In order to describe The distraction And the division I'd need a new language With new words And new intentions
This work does not have the same punching power as your very nice work called 'Dad'. I think this is lacking a hook. Peace.
Yeah, I agree..sounded perfect at the time, but being drunk=powerful emotions and inadequate hooks.. haha Really though, I should rewrite this.. the last three lines are perfect though, and how I feel on almost a daily basis. I need more WORDS!
I don't know I liked it more than the Dad one But then again there is always room for improvement Keep writin
I think a lot more people relate to "Dad" than this one.. so, it makes sense. This one is much more open for intrepretation, I think. and thanks!
