OMG i have a fear of committment

I just googled that phrase on a whim and I can't believe how well it describes me.

So this girl gave me her number a few days ago and I've been hesitating to call her. She lives in another city, she works a lot and she's only mildly attractive to me. These thoughts keep running through my mind. I've been in this situation a lot before, and I come up with these "reasons" to not pursue her or I bail out of the relationship quickly and hurt her. And it all stems from a lack of confidence in my decision-making ability, and a fear that I'll become involved in a relationship that''ll limit my options.

I want a relationship, but she doesn't meet my ideal. Should I call her anyway? Make the plunge so that I can learn to overcome this shit?

 

If you mean ideal looks wise, then maybe you should get to know her first before you write her off. You have failed to mention what she is like as a person, which is a little worrying.

 

Just take your time with it dont rush things

 

It's useful to have an ideal - just remember that nobody, NOBODY perfectly measures up to an ideal 100% of the time. Can you handle being with somebody who might measure up to your ideal 75% of the time? 60%? 45%?

Can you hold both the image of an ideal partner and the very real person who might be your partner in your mind at the same time? Can you try? Are you willing to?