Most of my dreams are pretty lame, most have a very negative overtone or they are repeats of one of three childhood nightmares. The ones with negative overtones aren't bad per se but still leave me creepy dark low feeling. The repeating childhood nightmares are terrifying, just as terrifying as they always have been but morning after I usually shrug it off and forget about it. Last night or should I say this morning right before waking up I had a nasty one. I am still quite shook up over it. The dream started with me jerking off to gay pornography, I then came all over my pants. I hurried to the bathroom to clean myself up. Upon entering the bathroom I found my dad had hung himself from the light fixture. I slapped him and yelled at him to wake up, adrenaline fueled panic kicked in, all I could do was scream, I then woke up.
That sounds like a perfectly dreadful dream. I feel like I would need to know a lot more about your life and your feelings to really interpret it. Dreams that involve gay pornography are probably usually pretty easy to figure out. If you find gay pornography appealing in waking life, they can be about wish fulfillment or just a replay of your thoughts and activities during the day. I can't help but wonder if this dream has to do with some negative feelings about sexuality. Your father's suicide in the dream makes me wonder about your relationship with him. Did the two of you have any conflicts about your sexuality--gay or otherwise? Maybe you might have felt that if he had known more about what you were up to or thinking about--gay or otherwise--that there would have been serious problems?
