ink stained hands. original song

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by fondfarewell, Sep 21, 2010.

  1. fondfarewell

    fondfarewell Member

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  2. rollingalong

    rollingalong Banned

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    less is more...no chorus...you kinda stretch syllables and lines to fit your rhythm..i would do it slower,,,cut out half the lyrics...add a chorus and one higher chord in the guitar part



    and holy fuck dude

    cheer up lol...its a fine ''rough draft''
     
  3. fondfarewell

    fondfarewell Member

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    Haha yeah, thanks for the feedback. I don't know though, it's supposed to be a wordy song and I'm not too big on choruses. And I'm a pretty happy dude just don't like happy cheerful life's good music lol. The "..i am alright, well, maybe" and "still here but barely" were sort of supposed to be chorusey

    But yeah, I agree, the guitar is boring as fuck. Fully intend on making it much more interesting, possibly finger pick
     
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    deleted Visitor

  5. fondfarewell

    fondfarewell Member

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  6. Captain Cannabis

    Captain Cannabis Banned

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    If you want a drum track PM me and I'll do it for you.
     
  7. The Imaginary Being

    The Imaginary Being PAIN IN ASS Lifetime Supporter

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    It's pretty decent, guitar could be a little better though. It gets repetitive 'cos it's only two chords.

    Good effort.
     
  8. fondfarewell

    fondfarewell Member

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    Yeah I was having a lot of trouble with the chords. I just don't see what else would sound good with the melody. Sort of like the song only calls for so much. But I also intend on adding some little riffs/fills or whatever over it with another guitar. It's still gotta lot of work to do. This is the first song I've ever tried to record, well, the first song I've ever tried to record and didn't just completely trash the whole idea right from the get go. Thanks for the feedback, though, guys.

    Also, CC, I PM'd you.
     
  9. The Imaginary Being

    The Imaginary Being PAIN IN ASS Lifetime Supporter

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    To be fair, sometimes that's all a song will need. I think if you continue to build over the top of these chords, maybe adding a couple fills it will sound pretty wonderful. I can't remember exactly what it was, but from recollection I think you were playing both a B minor and the F sharp minor.

    I think.

    Anyways, if so, try looking into the scale of D and applying it over the fret board. That's where you'll find the building blocks that will help construct layers. I don't know if you are aware of any theory, so I didn't mean for that to sound condescending if you did!

    Good luck, anyways! If you ever want to chat or need any help with any theory, feel free to ask.
     
  10. fondfarewell

    fondfarewell Member

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    Almost, it's an F sharp major and a B major. But yeah, I think just a couple of riffs or what not over the chords should really add a lot to the song. As well as drums. Looking forward to CC's track. I'm pretty awful at the drums. I'm gonna give it a shot as I'd prefer to do it all by myself. But if I do end up using CC's drum track I'll definitely credit him.

    And I know a little about theory, but not much. I know my the major and minor scales but not much past that. This song is not a very good representation of my playing abilities. Although I'm not too good at the electric. I've only recently acquired one and am loving it but still need a lot of work before I can "shred".

    I'm much more into acoustic stuff, mostly fingerpicking. I've been playing the acoustic for almost 12 years now but I still have much to learn. I'd love to chat with you imaginary, i can always talk about music.
     
  11. Charlisangel

    Charlisangel Member

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    add some pianos rhodes or maybe some organ....or some electric guitar bluesy line.

    and your voice need to be mixed louder. You sound like Kurt cobain, i like it.

    but it totaly need something more. almost there dude!
     
  12. fondfarewell

    fondfarewell Member

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