So I figured, what better place to ask girl advice than SL? lol. Also, this shits long. Sry! Basically there's a girl i met. W've hung out 3 times now. Last weekend I went to the beach (SeaSide, NJ lol) with her and her college friends so we've done more than just the movie night deal. But, I haven't had a girlfriend for about 5 years. All my relationships have been one night stands, fu*k buddy type of deals. Some long term but never officially a "relationship". (Had a bad breakup fresh year of college with high school sweet heart. Swore off dating. I know..very immature!). So we met through a friend at a club. We hit it off and I expected it to be another fun time and thats all. Well, we've hung out a few times now. We get along pretty well. Have good chemistry etc. BUT, here's the thing. She is as straight edge as they come. Didn't have a drink till she turned 21. Barely partied in college. (She's a electrical engineer now working at a Power Plant..ridiculous). Never smoked a cigarette or weed ever. Nothing. Literally nothing, ever. isn't a fan of tattoos or piercings etc. She also is...here it comes...a virgin. And, strict Roman Catholic. At the beach on Sunday, she set an alarm, woke up and went to 9am church she found by asking the front desk. She never misses church nor does her family. Also, this was after a night of total mayhem partying. (Yes, she occasionally drinks. Talk about double-standards lol). So to shorten my point, I'm the antithesis of her lifestyle. I smoke pot and cigs, drink, not a virgin, have tattoos, and closer to atheist than any religion. The thing is, I'm into this girl and am considering going for it, growing a sac, and dating her. But how can two people on such different levels ever work? I guess any criticisms, advice, or related stories are welcome. Oh and btw, she invited me to her house tomorrow. Yep, meeting the parents. Should be an adventure. Definitely not smoking tomorrow lol.
What a trip man, I've gone your situation man kinda and it worked the second time better than the first when you wouldn't have expected it too.
you have to talk to her about it. you really like her, you want to give it a shot, but you need to know that she is open minded enough to accept you as you are, and you have to accept her as she is. she cannot make you go to church (i explain to family that i refuse to insult their religion by going to their church as an unbeliever. i believe its a sacrilege and rude to fake it) with communication, and open mindedness you can make such a relationship work. be a gentleman when you meet her parents, and if awkward (ie religion) subjects come up, you can say that you prefer not to discuss your faith, or lack thereof. if they press, be honest. if they press, they asked for it. as long as you dont come off as anti-theist you should be ok, if they are impressed with the rest of your behavior. its not likely to be an easy relationship to maintain, but i dont have all the details. good luck, and be true to yourself. dont say anything you'll regret later.
Mothers Love has some good advise. It'll never work if you two dont accept eachother as you are. Ive also seen a lot of girls like that date a "bad boy" just too see what its like or whatever. I usually dont push relationships, or make it all formal. If I meet someone I like I just let it flow and see what happens.
If it gets to the stage where you two are getting serious, you gotta make sure she knows all about who you are, honesty is at the core of any good relationship. Also, a lot of these "straight edge" girls actually want a rough and ready kind of guy.
If you are ok with her lifestyle and she is ok with yours, why not? If you both have similar morals and ideals, none of that stuff matters unless you disagree strongly with how she conducts herself/ she disagrees with you. I've been in relationships though where I am the church goer and my partners were all atheists and heavy drug users, and they use to give me a lot of shit and it caused tension. As long as there is a mutual level of respect, you guy will be fine
I would ask myself why I like this girl. If it's just physical, you may want to rethink things. Also, it is important to think about whether you will judge her for her choices and whether she will judge you for yours. Relationships are about mutual respect, admiration, and communication. They are a lot of work, and you never stop working on it. If she's worth it, go for it.
If you want her, go for it. Personally, I would lose interest right when I found out she woke up to go to church after "total mayhem partying" the night before. That's pretty laughable and it would be tough not giving her a hard time over it.
