I'm a dude, virgin, bi. The girl I'm with is also bi but unlike me she is not a virgin. She has had many partners, men, women, all ages, etc. She has also done heroin but been clean for a year. I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about STDs/Hep/HIV/ etc. I plan on asking her of course before we sleep together but should I ask her to get tested as well? Any discrete, sensitive way I could phrase that question?
Your concern is legitimate. It has less to do with her past and more to do with the sound attitude you have towards yourself and your own health. Mention that you test regularly and ask her if she does the same, too. If she knows that you are a virgin, simply state your concern. A responsible adult will understand it. A walking bio-hazard won't. Regardless of what the outcome may be, use condoms and avoid any high-risk behavior. Having sex is one thing. Dealing with the consequences of someone's irresponsibility is quite another. KD
Absolutely! Anyone with a history of high-risk behavior like IV drug use or unprotected sex should get tested regularly so they know their status. It is not an insult to ask, so long as you approach it gently. Tell her you're concerned about STDs and require all your partners to be tested before engaging in sexual activities. Virgin or not, you can still get tested with her to make it less about her and more about both of you. Couples get tested together all the time, and it can even be a bonding experience. Don't make any references to her past behavior, just state that you don't feel 100% comfortable having sex without getting tested first. You want your first time to be great, right? Well it won't be if you spend it fighting off nagging fears of catching a life-threatening disease. Probably won't be too great for her, either. As long as you approach it as a health issue and not a moral judgment, she should have no objections if she really cares for your well-being...and her own.
