I'm having trouble meeting people outside of work. How do you do it? I'm new to the city and it just feels like nothing has changed when I was in the closet back in my home town. I know this type of thing takes time but I haven't gone out and done stuff in a really long time. I'm crying inside for some friendships and to be able to go out and have fun but what do I have to do? Am I not trying hard enough? Do you guys have any advice? It's 9pm right now, beautiful weather out, I'm home alone as usual. So far I've tried gay.com chat, going for walks around the "gay village" that i live near by, haven't found any music events that I'm into yet, an hour ago I went to check out the lgbt centre to see the place and the lady just gave me a peice of paper that had a calender with events on them, i'm hesistant to go into any of the gay bars that i walk by because they're always filled with people sitting down drinking beers and eating with friends. I'm scared to go to the club because who goes by themselves, right? Sorry the the rant/whine it's just i've been doing the work 9-5 go home and stay home for the rest of the night and have no social life routine for the past 8 years, i'm starving to hang out with people my age and go out and have fun and be around people in general.
take a class or something, I know everyone says it but it really is a great way to meet people. I'm sure there are exclusively gay classes and clubs for various things, see what you fancy. I know how difficult it can be to find good friends, I believe everybody can relate, so I hope you find someone and be happy as you wish
Who goes to the club by himself? A man who wants to meet new friends. A man who wants to be less intimidating to other men who might also be shy. A man who is new in town. Me. Sometimes it feels like everybody who goes to a club goes in a great big mob of friends, but it just isn't true. Don't limit yourself to clubs. If you're a little bit shy, they aren't the best way to meet new friends. Is there anything at all going on at the LGBT center that sounds at least a little bit interesting? If there isn't, is there anything happening that doesn't sound like it would be sheer torture to go there? Here's a thought. Call the LGBT center and tell them that you're new in town and want to meet other guys your age and ask what they would suggest. I will confess a deep, dark, dirty secret. I am a shy person. If I really want to be around people in another town, I find people who are doing what I like to do even if it's not a specifically gay event. Chances are that somebody might be gay. If nobody is, at least I've had some practice socializing. And some people who aren't gay might know some gay people.
I have been traveling for work all my adult life. Not a biggie. You are a new dude around. You pack up, go out and meet up other qualified dudes. Admittedly, quite a few of these friendships started as ONS.They are horny. You are horny. And if you play well together, there is no reason for you not to see each other again, make friends, go out and have fun. Accept the fact that friendships depend on common interests. Consider the fact that most grown up men have work to do, bills to pay and even a household to run. If you and them click somewhere along the way, you'll make friends. KD
You're wrong, you obviously never stuck one out long enough I am a sports player and I visit various other clubs in my spare time. I was shy, I went and I was still shy, but slowly you start to make friends. It doesn't happen over night, after all. I think they are a great way because they bloody well worked for me. It's one thing to make friends, but you may as well try and become a little more gregarious in the process. I guess we are all different, but they are great places. I mean, most of the people on my old running club were there to obviously run, but to meet like minded people- they openly admitted that I am still friends with a few of them now, old and young.
When I say "clubs," I mean night clubs. I think sports clubs and other places where you have a built-in mutual interest are a great place to meet people.
Personally, I think you are just projecting. Making excuses for yourself for not being that interested in well, anyone You want "friends", thats easy work out what most interests you, and join up for some routine. Whether that be a tennis club, aerobics class at the gym, karate classes....or cooking classses - they are a great way to meet mumsy fag hags Given that you are talking about gay net sites, I think you are really talking about boyfriends But everybody else is going to be too PC about this, gay guys in there early 20s - notoriously unreliable, I know I was one of them. At that time it was a handful of female friends - usually dragging them away from the boyfriends cos they were annoying and as for the guys, only paid attention to the ones I wanted to fuck. That last paragraph may sound narcisstic, but its really no different in the straight world. Guys have a few mates, only pay attention to the girls they want to grind, girlfriends wont let them hang with other girls anyway Which brings me to my next point, you arent terribly unique for feeling this way and it aint a gay thing There are two types of girls that love having the gay male friend, the mumsy types and those that want to use you as a second handbag. If at 23 you dont have at least one of them, it does tend to suggest its you that cant be bothered. And in the case of the fag hag, you have an advantage over the straights, there is no straight equivalent to the non sexual friend thats going to beam at you. That, and in this day and age, I think everybody is struggling with internet addiction As for going to a gay club by yourself, different rules man, if you are alone they are just going to assume its cos you want to pick up, no biggie
so 2nd time ive cried out in the open in my life. pride weekend, 2 days before i go out sight seeing, all good. parade day, was fun until i walked through the streets after, it was packed! seeing everyone laughing and walking with people by their side, something just came over me, i walked a couple blocks ahead away from everything, found a nice secluded curb, sat down, put my head in my lap and just burst out in tears, sat their for a good hour or so, went back home and slept the rest of the night. i guess i had high hopes and was really looking forward to the weekend as i was meeting an old friend from when i was young who is also gay and came with his own set of friends but after our first meet up, it was obvious that we hung around different crowds(that i dont have right now ha), as they were more into "the scene" and i found out i wasnt really feeling it but nonetheless he invited me to hang with them for the weekend and i was happy. i ended up not getting a call or text back to join them but i understood because just because we were friends back then doesnt mean we are into the same stuff now and i know when im not wanted around or would i feel comfortable knowing his friends might have felt awkward around me. happy pride!
Well pride parade when you arent into tha scene? Just cos you are gay doesnt mean you are going to have fun walking down some street in your jocks Are we just talking here about getting a boyfriend? Do you have any concern/interest about getting other types of friends?
not sure what you mean but the thought of a boyfriend is non existant in my mind right now due to physical reasons, hasn't been ever and for the next few years probably but if it happens im all for it, im just looking for friends, thats all =/
i know this is like a broken record or whatever but i really have noone to talk to about this other then this forum. so small update, i went to a "coming out being out" session at the local lgbt centre and told my story, didn't really help. some suggested get involved with a social group like a sport or volunteer but i couldn't really relate to anyone there nor was i interested in doing any of those things. i've been to 2-3 music events by myself so far, enjoyed it because i can blend in with the crowd and not look like a total loner but still haven't met anyone. i'm trying to be productive with my spare time, going to the gym, checking out the city but at the end of the day i'm still home alone, eating alone, in my room alone. i knooooooooooooow this type of thing takes time but it's getting to me...i don't really look forward to the future, well i try but it's and on and off battle i guess.
The vibe I get from you is more asexual than homosexual, maybe immerse yourself in work, career of a hobby that open up careers later on in life, for now. Until you work out what you are Maybe people arent the answer right now, or a very select type that you only encounter once in a blue moon and befriend even less frequently
asexual meaning not interested in sex? sorry thats what i got from dictionary.com lol, trust me, i'm a pretty big perv haha there's just some reasons i can't say here that make me not want to pursue it. as for friends, i used to hang out with my cousins set of friends, we're all around the same age, they're all straight, even though it was for playing online games, we used skype chat while playing every night, it was great, i loved it, they always tried to get me to go visit them since they all lived in a city 2 hours away but yeah, it kept my mind off of the shit things in my life but i left that circle in my hometown where im not living there anymore. since that was all i was doing in my spare time, the problem is going along the whole being productive thing im trying to do now, i've stopped playing video games and focusing more on going outside to just experience life more then sit in a chair all night. it's ok though sometimes i just need to get things off my mind, today im feeling fine, well most days i am, just lonely once in awhile and my mind goes to a certain place...have a fever right now, took some tylenol and im gonna go pass out now...
Big difference between fantasy and the actual act. One can jerk off 5 times a day and still not be interested in exchanging bodily fluids
