I hate it, i hate it! How do i make it stop?

I've fallen in love (yes the strong emotion) with 3 STRAIGHT guys over my life (over a 5-6yr span highschool), and i havent felt that way with anyone else i have anyone else until just today (2 yrs later). i get super "love sick", i dont eat, i get ansy, etc.
it always happens with straight people, ive never been in love with any gay guy. i always try and convince myself into thinking theyre gay, and so many "obvious" reasons. Does this happen to anyone else? i hate it! but im that overly "optimistic" type of guy.. "hopeless romantic" per say. I feel like this isnt healthy, hes foreign visiting with his foreign exchange family here in the states. so he's leaving in about 3 weeks i almost just want him to leave so i cant see him! ive seen him 3 days in a row cuz my friend is his foreign exchange family, and all my other friends hang out with her too.

i talk to him all the time when hes with us hanging out, we talked about music, cars, soccer, etc. and at the end of the night almost he asked me if i had a girlfriend, and i almost said that i dont like girls, but im still SO in the closet that i didnt, so i just said i didnt "have time for a girlfriend". he showed me a girl that he kissed, that he said he wanted to ask out, but he doesnt have a girlfriend. we're already going to a STRAIGHT club tomorrow, some little part of me says i should just not bother talking to him, but my hope wants to get to know him a lot more . anyone have any suggestions on what i should do!? i can't just do it cold turkey, he is very touchy feely, soft voice, i cant but to help think that he likes me! he is was a little touchy feeling with the other guys too sometimes, so the part of me that is trying to get me to stop is making me notice that! idk what to dooo! am i just so stupid that i need to stop being so delusional and shut up and just ask him if hes gay or not?? i can't really ever talk one on one with him with no one around, and i cant text him or anything cuz he doesn't have an american phone. text cannot describe how much of a mess i feel like, sad, depressed, happy at the same time that ive met him

 

Sorry dude, that sucks. I fell in love really bad with my best friend in High School. She is straight, 8 years later I still love her but know I can never be with her. I had to end our friendship because I couldn't handle being around her and seeing her with other people.

 

That happened to me too... this guy Krzyzstof. It's definitely a different world for foreign exchange students. Sometimes we don't know exactly how their culture is with homosexuality. I would say that it's not a good idea to pursue this. He's leaving in 3 weeks you say? Not exactly a good idea to try to start something then. You'd only be setting yourself up for a let-down either way. Besides, you're young yet, you'll have plenty of time. There will be many other guys in your life.

 

Ah, there is always the thrill of the chase though.

Dont deny that. that will always been there

And even when you know full well that chase is never going to end, there are still lots of quality hours spent with the spank bank

 

ugh, as they say, we all want what we cant get!! pisses me off!!

again he asked me if i had a girl friend!! and he mentioned the girl he was "talking" to

i think i just need to stop gold turkey?

im just not attracted to typical "gay guy" that i see. maybe there just aren't that many in my town, i should probably move to a bigger city i just dont know!!!!!!!!!

one of the places i was thinking of going on vacation is where is is from (europe country), and he even said he would show me around and everything! i hate it!!!!!!!!

 

you're stressing way too much. too many !'s
how old r u?

i've had massive crushes on straight guy in high school too, but not to the extent of love. well actually one, but i always kept me orientation to myself and never had a problem with it.
if he shows some affection even with guys, it doesnt mean anything, like i kinda doubt hes gay unless you really think he is gay. i can't use my gaydar on someone i dont know haha. if he asks you if you have a gf again, just be cool about it and say no and that you're not sure if you even are interested in girls or guys.

there are some gay guys that do act straight. rarely do u find one truly under everyone's gaydar though.

 

"rarely do u find one truly under everyone's gaydar though."

you saying that is enough for me to try and keep finding one! and i keep one telling myself it, and im the type of person that takes every opportunity possible, my gaydar is pretty good i think, but that single quote is what keeps me from stopping my search.

he doesn't act feminine or anything, he just has an accent, and i dont know if he has a lisp in his natural language or not, cuz he has an accent from his country so its hard to tell. like 95% sure hes straight, but that damn 5% and emotions are keeping me from stopping. i dont act feminine or anything either, or have a lisp, and pretty good at keeping my gayness low key

im 22 and yes i know im acting a little childish but im having feelings that are buggggggging me

 

I can totally relate to this, even though Im not gay. I have fallen in love with guys before, knowing full well I could never be with them. Even though they were single, and did show an interest in me. (I was born with an intersex condition, and I know most men would not want to be with me if they knew about that.) It is immensely painful, and hurtful. And although I keep telling myself to stop developing romantic feelings, sometimes I just cant help it.

You should focus on trying to find another gay man to be with. Falling for straight guys is just going to keep messing with your head. Although I do acknowledge that we cant help who we fall in love with.

 

idkbugz maybe he brought up the girl he liked again as a gentle way of telling you that he's picking up on your signals, and he's not into it but doesn't know how to bring it up either. i was continuously after many straight guys over the years, and a couple lead to secret one way interations for a while but that's not exactly a relationship. i still have someone that i'm around once a week that drives me crazy, and like a child i have a hard time being around him. but this guy know's it and even though he gave me a permanent no, he's always touchin and in contact with me alot. anyhow in your case, he's leaving soon so you should leave it to fantasy.

 

damn, i just saw the date of the post. it's 3 weeks now, and he's probably left lol. hope you made it idkbugz

 

The best thing to do is to meet some gay men. As you meet more gay men, the more likely you are to fall in love with one of us instead.

 

He did leave already, he wanted me to go visit, sometime in the winter but I do t think that will work out with my schedule. But a friend and I are going in the summer next year almost guaranteed. I feel miserable thinking about it

 

There is no such thing as gay or straight, in my opinion. Your attraction to a person is based on many factors, not just a person's external genitalia. As with all things, there are certainly no absolutes, even when it comes to sexual attraction.

 

im so fucked up with this kinda of feelings... i have had em a lot of time... I think it's not love but just some type of attraction...
I have it one and half month ago, with a classmate... he is not gay, but i want him to be... and i was trying to find out something that doesn't exit...
Maybe i need to find moooore straight friends...