I must have a "bad picker." I get my hopes up most of the time when I'm getting to know a female I'm attracted to. Which could mean that I'm placing unrealistic expectations on myself and others, in turn leaving me feeling pretty fucking shitty when these fantasies don't go my way.. you know? "The One" I don't think God wants me to be with anyone at the moment. I've tried to get to know so many in the past number of months and with some they just stop talking to me. They think they are telepathic and that I know exactly what they are thinking, but I don't. See, when it comes time for them to start ignoring me they are sending the message via TELEPATHY, "You're a really special guy and all but I don't really like you that way.." Somewhere along the lines the message doesn't ever make it to me, either it's her wireless router or mine, I haven't found any brainwave electrician to fix my brain-mail.. because they don't fucking exist! You know all a person has to do is just speak a couple words, but instead I get treated like I don't exist. This has happened a lot as well with male friends in the past, completely block me out of their life/memory. With all the good happening in my life you would think that I could look past a few people who want absolutely nothing to do with me anymore, but it fucking hurts. I'm moving to France next summer and I told myself I don't want to get involved with anyone prior to my moving. Lo and behold I did, it was the start of a relationship and this particular female has been to France many times and is fluent in the language, wanted to move with me. So we were getting to know each other and July 7th I had to leave to go on vacation with my mother, a cruise in the Caribbean. Seven day cruise but I'd be gone a week still after that, staying with my grandparents. I could not use my phone on the cruise and I was telling her that, shit costs about 10 dollars a minute to use the phone. So I didn't like the way I had to leave things, the relationship being so fresh that it barely even formed at all, and even more not being able to even talk on the phone. But I did think to myself, if nothing lovely sprouts out from the two of us it is good that we weren't really heavily involved with each other. Well I really was anxious to get off the cruise ship and when I did and got to the car I checked my voice mail, one was from her saying to call me right when I get off the ship and that she has something ridiculous to tell me but she can't say it on the voice mail because she wants to hear my reaction. I called her back, left a couple voice mails that day, and still haven't heard from her. Tomorrow I'll be back in my hometown, completely done with this long vacation. It is not a big deal if someone doesn't want to be with me, the lack of communication between people these days is fucking disgusting, god dammit just say a couple words. Can't even message me on FaceBook or something stupid like that. I get my hopes up unrealistically, this is my fault. Anyways I don't know, I just really do not like being ignored.
Perhaps the girl has something great to say...? Be patient with folks and be patient with yourself. People who make it a point to be "stuck up" and ignore you are simply not worth the bother. In the big picture they're doing you a favor. For me the battle has first been simply me learning to be perfectly happy alone. It's also a good idea not to place any expectations on people as that is a recipe for disappointment and can place undue pressure on others to "live up" to their end of a deal that hasn't been disclosed to them. This works for friends as well as potential relationships. Patience will allow you to see who shows genuine concern and is worth the time to get to know..
Yes they are definitely doing me a favor. I do quite well alone, but obviously I'm not 100% comfortable with myself yet, it is a process. Yeah, it's hard when it is my thinking that needs to be changed. It isn't like changing a light bulb, that's easy. I really have to do some major work to change unhealthy patterns of thinking. Fortunately I don't have a problem working towards a healthier mind.
I'm glad you dont have a problem working on yourself, (we are all eternally progressing) coz I do think you need to analyze why it is people literally stop speaking to you coz something is not quite right there. What are you doing that is scaring them off to that degree? You dont have to answer that (can if want tho) it is more so something to ponder for yourself. And I am not even suggesting you are doing anything 'wrong' per se`, ... sometimes it just takes us women a while to figure out that while we like to play with the bad boys, it is the good guys that we take home to keep, ..and that my friend is what I think your biggest problem is, ... you are too nice and too far spiritually evolved for the avg girl of your own age. (yes, you are - even tho that means you will have to by default deny it lol) And you know what happens to nice guys?, ... they make nice friends. I'm going on a hunch here, and I may be way off base, but would I be wrong if I said you open up to people very easily and they find the 'depth' of you a bit quirky? Also thinking you might come across a bit 'smothering' for some. Not in a stalker creepy kinda way, ... but that your openess and desire to connect with the 'core' of people (faster than most others are comfortable with) can make some feel a bit intimdated/uncomfortable. Lay off that shit if so, .. keep more of yourself (or your thought proceses more specifically) a mystery and let it slowly unravel. If you really wanna just score, as backwards as it sounds, be less of a nice guy, ... but if you ask me, I would say don't change a thing, ...someone with a brain and values will come along sooner or later that will be just right for you. Anyway, overall, I think your biggest prob is that you are ahead of the ball game for your age group. I dunno, ..maybe go Cougar hunting
There's some good advice being given here. If people are avoiding you or ignoring, it's might well be like Ivana was saying - you're showing too much of yourself too soon and wanting to get too close to them. Be patient as Stinkfoot suggested. I am old as dirt - but when I was your age there wasn't much female action AT ALL. I don't know why - but by 22 I really had all the companionship I needed. I've found that with lots of guys - for some reason things kinda free up.
I have found the reason women don't say anything and vanish is because they don't like confrontation, some guys get angry so it’s just better to vanish.
Get on with other aspects of your life, nothing sexier than a guy who's not looking! When i was 19 i remember it was tuff time- everthing changes, this makes you really value her when she does finally appear... good friends can we cool about the fact you find them attractive, just dont be a sleaze, make a joke of it shrug it off and forget it about that girl as a lover.. theres many circles to explore of friends if you lose a few along the way, make some new ones.... Have fun xxx
