Developed feelings and emotional bond with fuck buddies

I have met my current fuck buddy on the internet and we have chatted for few times before we met in person. I don't know if the definition of fuck buddy really reflects on our relationship at the moment. We have only been seeing each other for a month and I have been to his place at once or twice a week and each time I went there I always stayed over even for the first time we met. We have been having bareback sex since. I don't usually have bareback sex with a fuck buddy because I have such a strong belief that bareback should only be practised when you're in a long term relationship but he managed to convince me into doing it with him. I felt vulnerable at first but then I really enjoyed it and how gentle he was in bed with me. I felt protected.

We hardly talk on the phone but mainly just texts. He hardly initiated the conversation and it was always me who started to send him texts. Recently, we have been doing a lot things like a couple. I have been to his place a few times and cooked for him and stayed over. Then we would cuddle in sofa and watch tv and kiss. We even went out for lunch and dinner at times. Then he always cuddled me in bed and gave me few gentle kisses on my shoulder. Then when we woke up, he will always give me a kiss. You know all these little things you would do when your boyfriend is sleeping next to you. But in fact, I wasn't. I'm just his fuck buddy.

I have been sharing a lot of my life problems recently and even told him about my family and my past. I think we kinda have that emotional bond but then sometimes he can be really cold to me by not replying to my texts. Then when we talked about my problems, he will always said, you can always call me to talk about anything. How worried he was at times when I was depressed.

Then most recently when he came back from his holiday, he told me that his previous fuck buddy was infected with STD and I should have myself checked up too. I felt betrayed by that announcement but then I can't put myself in the frame of mind of blaming him for the whole situation. He told me that he's got a regular bareback fuck buddy but he hasn't seen him for ages and it has always been only me ever since. And when he told me that he fucked a guy during his holiday, i felt jealous at times. So couple of days ago, I went for a sexual health check up and I have been told I might have been infected with STD but can't be confirmed yet as I'm still awaiting for the test results. I felt the agony inside me and we even met once during this period when am waiting for my test result and then he wanted to have sex even though he knew it's not safe to have sex before I get my test result cos I might be infected with STD. When I refused, he seemed a little bit annoyed but then he was being very nice after. It's so hard to read his mind and his emotion.

I know for sure I have developed feelings for him and it seemed pretty one sided at the moment. But all the little things he's done to me showed that he might or might not have feelings too. I know that we have agreed to be fuckbuddies from the very beginning but I can't help myself but to fell for him. He's constantly on my mind. I have been trying to minimise the initial contact with him but always failed!

Have anyone been through such situation before? If you do, could you please advice me? what should I do now? I'm so confused....

E x

 

You should have always worn a condom, first and foremost. STD's are nasty, HIV is even worse. I mean, he didn't tell until after, he could have infected you with practically anything!

I think, if you like him, you have to certainly speak to him about it. You are sounding like a couple, but you just need to make it exclusive. I mean, being in a relationship would at least hopefully assure that he will not be sleeping with anyone else, and only you.

 

your story is exactly like mine! i've got a thread on here that explains my situation if you want to read it, because it is exactly like yours! i feel for you i really do, i dont really have any advise i can give you as i'm in the same boat. tell myself to move on, nothings ever gonna happen, he's so hot and cold i dont know where i stand, just find someone who isnt so complicated....and then i receive a text from him and its back to square one!