to meditate? My understanding is imperfect, however, it is that your own ordinary mind is Perfect. In relaxation, in arousal, in boredom, in enlightenment and in ignorance. For me personally meditation is just sitting in this mind/heart I don't aim to relax, to have any experiences... well that's not quite true, part of me does want too, part of me is bored, part of me is excited, part of me wants to watch TV, but behind all these changing states is my pure awareness, Bodhi, and this is where it's at for me I don't mean to talk about myself, but just to illustrate that meditation does not need to be relaxed, or blissful, or a trance and just because you can't relax does not mean your not meditating, in fact, maybe you shouldn't relax, maybe you should be as alert as possible? Maybe you should be fully present, wide awake and if that is the criteria then it seems like your doing fine, and I personally think you are doing fine. Another way to look at it is that there are a lot of different ways to accomplish the goals of meditation and you may benefit from a different technique or path. You could try to use mantra, or learn techniques for moving energy through the subtle channels and chakras, you can use body postures, focus on candles, preform rituals, use sacred song and dance. Even within these choices different variations may be much better for you. For eg. in regard to 'mantra' you might like to use a Rosary alone in a Church or you might prefer to sit naked around a Dhuni with a bunch of Nathas. So perhaps investigate different approaches and you might find with greater ease the fruits you hope to attain by sitting quietly. If relaxation is your primary goal just think of when you have felt relaxed, ask yourself what where the conditions that bought about this state and are they repeatable? It doesn't really matter what they are, a day hard satisfying work, a night of fun and dancing with friends, and if you like you could try to meditate when your in this naturally relaxed state. One thing I do is to start out meditating, then if my body feels like moving so I let it move, let it flow spontaneously and then when it has settled down I sit down again and can enter more fully into meditation. Another technique I like is to drown everything you perceive in love. You can start out by entering into your heart and thinking of somebody or something which you love intensely, then once you have this feeling, then anything that you think, or feel, or imagine, or hear, anything at all, you just cover it completely in love. After sometime you will find a complete stillness. You should do this in any position that you find most comfortable at the time, can be sitting in a lazy boy with a blanket over you, or lying in you bed, sitting in lotus posture by a fire anything you like. It may sound a little 'new agey' but this is actually a very old Sufi practice and is quite profound in it's affects. So... not your problem, more likely a problem in the technology
Thanks for the responses guys. I found an audiobook by Bruce Frantzis that emphasizes the same points as evolve's post. Like everybody else said - yes! I'm not just letting it happen / thinking 'it' is some sort of transformational experience... rather than just being. It's the guided meditation program's fault, not mine
Find a good warm up strategy. Start by shaking the joints and loosening up the spine. Bend over and touch your toes. Read some favorite spiritual text. Visualize peace and happiness. Find what personally turns you on: scripture, poetry, favorite songs, chants, etc. Interweave these things into your day. 2-5 minutes per hour. You will create a powerful momentum that will creep up on you. Before you know it, meditation will be easier. You can't just sit down and expect to calmly watch your breath and your thoughts. A larger strategy is required. Most people who get fed up and quit have not quite discovered this yet. Find your own strategy based on what speaks to your soul. Don't worry about other peoples' strategies, even if they're thousands of years old. Does this make sense? I kind of rushed through it.
something that works for me: stretch darkish room w/ comfortable temp control your breathing with my breathes i imagine im on a swing with each inhale i go back, exhale i go forward sooner or later my body falls asleep and my mind is free to do as it pleases.
real meditation is a simple trick that is very hard to take to so it involves practice - that trick is to look down directly through the mind to its bottom and coexist in that state ultimately in action. Now this is very very difficult to maintain and so people practice practice practice every day. Even a ten minutes of chanting can be considered meditation as chanting changes the breath which also does realign posture and has other benefits most notibly dealing with breath and balance, and magnetism (more on that you can learn yourself - consider Red Tara for you - don't give up - thank me someday by being nice to someone else who is ignorant).
I've found that while I can meditate easily most of the time (took practice) I can't meditate at all during a thunderstorm. I get all charged up from the electricity in the air, and feel like the proverbial "ferret in the aquarium." It can be really productive if channeled properly, but anything calming is just out of the question. A few minutes after the storm is over, I'm fine and can Zen out sans problems. This may not have been entirely related, but I do have to ask: are there a lot of electrical devices in the area where you're meditating? Or worse: how much caffeine do you take in? Meditation gets much harder with stimulants. I had to give up caffeine completely before I could really get anywhere (dropped the drug for medical reasons, not solely for meditation).
If you haven't already, try hatha yoga for awhile, many classes have a brief period of meditation after the session and the stretching calms the body and mind. When I first started meditating, I sat for just 3 or 4 minutes but tried to add a minute everyday (this was the advice from some book I was reading). Very quickly I was able to sit for 20 or 30 minutes. The key was to set aside a time and make an effort every single day. You may also want to try a guided, group practice, can be much easier for a beginner.
You're trying to hard. Meditation is gentle. AND it's an innate ability.you dont need to learn meditation it just happens
My tip is that you must put yourself in a mindset that you can meditate. In my view a bad starting point is to assume in advance that you are not able to relax. Maybe yoga is a good form of meditation for you? Or at least try some physical activity to reduce your tension before starting meditation. Good luck.
