Are my friends really just users?

My boyfriend and are friends with another couple who we see quite regularly and enjoy their company as we always have a good laugh etc however its not so simple unfortunately and here is why.
Once about a year ago we decided to get together and share some takeaway food. We purchased the food and intended to receive their half of the money it cost when they arrived. After eating the food they announced "oh gee sorry we didnt bring enough cash can we pay you later or get the food next time".
My boyfriend and I are not penny pinchers at all and both thought ok thats fine no problem but it did pass through my mind for some reason that we would never see the money again. Perhaps its my lack of faith in people I dont know. Needless to say we never did see the money again nor did they return the favour or mention it ever again.
One year on we go get another takeaway meal and they do the exact same thing again. I didnt show it but I was furious for quite some time. The meal cost $70.00 which is quite a sum of money when you are struggling to pay a mortgage etc.however it is the principle that I think is most important.
My boyfriend told me that I was over reacting. I actually still feel angry about it now just thinking about it. This was over 2 months ago and again they have not mentioned it nor returned the favour.
I feel used.
Im too afraid to try and talk to them about how I feel which makes me feel even worse because I feel like Im not standing up for what I believe. There is no way Im going to let this happen a third time and I actually feel like severing the friendship because of it. I believe that if someone is a true friend they would go out of their way to make sure they did not forget.
What would you do in this situation?

 

Yeah dont let these dirty bags rip you off like that....I think your right 100 percent. I would honestly stop having any connections with these people.

 

You said you see each other frequently so I am assuming that there is a friendship that is worth something to either both or one of you.

I think you are over reacting. It is hardly worth giving up a friendship over a split bill of $35. Unless you do not value the friendship.

Possibly there is a reason that they are cashless.......

You also chose to order another meal based upon past history. If you were not prepared to possibly have to pay for it all, then you should of not ordered in or not invited them.

 

70$? and thats just one situation? dude definitely say something. you dont have to break friendship with them, it'd be better not to. just talk to them if they were your friends. if they use the excuse that they dont have money, dont be goin out to dinner! actually dont be relying on them for any money. do something about it dude, cuz u shouldnt hold anger around like that.

 

If you value their friendship, then talk to them and if they find this act offensive then they do not deserve your loyalty. Though it does not make them bad people.

 

We ordered another meal because to be honest I had completely forgotten about the first time until it occurred again. The situation this time was slightly different also as it was my boyfriend that went to pick up the food. One of the friends drove him there and then had to wait in the car because parking was really bad so my boyfriend went in to the shop thinking that we would sort the bill out later and then they pulled it again. However as I said its not going to happen a third time. Yes I do value the friendship but its left a nasty taste in my mouth.

 

I dont think i can talk about it. Maybe Im not assertive enough but I just cant bare the thought of how uncomfortable it would be.
I know they aren't necessarily bad people but their behaviour is very self centred in this case.

 

well first of all -- how strong is your friendship with these people? are they really what you would call *true* friends -- or is it more a casual kind of thing?

if they're friends --- are they maybe having some financial difficulties they feel embarrassed to talk about?

also --- are you saying these (two?) incidents happened a year apart?

 

stop inviting them over for dinner, clearly.

 

The old eatnrun ay. Big fan of it, I am.

 

You are right. Those guys are clearly abusing your friendship. Whatever their reasons may be, you are on the losing end of the story. Do not repeat the experience.

If you get together and choose to have another dinner together, simply make sure that they pay for their part upfront. As simple as that. You have this much and that's ok for you and your bf. If they want to eat, too, they'll have to pay for their part just as well. No point in letting them milk you in a bad way and probably laugh about it behind your backs.

Friendship is fine. But cash is cash and there is really no need for you to subsidize their take outs.

KD

 

If they want to have dinner again just tell them that they will need to pay this time or no go. It's pretty simple. At the same time I don't think it's something that's worth losing a friendship over.

 

just another weekend at Bernie's..

 

I need to watch that movie. It's always mentioned on The Office. >.>

 

Idkw, the part when all the people come over party and take his stuff, post just reminded me of that..

 

If it happened once, I would say it's no big deal. However, now that this is twice and they haven't paid anything for the food, I would say just don't go to dinner with them again.

 

Why is this in the gay forum?

Sounds a bit lame whining about $35 once a year

 

What are you implying? That gay people must only discuss gay topics because its a gay forum? How ridiculously small minded of you.
This is a gay community. I am gay. I like to communicate with like minded people about any number of topics.

 

this isnt the dreadlocks forum you know?? ...