So I'm not sure if I'm straight, bi, or gay. I'll list how I feel about each sex and you guys tell me what you think. By the way I'm 19 and a virgin. Males: - attracted only to guys with a similar body type as mine - "bear men" - guys who are not bear are a huge turn off - I would perform oral sex on a bear type guy, and vice versa - I would NOT engage in anal sex...not into it at all. Same goes for rimming - I can't see my self kissing a man, doesn't turn me on - basically into oral sex with guys and that's it - can't see my self married to a guy - think of guys as more as sex buddies - more about the body than the personality - two bear men going down on each other turns me on - a video of a man stripping will sometimes turn me on - attracted to mens faces, bodies, and a hard penis will turn me on Women - the pretty ones bring a smile to my face - naked woman don't always turn me on (this has to do with me viewing hardcore porn and being turned off by it due to the way woman are treated) - a video of a woman stripping doesn't turn me on (not sure if I'd get turned on if it was for real right in front of me. I know for sure I'd enjoy alot of body contact though) - the only "action" I've gotten is when I did an ultrasound. The doctor was young and attractive, and as soon as she spread the gel around my belly I got an erection - I can see my self married to a woman - I love certain types of woman, i want to commit my self to that special someone and make her a big part of my life - I've had crushes whom i cant stop thinking about in a non sexual way - lesbian porn doesn't turn me on - more about the personality than the body - attracted to women's faces (note: I'm not sure if I'm attracted to boobs and vaginas because i've never touched any, which is why I'm unsure of my sexuality. Reading about a vagina turns me on though, but just seeing one on video doesn't) - I don't have a good imagination, so I think that's why I don't always get turned on by a naked woman, where as i get turned on by men with the same bodies as me since I have that body - I get turned on by my body, which is why I find other men with same bodies hot. If an attractive man and woman walked by, I'd stare at the man because I'd think "I want that body" and have dirty thoughts. As for the woman I'd think "I want to get to know her" with a smile. Is this because I've never been with a woman and have no idea how it feels to kiss and have sex? I also get very nervous around attractive woman AND men, but way more around woman. - since I have a body and penis, I can get turned on by them. I have no idea how a kiss, boobs, or a vagina would feel like So ya that's pretty much it. You can probably tell I'm confused. Sorry if i repeated my self! I don't watch hardcore porn. I watch homemade porn, more gay than straight since straight porn is harder to find (I enjoy a bear type man with an attractive woman). So as a virgin I'm confused...do you think things will be clearer when I have sex? I mean I'm a naturally curious guy. I want to have sex with a woman, I want explore every inch of her body. With a guy I want to explore just the front haha. Just for some reason guys make me more horny and give me erections. I mean I'm more visually stimulated by a penis than I am with a vagina. But I think i've figured out why I can't get turned on by a naked woman: I can't see my self with one. It is much easier to do hookups with a guy, get a blowjob, and go about your day. However it's very different with woman...so since I can't see a woman go down on me I can't get an erection. But I can see my self with a man (the only thing I've down with a man is a blowjob) I get very turned on by it. Does that make sense or am I still confused and crazy? Thanks guys
Greetings, well, first of all, if you already had oral sex with a man, you're no longer a virgin - contrary to what a certain ex-US-president wanted everyone to believe, a blowjob is sex. Period. The way you describe it, people would most likely place the "bi-curious gay male" label onto you - that is, if you're looking for a label to put onto you or a drawer to fit into. However, that isn't a fixed or static thing - the pendulum might swing the other way, as soon as you had the chance to explore a woman's body and have her explore yours... at your age, the voyage is just beginning. Enjoy the ride. Wiggling bare toes, ~*Ganesha*~
Nope. You are neither confused nor crazy. You are 19. Take a deep breath, cool down a bit and start exploring your sexuality. Do what feels right, and act accordingly. Dispense with your preconceived ideas based on your thoughts and reactions to the porn you have been watching. Life is very different from porn. I agree with you "It is much easier to do hookups with a guy, get a blowjob, and go about your day." Yet if you really have a desire to try it with a woman, you'll go into the dating and you'll get to try just as all the other guys do. If you like it, and you figure out that it is worth your while, you'll go for it. If not, you'll sexuality will take you somewhere else. Most importantly, do not waste any of your time on trying to choose a particular label for yourself at the age of 19. You are now exploring, discovering, having fun and doing what you feel like doing. Soon, a pattern, based upon what you enjoy and what works for you will emerge and you'll stay with it. KD
Ya i guess you're right. Curiousity got the best of me and I decided to relieve my self with a hookup since it was easier than a female hookup. Thanks for the pendulum thing...I needed to hear that. Thinking about it, I started first by fantasizing about woman. Then I got into bear men, and then bear men and woman, now it's more bear men. Like you said - when I get the chance to explore a woman and find out how kissing and intercourse feels like I'll know for sure. I'm just very anxious I guess. By the way I'm giving up porn to see how I feel. Thank you! I'd like to hear more opinions by the way!
Wow needed to hear that too. You see everyone in my family (including the extended family) are religious. I'm the only open minded "atheist" so as you can imagine i have no one to talk to. This relates to dating, seeing how it's a sin in they're religion. I respect my parents too much to break the rules, but lately I have been doing what feels right (blowjob from guy). I HAVE to find someone within the religion, so I need to find someone who is secretly against like myself. Marrying outside the religion would mean all family relations are cut off. See my dilemma? And I'm sure this relates to my situation here. And like I said I'm stopping porn viewing because like you said, I'm sure the real thing is different and I would feel differently.
I agree with previous comments....you are still young and in the experimental stage and that's how it should be! sometimes it's not always cut and dry, especially with sexuality. the only person's business it is, is yours. you should continue to find yourself...not just sexually, but in every way, and know to love yourself no matter what be curious, experiment...you are young and free and it is your right! keep doing what makes you happy and feel good before you place a label on yourself...or if you must, i would just say that you are "open minded". also, don't let other people's negativity altar your decisions [even your family]...remember, it's not their life, it's yours and you're the one who has to live it...so live it to the fullest good luck and much love<3
I just don't get why I'm only emotionally attracted to woman. I hope that changes, even though I can't visualize a situation and get turned on it whereas with a man I can. I'm assuming it's all the gay porn...so in giving up porn to see what that does. Thanks for input though I totally agree with you. I guess I'm just anxious, because I want to be turned on by a woman since some take my breath away and want them to be a part of my life.
Hey, I'm in a similar position. If you are attracted to the female form and the male form, but not the female genitalia, then it might be an issue of familiarity. You've got a penis, you've got an anus, those are familiar, comfortable, and easy to eroticize. Vaginas (sans-contact), less so. As a "Masculinized" dude, I sometimes find myself sexually interested in that which I sexually want to be. It's cool, pursue what options are available to you. Other than than, not much advice, just know that you are not alone.
I pretty much agree with that I have never kissed a guy before and really don't have the desire to just the thought of kissing a man and feeling the facial hair just doesn't do anything for me. I have giving oral and I enjoyed it but the rimming thing never did it and not into that. I have thought about anal and I could give it not sure about receiving it who knows might try it one day. but like others said take a breath and go with life and see where it takes you. I have been curious for many years and just recently gave oral and I licked his balls and sucked on them and it was everything I thought it would be. I have always wanted to give oral to my friend of many years and thought about it and on a camping trip finally got to do it and it felt good. good luck with your curiosity
I agree! If anyone asks you about your sexual orientation, you can either tell them you do what feels right to you or it's none of their business!
LOL, here we go noname, its all bullshit, you got to learn to translate all the bullshit: 1. Its easier to get a male hookup than a female hookup? Not for some guys. Guys will say stuff like that, that its easier to get a male hookup. Whereas girls will say stuff like "Oh, a guy that looks like that is probably gay anyway" or "He's not hot enough to be gay" 2. Sexuality is fluid, the pendulum swings both way? Its only really bi guys and straight girls that say that. Some say the pendulum can swing back because thats what they believe, it does for them, but some say that cos they hope its going to swing back in their direction 3. "You are neither confused nor crazy. You are 19" - You're 19 and an overly hormonal male, just like every other 19 year old guy, just like they were at 19................or maybe thats not the case, maybe you are far less hornier than every other 19 year old guy. Maybe your gay but all your ever going to want is a blow job and a cuddle. Maybe your straight but all your ever going to want is a blow job and a cuddle 4."Why do you need a label...you just like what you like. Who gives a shit" Half true, half false. Yes, "they" arent really going to give a shit if you are gay. But "they" are going to get the shits if they assume you get more sex than them, or assume its easier for you to get. And they are really going to get the shits if you get their partner more excited than they do, regardless of whether that partner is male or female, or whether you are gay or straight. 5. And the most important one, if you were actually confused, this thread wouldnt exist. You have to watch out for your own bullshit just as much as anyone elses
I should probably update you guys. I found peace within my self. But the reason I made this post and was somewhat worried was because of my traditional and religious family. We have somewhat of a pre arranged marriage (ultimately it has to be a mutual decision) and I MUST find someone from within the religion. With that said, I was worried because I knew the consequence - I would be disowned. So i went through a period of where I had troubles accepting my self and thought maybe I could settle with one gender. So I made the post to see if anyone with my feelings is straight - even though I knew that was absurd. Finally, when I did accept my self and situation, I came clean to my parents. I told them I was atheist and bisexual. The result? Well, I was on the brink of getting disowned. Currently, after a month, I am being sent to my homeland to speak to the elders in an attempt to find God and turn straight. So don't worry, I'm not embarraced about my sexuality. I've always loved "bear men" and have embraced it. Never once have i tried to fight it. It's nothing I hide and my whole life I've been openly standing up for gay rights. People knew my thoughts on the subject. I wasn't worried about my sexuality, I was worried about losing my family because of my sexuality. I guess i should have told everyone the full story instead of just posting and making it seem like I'm worried I might he gay. Sorry guys!
Well, the marriage thing kind of gets trippy too If not interested in girls in that way and thus never end up marrying one, as you get older its like instead of marrying one you end up married to all of them in a way
I think you're probably going to end up gay. You seem to like the idea of attraction to women, and the idea of a life with one but you will inevitably fall back on a man... then fall forward, then fall back Just get out there and start hooking up, throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. You could always hook up with Vanilla, he will satisfy those bear needs
Well here's another update. I'm no longer a virgin. You're right thought about just putting my self out there. I did that, and what I said in my first post changed a Lot. Or example i said I would never engage in anal or rimming, but I did, and i enjoyed it. So I'm going to stop analyzing this and just continue experimenting hehe And I do want to end up gay, but I can't get girls off my mind. I've become sexually and emotionally attracted to both genders now. Which i still love
