New to this and surprisingly comfortable?!

I guess I posted this story in the wrong category yesterday, so sorry for the re-post, I just need others' perspective, outside my social surroundings.

I've only ever had girlfriends in my life. Never really had a strong sexual lifestyle either, running joke is my libido is dead, so quite under-experienced. Fantasized about a few classmates, but thought it was normal cause some of my buddies told me of things they've done that I didn't have the 'balls' to try (i.e: mutual j-o, finger up an ass...). Been raised around my sisters and their gay friends, which kept my mind open and highly respectful of them, and never caused any discomfort, unlike the popular reaction.

BUT recently, ran into a guy who works at a clothing shop I always go to, and just caught my attention in a different way. And ironically, I guess he saw the same 'attraction' as me cause he's also drawn to me, smiles and compliments and all. At first I only thought he was doing his job, but I kept wanting to go back so I did, and slipped a comment where he 'must be annoyed to see me there', and replied "never with you"...

So, after at least a month of doing my weekly Sunday visit, he always came to serve me ahead of all other staff members, confirming there must be an interest, and gave me a heads-up of the new inventory coming in during the week, and that he'd be there on Monday as of 1pm. I guess it was an invitation. I'm seriously clueless on this kinda stuff, I'm far from being a player, so I'm always doubtful if there are any 'read between the lines' comments.

But after all this, I'm still thinking of him, and feeling happy about it, even tried fantasizing about him and wasn't disappointed. So I figured I'd never know unless I tried, and went ahead and asked him out. To my surprise, he looked to the ground with a grin and said "yeah sure, but not tonight because of my studies, I gotta get up at 5am to beat the traffic to get to school". (plus my colorblindness doesn't help so I couldn't tell if he was blushing or not, but I'm sure I definitely was) That's when I figured it was authentic, because we kept talking about what he's learning and that's when I asked, "man, how old are you?".

SO what makes the story a little more awkward is our age difference is insane. From one being 20 and the other being 32, but both physically look mid-20's. And out of all of this, the age thing is the only thing that eats me up inside?!?

So after all this happened, I've never felt such a pressure off my shoulders, but was noxious as hell, and still had the shakes, just like when you are about to get into a brawl with someone to give you an idea of I felt like. But had the biggest f*ckin' grin ever! Everybody kept asking me what's up, so I guess it shows. Even got told I was glowing, felt like I heard one of my sisters being told that by their gay friends before, lol.

Basically, what I'm trying to get out this forum, is to clear my conscience a little more, you've all obviously figured out that I'm a bit insecure here. I've always overheard conversations from my sisters' friends and others that bisexuality was bullsh*t, but I'm still very turned on by key-features of the female anatomy.
So where's the truth in all of this?
Plus, I also wanted to know if 32yo and 20yo was creepy? (already got a few thankful answers on other forum, sorry for repeat)
And finally, will I miss dating women to a point that I'll lose interest in him and have wasted all this time for nothing? Basically, is this just a phase, plain curiosity, authentically bisexual, or still closeted homosexual with a "soon to be" rude awakening? (LOL, sorry if I'm overdoing this)

Thanks in advance for the help, no matter good or bad, I need to hear this.

 

No Advice Will Be Forthcoming From Me, You Sound Like You Have Your

Act Together Quite Nicely Thank You.!!...

Best Of Luck, And Don't Just Post And Then Leave, Get Back To Us

And Update Us On How Life Is Turning Out For You....



Cheers Glen.

 

Thank you GlenGlen, but as comfortable as I may seem in all of this, I'm still confused, as to, if all of this makes any sense, or not even supposed to make any sense.
You see today, I gave my number to a girl without remorse to what happened on Thursday, but all through the process, still thinking about what happened on Thursday with my 'first' male contact. I know you're not a psychiatrist, but if anyone's ever been in the same scenario, guidance would definitely be appreciated.

 

welcome down the rabbit hole! you are about to embark on the journey of your lifetime. and in the end, you will know yourself so much better! my advice: dont be in a rush to make any one decision. and dont label yourself or what your doing. At the moment you are interested in men and thats all you need to know

 

charming story. is the age difference really a problem for you? how come?

and it sounds like you're overthinking things a bit. chill out on the labelling, cuz you're trying to find an answer that'll only be answered through time. live in the now, and do what feels good and right for you.

 

1. will you miss dating women? i don't think that's how it works. if you find a person you want to be with, you won't miss dating all the other people in the world (unless you're specifically into the whole dating scene).
And it's not a waste of time. If nothing else you gain a new experience. waste of time is to do things you know you don't want to do.
2. is it a phase? --who knows. every person you have dated and haven't settled down with could be called 'a phase'.

Right now you barely know the guy, so it's obvious you don't know how it will work out to be. these questions don't have an answer right now. Once you spend more time with him and get to know him you'll get the answers as well.

 

Wow,
TheMistress: your insight on the whole labeling thing, um, tu m'a plugger ben raide! Your comment kinda woke me up, like I've already judged myself before worrying about what others think, I don't know if that makes any sense, but thanks!

boguskyle: I know age shouldn't have any importance, but at such a young age, wouldn't kinda conflict on the serious/non-serious aspect? Meaning one's ready to settle down where as the other might still wanna 'live'...I know I'm over-thinking this, lol, but I think I mentioned that I'm a bit insecure in these new revelations.

meridianwest: wow again, I guess I see your point with the missing women comment, I'd be in one relationship and should concentrate on that one, and NO, never been and not interested in doing the dating scene. I guess what I meant in a cleaner tone was, will I miss vaginal intercourse.
But your second comment "is it a phase? --who knows. every person you have dated and haven't settled down with could be called 'a phase"...that just stunned me, I'm still thinking it through as I typed all of this. But yeah, I guess I should see where it goes and review it myself if I wanna proceed.

I really do thank you guys/girl, these days have been very heavy ,AND different, on my mentality. Not even stressful, just not able to think of anything else but this whole ordeal.

 

im here to help you out in anyway that i can please dont be shy to message me directly if you ever wanna talk xo

 

Well people, for an update, it's been a week and there is no progress, I haven't run into him nor got any calls...I guess it might've been a spur of the moment thing?

 

Sucks you haven't heard from him. To me, all of this indicates that you are really wanting to try something different. I hope that you don't give up on men because this guy has yet to call you, feed your curiosity - you just might LOVE IT!

 

You asked him out, you should be getting in touch. Do it.

 

Men Are Like Trains, If You Miss One, Don't Despair, Another One Will

Arrive In A Few Minutes.....



Cheers Glen.

 

You remind me of a friend of mine

 

Nope. If you like him and he likes you, then age shouldn't be an issue.

No one can answer that except you.

It might be a phase, it might not be. Just go on how you feel, it's the best thing you can do. Trust your judgement.

 

Nobody can deny that to reproduce, you need man and woman, but Sex is Sex, Love is Love, Attraction is Attraction. I'm not afraid of the whole concept of being with a guy, I am definitely nervous about it.
To my perspective, a mouth is a mouth, a kiss is a kiss, oral is oral, penetration is penetration. A male mouth doesn't have rocks and razor blades in it and a female's having millions of the best little tongues...they are both the anatomically identical.
It's just that this is the first guy to which this has happened with. That weird feeling that you know they are thinking and feeling the same, like both hesitating to say more, most likely wanting to explore the same...Ahhh! It still bothers me after all this time. I'm gonna show up tomorrow and see how much further this can go, and I'll keep you guys posted (GlenGlen).
LOL, I just hope I don't turn it into some stalker-like situation.

 

This is an old thread, but I still felt like replying. I would just treat
him the way you would any friend. Just because he's gay doesn't mean
you would have sex with him anyway.
Just treat him as a friend.