AMAZING Guy-->PERFECT SEX!

I have to agree with Vanilla Gorilla on this one. It's not a question of whether Lurd's girlfriend is emotionally strong or not neurotic. Most people aren't all that comfortable with their fine love thang getting it on with someone else. When it's someone who isn't your sex, it's an added level of discomfort.

 

Ok then, in my experience every female I've ever met has been neurotic especially about body image, every straight female neurotic about how well she attracts the opposite sex

So when the OP says something like 'Nah, Dude, She's Totally Secure', I'm going to put my money on that he's just convinced himself thats the case so he feels less guilty.

In my opinion, every single one of us would take it personally if our partner told us the best sexual experience of their lives happened with someone else



You see, I put in the buffers, alongside the absolutes, same effect, becuase in this case anyway, those absolutes are true - You could argue the first one, about all women being neurotic maybe not true, but the second one, who wouldnt be offended if their partner said I've had better

 

For starters, I find that your paraphrasing what I said in a little pseudo quote, obviously affected by your image of me in the instance - which is based entirely on your own prejudice (agist perhaps?) - entirely comical. I'm not some surfer or poser who thinks he's cool. I don't say "nah" or "dude". 2nd, I do feel really guilty about the situation. I'm not going to try to lessen it. I'm driving myself crazy about it. I deserve the pain. But, the fact remains that she is amazing and perfectly secure. 3rd, she and I never had sex, because up until, well now, we were both the good old-town folks who didn't even watch movies with nudity in them. So it's not a case of telling her "I've had better". It's a case of "I've had". Just, in the future, don't assume anything Vanilla, because it just makes you wrong.

 

Being truly objective about ones self is one of the hardest things we try to do. Working out what people really think of you near impossible

Are any of us perfectly secure about anything? How on earth are you going to be aware of the stuff thats going on in her head that she's never going to tell you. Some stuff she's never going to tell you to protect your feelings. Some stuff she's never going to tell you cos you are still a guy and she's going to assume there are things you just arent going to understand.

Let me throw a spanner in the works and turn it on its head. How can you be a 100% sure that she didnt work out what you are before you did. That yes she is secure because she knows by being with you, she gets all the benefits of a boyfriend without the pressure of a sexual relationship she feels she is not ready for. That cant be the case right? Even though lots of her other female friends are complaining that their boyfriends try jump on top of them all the time, and they say things to her like "Gee, I wish my boyfriend was more like yours"

Is that the real reason you two have never had sex?

Dont assume anything? Facing this struggle at 18 yrs old, tells me you're not the guy that faced this struggle at 6 yrs old, or the guy that never knew there was a struggle to face.

That last group, when we hear guys like you say stuff like "Well I'm gay, but I'm still the same person" - takes us a long time to work out what the fuck you are talking about, still the same as what? A lot of the stress and confusion early on comes from other 'gay' people

I dont say that to try make out I'm better than you, or that I'm questioning your orientation, I'm not, sounds like you are going to join GLBT, just saying we are different, I know you were never the little 4 yr old dude mommy put in the girls play pen cos she thought that would be safer than putting you in with the guys. And just cos you join GLBT, doesnt mean you are going to get on with all the other G's, some wont understand you, you wont understand them.

And thats something that doesnt change with age or experience, our esteemed elder and moderator here Yarapario, is gay, works, or has worked counselling guys that have been the victims of childhood sexual abuse, and thus thinks he knows everything there is to know about that. When I know he doesnt, because when the perps are younger girls, no words are ever spoken, we cant say anything if the perps are more innocent than we are, or that we dont even see them as perps, more so that mother nature is the perp. Something that 99.5% of the population will never see or comprehend, including a lot of GLBT

Dont assume or stereotype, well no, my little brain is just calculating the odds you are going to act a certain way, which is never totally accurate, you and I are never really going to understand each other

 

VG - I finally figured out why an intelligent gay man can be so irritating.

You are a pessimist!

What you say in that latest diatribe may be quite accurate from your perspective and apparently negative life experiences, but not everyone, even gay teens get knocked around by the big bad world.

And, if they do they have a chance to roll with the punches, learn from them and get wiser for the next round.

Don't be so hard on the young man. So what if the girl turns out as you predict to be volatile and throws a tissy fit. It's not like he's married to her. He's young, he can move on - no big deal.

I've slammed doors behind me at that age. (and even when "mature") Relationships come and they go - some just melt away and no one knows why. Just the game of tag we all play while travelling thru life. If he lives for the moment and goes where life forces pull and push him, then that is what it is about.

Or at least in my experience it works for me.

 

Yeah, you're right, it all comes off a bit harsh. And if nothing else, Lurd can use that avoid turning into me if he so wishes

I dont know what the situation is, if he is her security blanket or if she is indeed about to get crushed. I hope it is the first one, cos thats pretty fuckin cool really, they probably will be life long friends, or at least in twenty years time when they meet up, they to each other will be the only ones to remember each other in that way at that time

If its the second one he can expect a drunken phone call out of the blue in 5 years time "You really fucked with my head you bastard"



Still, you should see it in real life nowadays, fuck me dead, if their way is better than mine, why is it that everyones getting angry at me, and they are getting angrier as they get older. If I'm wrong them why not simply dismiss me rather than discredit me. I wouldnt be so irritating if I didnt hit the nail on the head half the time.


Still apologies to Lurd, Little dudes only 18, hasnt even hit prime breeding season yet (25-35yrs), if he's gay during that he'll know the meaning of bitchy then So doesnt really know what I'm on about.

But you are right Shale, its the journey thats the fun part

 

Well, at least i agree with you on that one! Thanks for the referral though to yarapo. And just thanks for trying to help me work it out everyone.

 

I was dating a girl when shit actually figured out in my brain, at first it did not go down well at all. Now she's one of the hags yo.