So. Here's the situation... (Mike "The Situation", Jersey Shore) Just kidding. Now that I've (possibly/hopefully) won you over with some humour, here's the real situation... Five years ago, I was dating this girl. I fell totally and completely in love with her. She's basically perfect for me in every conceivable way. She's smart, funny, into practically all the same things I'm into (whether that's books by michael chrichton, theatre, guns, etc, etc, etc), one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, totally into the same things as I am sexually speaking... Anyways, after a couple months we broke up. It took me a fuck of a long time to feel okay about it, but after a long time I finally felt like maybe I was over her. Tonight I had some friends over... including this girl. Now I've seen her a couple other times since that and while I've always felt a bit of an attraction to her, it's never been too big of a deal. I've been able to deal with it, you know? But tonight, we're curled up together on my sofa watching a movie, talking about all these things we like and we really start to hit it off. I can tell that she's still attracted to me and I realize that there's no way I'm over her. Not at all. I'm still just where I was all those years ago. So we fooled around a little - I wont go into details, it's not necessary - and we ended up outside, making out, wondering what the fuck we were doing and what to do next. Here's the fuckin' ball breaker; She leaves to go back to her university tomorrow. Now, granted, it's NOT FAR from where I live. It's maybe 4 hours tops (mostly because you have to take a ferry to get there). But the separation of that water feels terrible. Having to 'travel' to get to her, rather than just go to her... You know? I want to be with her again sooo badly and my passion for her has just now been rekindled. So here's my question: What the fuck do I do? Do I call her, text her, go to see her? When? How? What do I say? I'm normally so confident with these kinds of things but with this girl it's different. I feel so.. I can't even describe it. But it makes me weak in the knees and grasping at straws to form coherent sentences. I know I'm new here, but please, if you've actually read through all this and haven't just blown it off as some sort of crazy emo romantic rant, please let me know what you think. I'm lost.
Sorry to hear about your situation. It's really too bad, because she is so far away. You don't really know what her life is like there (or do you?) She may not want to do the long distance thing, and that's only if she's really interested. Are you going to school right now? Is there anything keeping you where you are? If you lived near her, it would be different. I would say 'go for it!' but 4 hours is a fair distance to be in a relationship with her. Text her. Get to know her as a good friend again and see where things end up. Best of luck.
Well, I do and I don't. I've certainly been to her city, spent a little time there (though that was quite a while ago) and, through the magic of Facebook and so-on I'm able to stay at least slightly in-the-loop. I'm not going to school, but I do have a job. I'm also currently taking care of a friend that was kicked out of his parents' place and needed someplace to stay. He's just getting back on his own two feet, getting two part-time jobs, but I still don't feel like I could just walk out on him. As it was, the first time we dated we were pretty long-distance too, as she lived half in the city, half in a nearby mountain town. That never seemed to be too big an issue - at least, I don't think so. Still, I'd like to go and visit her soon... Thanks for reading and for offering some advice. I've had a relatively sleepless night tonight trying to work this all out.
If you both want it to work, itll work. Ive never been a fan of dating someone who lived even over an hour away. I dont like travel to be an issue when Im seeing someone. Next time you see her talk to her about it. Dont talk about it all over the phone or through text. I hate how almost nothing is communicated face to face now days. Youll be able to convey your emotions better and she'll see exactly how you feel. Give it a shot, just stay in touch with her until then through phone or text or whatever
Do you think I should go there? Or wait until the next time she comes back here. I don't wanna wait until like... Winter break or something... just to see her again.
Wait until she comes back OR only make one trip out there between now and then. I know what its like to be crazy for a girl but youve gotta remember not to be clingy. The space between you two isnt a bad thing, might even help. Just play it easy and itll all work out. Plus, once she does come around again it wont be like you guys havent seen each other in six months. Youll pick up where you left off. Its how you know you mean something to someone in my opinion
I'm just worried she'll take it as me looking for a one night fling or something like that. I don't want to be clingy, but at the same time I don't want to lose her. This might be my last chance, you know?
I feel you haha but you guys didnt hook up, did you? Thought you just talked and what not? I dont think youve got anything to really worry about. Just go with her flow
I guess that depends on what you mean by "hooking up". Do you consider "hooking up" to be purely "sex" or inclusive of kissing, touching, etc? It tends to vary person to person, so I figured I'd clarify. If you include things other than just sex, that's what I meant with the "So we fooled around a little - I wont go into details, it's not necessary". If sex only then no, we didn't. Would've been a little over my bounds to just go at it with everyone else there. Dark enough to fool around a bit, but not that dark. lol Yeah. We'll see what happens. Worst case scenario, I'm just back where I was five years ago. Heh.
When I think of hooking up its either just sex or everything else, because thats what usually happens. There is rarely both in a hook up xD Least youre ready for it and this time wont be as bad, if it happens like that
Sent her a text wishing her a safe and pleasant journey. Said we'd talk later. Don't want to put the pressure on right now. Maybe she'll call/text me back when she is ready. Who knows?
This is the relationship forum. If you posted something other than a crazy emo romantic rant, it would be miscategorized. Why did the relationship fail the first time? Hope everything works out.
The relationship didn't fail really. She had issues with a past boyfriend that really messed her up and she just couldn't be in a relationship of any kind. The break up was entirely mutual. I just wanted what was best for her (still do). When we decided to end it we did decide that, at some point in the future, we may happen to get back together again. Thanks for the good wishes.
So did you guys remain friends after your break up or what? Basing it on just your info... what did you two discuss - did you two talk about your relationship or getting back together, to remain friends ? Honestly I wouldnt worrry too much about "needy" since you two already dated for 6 months if I am correct, then communicate should be there already. If she truely likes you back, she will try to MSG you back and contact you. For now I guess all you can do is talk to her over whatever you have with her (internet, cellphone etc etc) to have a meeting date and talk about it then. Dont stress too much and keep yourself busy, you seem like a good person. Know in the end either it will be a relationship, a good long friend, or an expericned learned. GL
