For those of you who didn't read my last two bisexual posts, you're missing out let me tell you! But here's the summary: Met two guys at college. Kevin and David. They are hot. I'm a virgin. They invited me to a threesome. I said no, because I'm in a straight relationship with a girl and because I had just met them that night. They had just met two days earlier and had already had sex. They had sex again that night. Kevin and I have been hanging out a lot since then. We spent the night together just talking about everything. He says he doesn't want a relationship with David. He says he wants to be with me. I'm enjoying every minute of his sweet talking and stuff, but he could be playing me. He knows I have a girlfriend, and I've seen him flirt with David. Something might be shady here. What do you think? Is there a way to tell? Is there some way to figure it all out?
im new to this but a year ago i was a player and if i was in his shoes id say hes playin and just tryin 2 fuck cuz u said no the last time but thats just me.
you've only just met him --how long ago again? give it time, see where it goes. he might just want to have some fun with you. or he might have a crush. you're young, you're free, anything can happen. and i don't have enough information to tell you what his intentions might be. i haven't met him. i don't know what he's like. to assess somebody's intentions usually takes an analysis of specific behavior, details of how somebody does/says something. i don't have that. the general "sweet-talking-and-stuff" doesn't say anything about anybody.
By the sounds of it the only thing straight about your relationship is your girlfriend, and that we arent even sure of. You accuse this Kevin guy of playing you when he knows if anything happens you'd be playing your girlfriend. Any type of "oh,its not cheating if they've got the same genitals" type thinking only exists in your head, stuff you've convinced yourself is true, to make it ok This Kevin guy might be with lots of guys, he make look like a player to you, but if from his angle, none of the guys he gets with have girlfriends, then you to him are the bad guy Its not gay/bi/straight issues you are dealing with, its open vs closed relationships You want to play on both sides of the fence, your girlfriend needs to be ok with it, and from what I've seen in my lifetime, that only works if: A)The girl has a higher libido than the guy (is allowed to have something on the side herself), B)Is bi herself and each partners extra curricular activities are limited to the same sex C)The girl is at that very bottom of the libido scale, doesnt care for sex, lets the partner go elsewhere to get them off her back Theres an economy there, she lets you get with guys, she has to get something of equal value in return And despite everyones bullshit, those type of situations are far more common than you think, just no one talks about it out loud. Even you own parents, you would have no idea if they had an arrangement their entire marriage, mom had girlfriends, dad had boyfriends. Not only would you have no idea, as their kid you would be the very last person theyd talk to about it As for you and Kevin, if he's hot, a lot of other guys are going to hit on him
Thanks for the advice thus-far everyone. Still trying to decipher the situation. I should probably mention that my girlfriend and I are on a break. We decided it would be best for a little while as we're in colleges in different states. This way, we have the option to explore a bit (neither of us has really dated others much..me at all). But he doesn't know that we're on a break. As far as he knows, he's trying to be with a guy who's with someone else. We were talking last night, and he said that he loved me. I dodged. We just met on the 10th! Something strange is going on here. It's like he's changing. He's not talking about sex and stuff. He's just being sweet. Either he's really good at playing, really bad at playing, or just honest. I just don't know. How much time would you waste on someone who you were playing? We spent like 8 straight hours in my dorm just talking! He calls me things like "sweet prince" and I'm just freaking confused about it all. I'm still posting in the bisexual forum because I don't know if the feelings that I have for guys is concrete and because life right now is just pure orientation confusion. so confused. Vanilla, sorry I didn't explain more before. PRoXik, I hope you can give me some info on what to look out for. Thanks again.
I'd be wary of him saying he loves you if he's still flirting with the other guy. And I think him trying to get with you when you're with someone else is wrong, he should let you and your gf run your course. but if you're on a break maybe you should use the chance to see how it feels with a guy. if you don't like it you've still got your girl. if you do, then you can spend time with him and see if he is genuine or not. good luck hun xxx
He thinks you're taken and is trying to get with you, which means he doesn't respect others: he's trouble If he thinks he's in love already: he's trouble If he just told you he loves you because he wants to get with you: he's trouble If it just slipped out cause he has really strong feeling for you: he's still probably trouble As far as whether he's playing you or not - obviously, if you can't read the signs, to report the signs to us, we can't see the signs =P
"sweet prince"? lol. that's just sappy. I'd say if someone who's known you for just a couple of weeks says he loves you, he's either really naive or...something else. The bigger question here is--what do you want to happen with him? If you want to get it on with him then go from there. If you want him just as a friend remind him of that. Or maybe you're not that confused about what his intentions might be, but about what it is that you want to happen? Make that clear to yourself and you'll know what to do.
I 1c spent a month and acted as tho i was in love its honestly not hard but Lurd private msg me some time il tlk 2 u more on how 2 tell
That is a scary thing though, to know that someone could be pretending for so long and that it's not difficult to deceive someone. Really scary. But I'm playing it by ear, staying highly aware. It only goes where I want it to go.
Well you are in a relationship, so really I think you're playing yourself? If you just like him that's no reason to cheat on your girlfriend and if you are starting to like him more than break up with your girlfriend because you don't know if you're ready to commit? Not trying to be a bitch just think about your feelings and hers. He can try to play you all he wants but it won't happen if you're serious with your gf.
As it turned out, i was just imagining things. He was just too perfect to be true, and that's why I was afraid. He actually is perfect after-all. What a relief and a god-send. The Perfect Guy. And I am so lucky to have met him.
For real......and this is just my opinion....do you want to be with somebody who would have sex with somebody they met only 3 days before and who would then invite another person to have a threesome like 2 days later? If you are looking for sex, go for it. But, if you are more interested in having an emotional connection with somebody who cares about you and respects you in addition to being attracted to you then hmm........I dont know. Overall, however, being willing to have sex right away doesnt always mean somebody would be a cheater or anything like that but you said you have seen him flirt withthis other guy and the fact that you are asking us what we think indicates that you are unsure. This is not the last opportunity you will have to enter a relationship with a guy. There are other people out there. Also, think about diseases. If this guy is hooking up with multiple partners all willy nilly he might not be the safest person to start seeing.
As much as everyone likes to pretend otherwise, there arent the same set of rules when it comes to the same sex, especially the three date rule. A guy wont respect you if you put out before the third date? (or whatever your number is) - Guys; Straight, Bi or Gay, they dont even really understand what you mean by respect. Bi and Gay girls will understand what you mean, but they dont have to train their same sex partners
well, he explained quite a bit. apparently, david was the second person that kevin ever had sex with. And he was just confused. We have an emotional connection that goes so far beyond anything that i ever thought possible. He can read my mind. i can actually tell him things in my head, and he listens. it is so very, very strange. don't even begin to understand it. We're the same person, just from opposite sides of the country. Turns out that i knew him through the internet before college too. doesn't even make sense how this happened, but we found each other, and although i keep trying to convince myself that there's no way that life could be this perfect, that things can turn out good in the end, they actually might in this case. They actually might.
