I learned I was adopted...at the age of 49. The nice part is that I have met three of my four siblings in another town. They are wonderful people and we get along great. I'm going to meet my younger sister who lives even farther away in August. The rough part is that nobody in my adoptive family told me any of it. What would some of you do if you were in my situation?
Well, what can you really do? Seems you're doing alright and stuff. I've never personally felt attached to extended family members so if it was me I wouldn't even bother meeting my blood siblings. But each to their own, sounds like you're doing okay.
i would be SUPER PISSED OFF! we know from studies down around the world, that telling childen they were adopted, when they reach an age, that they can understand what that, means is almost always the best course of action. in a very, very, very, few special cases a child should never told.
Here's an interesting side note to this story. It turns out that the couple who adopted my younger brother also adopted twins from Korea. Because the rest of the family is white, it's pretty obvious that these two Korean children are adopted. I've met one of the twins, and we have a pretty good friendship and have discussed some adoption issues. Here's the frustrating part. This guy isn't my brother by adoption or by blood. He's not a half-brother or a stepbrother or a cousin. Just what is he to me?
From what you have said he is, from a legal standpoint nothing in the family aspect to you. However, disregard the labels society places or in this case doesn't place on this relationship, if you feel as though you are that close with him. Call him your brother, or your step brother. also I am not sure if I noticed it while Reading through this thread but why did your adopted parents not tell you that you were adopted?
I really don't know why my adoptive family never told me I was adopted. My father died last year, and my mother has Alzheimers so I can't really get an answer out of her about anything. I've been away from the computer for a while and visiting my first (biological) family. I had a really good time. We spent some time together, ate a lot, talked a lot and sang some truly bad karaoke. I've been calling my Korean adoptive brother my brother. He has no problem with it, and neither does anybody else in the family. It feels right for us and if people can't wrap their minds around the racial difference, so be it.
I'd call him "friend." as to why you were not told: I'm 42 and of the first generation to know all along about my adoption in infancy. My baby book was adoption-based. Then again, i had an older sibling who would have told me just to be an ass, as older juvenile brothers will be. From what I gathered over the years from other adoptees who were told at various ages (one at 16, most between 8 and 12) some families didn't tell so the kid was just one of the kids, some because it was an interfamily adoption and one from shame of infertility, but those parents were about 10 years older than mine. (all references are to adoptive family) get to know and enjoy the family you found. How did you find them so fast? or did they find you?
