How do you stand up to pro-spanking attitudes?

Long story short, there was a 20-minute discussion in my class about how important spanking is and if your kid's still not behaving, well you're just not hitting them hard enough. All prompted by my teacher talking about starting to spank her son who is 18 MONTHS OLD. Still a BABY. I spoke up a little, but was immediately completely blown off by the entire class. My hands were shaking so hard I had to put down my crocheting, which I do in class during lectures. One person actually said ANY psychologist will say that spanking's a good thing. Uh, no, it's actually the exact opposite.

How do you stand up to that? I only know a couple of people that don't spank. Most people around here think it's either spanking or letting the kids run wild. There's no in between in their minds, spanking is the one and only form of discipline that exists. I'm completely ignored when I speak up. "I only spank my kids when they deserve it!" "I was spanked and I turned out ok!" "Spanking is the only thing my kid listens to!"

How do we begin to change the tide of violence when people are so determined that they close their minds to any arguments and dismiss anything that might change their minds? Why do so many people think it's ok to hit kids???

 

I wouldn't take much to the words of somebody who claims to know what every psychologist has to say on a given matter. This ordeal really is only subject to opinion though. Some people see nothing wrong with using spanking as a disciplinary tactic, some do. Out of curiosity, how exactly would you respond to - "Spanking is the only thing my kid listens to!" So if that's the case, what would you do anyway? (what would you recommend for those of us who can't see the gray?)

 

My response to that is if that's the only thing your kid listens to, it's because you've taught him that you're not serious until then. I don't hit my kid and he listens to me because he knows the consequences of his actions and he knows I'll follow through. If all you do is scream at your kid and hit him when he doesn't listen, he knows you're not at the breaking point until you lash out and he knows that there are no consequences until you hit him. In my experience, most people don't question spanking, so they don't try anything else. Kids are learning and they're testing their limits. If the one and only consequence is getting smacked, they're going to keep doing what they're doing until they get smacked because that's the limit.

 

And what are the consequences of his actions that you deem as "inappropriate"?

 

Depends on the action. Certainly hitting him is not the appropriate response to any behavior. He might lose a privilege, go in time out, or have to do extra chores. We try to follow the principles of natural consequences, so it relates to what he did. Hitting doesn't teach him exactly what was unacceptable about his behavior, why it was unacceptable, or what to do instead. All it teaches is that violence is ok when you're mad, it's ok to bully weaker people into submission, and the only was to get control is through fear. None of those are lessons I want to teach my child.

 

You sound like you have a lot of fair idea's on the matter, I don't see how they could possibly be shutting you out in a group discussion in a college class (I'm assuming) of all places?