so my dad is gonna die soon

I'm sorry you are losing your dad, warmie. My dad is a jerk and I'd still be a mess if I lost him. I haven't had any praise from him yet, but I keep trying...it's a dysfunctional thing

Just tell him you love him, don't tell him your problems. Like BBAD said, he wants to hear that you are happy and going to be ok.

As for the God thing...I have no relationship with any god and I would be upset if anybody started talking to me about it on my deathbed.

 

To be fair, I see what you're saying there. Always interesting to see another side to the same coin.

And anyways, I love to hate your posts

 

So what do you want everyone to say to warmhandedcanadian?

Sorry but millions of people are diagnosed with cancer each year and your father was just one of the many poor schmucks who got a raw deal in the game of life. Perhaps if he had a stronger constitution and will to live he could have overcome the disease, but nay; his eagerness to die and shed his responsibility to you and to his family were greater than his willingness to face the arduous and painful journey back into the world of the living


Hotwater

 

Sounds pretty round 'bout to me

 

As someone who is terminal, the most precious gift that loved ones can give is acceptance of the disease and of the course that it is taking. It does not have to be the focal or morbid. Instead celebrate the life while it is still there. The memories while you can still share them.

Warmhanded you are a sensitive and an intuitive woman, you know that what ever is said or not is with all the love you have for your Dad. That is enough. Do what feels right for you and it will be more than enough.

I will hold you and your family in my thoughts.

 

Yeah, agreed. People simply have a different way of putting it, I suppose.

Hope you're OK.

 

Im sorry to hear about this.I really am. I hope you take everyone's advice here and do something very special for him his father's day. Don't be afraid to show how you really feel, obviously your not happy that he's leaving i don't think you should pretend. Good luck.

 

so sorry to hear that . hope your ok.. i dont know what to say , cause i cant relate at all, i never had someone really close to me die. So i have no clue what your goin through :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

maybe try and get some of his old friends to visit him if they havent yet...I know my Dad would love that

 

my dad had a brain tumor and cancer and the doctors gave us a 6 week estimate on how much longer he had when he was a vegetable then got surgery and it has been about 17 months since that and he is still doing..

my regards

 

I'm so sorry to hear I hope you're doing okay.

 

It's heartbreaking that the man's never had a relationship with God, but I'm not going to advise you to preach something to him you don't believe. If death truly means the end of existence to him, help him to cope with that, if that's possible. Try to give him something to cling to in his last days. He'll certainly be going through memories from before, but it's not too late to make a few more. Let him be around people he loves as much as possible, and as for you people he loves, chin up while he's still around. I wouldn't want to leave this world with people crying around me. Have some laughs.

Best wishes and prayers.

 

Thank you everyone.
Everyone has a different opinion and I do appreciate all the feedback. I personally have gotten used to the idea of his death, but I almost hope it goes faster (mercy) in some ways. But I'm so terrified of being without him for the rest of my life. I was there when my husband's grandma passed away, and i remember it was alot like what Shaggie (?) said - the person in and out of consciousness and calling out to people who have passed on. My dad is getting more and more disinterested in the outside world and more interested in his pillow. I know he is really really hurting and sick. He says that he wants to go to the hospital but is still at home. My mom is keeping him at home as long as she can though and a nurse comes in. He does smell funny. The whole house smells funny. He has always been a very practical man, grew up in a catholic home and treated like shit his whole life. He was a really good/fun/talkative dad who had a mean streak. I've accepted him and he knows it. When he had his tumor in the fall he had a spiritual awakening... I think he feels that he knows somewhat to expect. He told my kids "Im going back to where I was before I was born and it's gonna be good" But I know he is scared of all those things like leaving us behind.

The best thing about this all is that I know he approves of the kind of person I am and that feels really good. He knows I care about ALL people. Tonight I performed reiki on him again and he is really enjoying it. It's something I just want to give him. He needs comfort... I dont think he has allowed anyone to EVER comfort him before.

I feel like that is something that I can give him.

I also had an Aboriginal Elder (medicine man) visit him and talk to him ,sing for him, do prayers... he gave him a medicine pouch that he wears around his neck all the time. He had an experience that involved an Inuit and a dogsled when he was "on the other side" during his tumor brain surgery episode. I also bring his pouch with me every time I attend the sweatlodge. He understands why I am there too... I need to be in a safe mental emotional spiritual state when this all goes down.

Thanks for everything. Its good to hear some feedback.

I love the part about telling him that I am happy. And I do. This has been good.

 

*quiet hug