I slept with a prostitute and my girlfriend is pregnant

no one will want to be with a 23 year old with 2 kids, she will be on her own.

How is making sure we dont break up being a dick? It's not.... and to be honest we probably wouldnt break up but then she will just cry and cry, so i'm saving her from that. I dont see how thats being a dick...

 

its not a dysfunctional relatioship, it's fine. We both do what we want, I work and dont want her working and she doesnt go out much but she likes to make things and she has our son and the house and looking after us, she actually likes doing stuff like making me drinks etc, its not like I make her she just likes doing it, and with another on the way it will give her more to do and I do my own thing. We're not dysfunctional, it works, I just have some problems but at least I admit I have a problem and i'm trying to do something about it!

And maybe she'd feel guilty for awhile but at the end of the day i'd make her feel better n tell her its not her fault its her cousins fault and she would learn to live with it like she did with it happening in the first place. Im not saying ill definitely do that but it just seems like it would be a better thing to do than say i cheated and have her cry over that.
The only alternative is to get checked on my own like someone said every so often or tell her, n telling her would make her feel worse and I cant make her feel better from that but I can make her feel better if she thought it was her

 

You are right! You really are a prince and I just did not get it. Instead, I think you are delusional.

If anything was wrong with the baby she would have guilt for the rest of her life, guilt that is not hers. You assume it will somehow make her feel better to think that it is all her fault.

The behaviour and reasoning you have is only beneficial to you. No one else.

Your assumption that at her age with 2 children, who else but you would want her.

I hope she has an opportunity to find out.

 

Even though you wore a condom it is possible you could have a thai baby on the way.

 

Sorry Gee, but you would lose by admitting it. You might not lose her physical presence coz she sounds too screwed up already to stand up for herself and leave you, but every time you hurt her you are losing her love, trust, attraction, and respect - the shit that makes U guy's lovers instead of acquaintances. I am not surprised tho that this has clearly not occured to you.

I think you are in major head in the sand denial tho. You say she was fine when you got together, ... and now she has no self esteem to speak of, ...and you dont think despite this change occuring whilst in a relationship with you, that you played any part in that at all? You know you effect her with this behaviour, ... dont try to decide for her what limit that is to coz it makes you feel better to not acknowledge the extent of the repercussions of your actions. Tell yourself what ever you like, ..but you're fucking her up whether you are ready to admit that to yourself or not.

Having her self esteem worn away did not just ooops, happen. The guy she loves and whom she has not agreed to an open relationship with, keeps putting her feelings and worthiness last on the agenda by cheating on her, which sends the clear message that she is not being valued, respected, or held in high regard as a person. Then the poor silly woman, coz she is so blindly head over heels for you, tolerates this behaviour rather than losing you, ... which then makes her feel even shitter coz she knows deep down, that now, not only is she accepting you disrespecting her, ... she is also now disrespecting herself by giving the message that it is ok to do this to her and get away with it with little repercussion. Wicked little snowball by this point.

Add to that the unfortunate rape incident, ... and who may I ask is telling this woman in word or deed that she is beautiful, incredible, and deserving of so much more? All she see's is people disrespecting her whether lover or rapist, which has fucked with her head to the point she now herself questions if she truly is worthy of better?, ..and sadly, right now, she is telling herself NO!

....and you had nothing to do with this?

yeah, right

 

If I tell her she will be upset, and I really can do without her being even more emotional than she already is and it won't do any good telling her. I'll try go during work or something. Is there any confidential clinics?[/QUOTE]

Umm...so then WHY did you sleep with a prostitute! It sounds like you're just waiting to hear what you want...everyone has said if YOU have it, by default your BABY has it! Get checked out! Would you rather risk your gf being upset you cheated on her or upset your baby's deformed? Hate to be brutally honest, but hey.

 

Dude, you are an asshole. Remove yourself from your lady's and baby's life before you ruin them. give financial support and leave them the fuck alone. you are scum.

 

DICK! You're an asshole. You cheated on the mother of your child and then got her pregnant again.

If you can't keep your dick in your pants then why not leave and save her all the hurt.

I always tell my husband, i don't care if you cheat on me just don't lie to me. Lying is the worst. If you want to cheat then let me know and leave first. I don't need a cheater around.

I hope you didn't give your un-born baby and your GF any STDs. You may not care about ruining your life but don't ruin theirs.

 

You're selfish and disgusting and no way father material. Tell her and gtfo of there, for your son or daughters sake. Their life is in danger because you're a spineless coward

 

The sad thing is someone is probably going to come on in support of this guy now to try and "balance" this thread because he's being "flamed", so the idiot will feel he's justified and not bother with it again Hope I'm wrong about that.

 

And I hate to tell you, but there are decent men out there who may fall in love with this lady, and love the kids too. You really have an inflated opinion of yourself.

 

I've read 2 pages of this shit and I can't take any more.

Mate, if you cared about protecting her feelings you wouldn't have cheated on her. See that's the magical way you can not upset her. Not by dishonesty, by actions.

I believe that you seriously think you are acting in her beat interests, the best liars lie to themselves. You fact is that you don't like the guilt of upsetting her. I you care about her you should own up.

And perhaps think about letting her in on the fact you can't help it and talk about having an open relationship or something and let her decide if she wants that or wants to find someone else. That would be putting your hand up and taking responsibility.

I was on your side at first, in a way. I thought what you did was wrong but the resposes were a bit harsh but like I said I could only stand your denial of yourself for 2 pages before I'd had enough.

You say she was fine before you guys got together... Isn't that saying something?? You say thy makes it not your fault, but like u said, before u came along she was fine... Having the person you love cheat on you can tend to hit your self confidence levels. Shea probably broken and numb inside and has blamed herself for your cheating. You should remind her it's your inadequacy that's the problem not her- cos u cared about her so much I'm site u always remind her of that.

And you say in the moment you just think 'this is gonna feel so good' and not anything else, but buying a prostitute isn't exactly in the moment, in the heat of passion, is it. Even when these thing happen in the moment, you have to ask yourself how you got that far, and the things you should avoid to not put yourself in that position. If you are getting too close to a friend, take the friendship back a step or take a break from it or something, don't just wait and see how far it goes till you had to decide in the heat of a moment whether to do the right thing or not.

Anyway, I think you should get all the tests done, don't endanger her first and foremost, then really have a look at yourself and own up to everything, you know that is the hard thing to do, not the easy way. And consider a relationship therapist who can help you both, particularly your gf who is clearly feeling the affects of your behavior. Don't let her get so used to her problems that she thinks that just how life is. With a baby on the way it's just going to get harder for her...

There will always be debate about how we are supposed to behave in relationships. Different religions have different ideas, different people have different ideas. Some people don't believe that humans are meant to have sex with only one person, some believe you shouldn't have sex with one. But through all the discussion I have heard and read about peoples ideas on relationships and sex, the one constant has been that honesty is the most important thing. Whether u wanna marry 5 women or not, if you are honest and they all want that too, you're laughing. Dishonesty is the worst betrayal of all, IMO.

Ps society might not officially say that cheating on a partner is abusive, but I'm sure anyone has felt it before would probably disagree. To do so constantly knowing (or thinking) your partner won't take action, yet knowing it hurts them, sound pretty abusive to me. But that's a matter of opinion I guess.

Good luck to you both with everything, particularly with your child coming. Hope you sort things out.

 

Nope

Before pushing the thread still further into the drama department, you (all who reacted) may want to consider a couple of things

This forum is about sexual health, the question was simple.

What more did the OP ask for ?

 

You will find out if there are any complications with your baby through routine scans. It's different case by case, so no one can assure you here. If you were safe I don't see how anything can be wrong, but circumstances can occur for a number of reasons. I wish you and your child well.

As for sleeping with a prostitute. Fuck it. Seriously, anybody who tells you otherwise just haven't done it yet

people who say, 'oh woah is me, I hate cheaters' are either ugly or have obviously not had the chance to meet someone attractive enough to sway their judgement. Everybody is capable of cheating, everybody has their price.

 

If you wore a condom and it didn't break, and you have no symptoms, you are probably fine. There's some risk of herpes and possibly certain bacterial std's. Going to a clinic and getting checked out is a good idea. And getting a test for HIV six months after you slept with the hooker is important because I think HIV takes six months to be detected. Unless you had anal sex with the hooker and the condom got a tear in it, it is unlikely that you have HIV. Female to male transmission of HIV through vaginal sex is not that common, especially if you wore a condom.

I think your medical records are private, and in any case it's not worth it to not get tested because you're afraid she'll find out.

I'm not going to make any judgements here, other than that "guy who cheats on his girlfriend and at least gets tested for STD's" is better than "guy who cheats and doesn't get tested". Good for you for getting tested.


Hope that you, your girlfriend, and your baby are all healthy and safe.

 

Just get tested, then sit her down and tell her. You might want to mention that you love her, and that this was just sex and nothing more.

 

Get tested.

If you are clean, do not tell her. Would her knowing make her happier? Would her knowing make the pregnancy easier? Would her knowing help or hinder your being together until the kid is grown?

Don't do it again.

 

uhhh no cheating is wrong if you say you want to be with a one person then you be with one person END OF STORY!

 

Ah, just let this thread rest in peace, my friend. At this point he's probably already slept with 12 more prostitutes.

 

It's likely been said, but thread is TL;DR. Condoms are indeed made of polymers (on a microscopic level, like Swiss cheese), so there is an elevated risk compared to abstinence. That said, it's pretty minimal, and it's much harder to contract an STD from a biological female than a biological male. Anal sex is the most risky behavior, followed by vaginal, followed by oral. Your chances are pretty low if everything you said is factual.

That being said, you should go get STD testing and counseling. They can advise you way better than nursing students on the internet, and it's always a good idea when you've engaged in even slightly risky sexual behavior.