Hi, I came across this site looking for gay forums. I've been wanting to talk with people like me for so long. I'm a quiet, shy closet case and feel like I can never talk or share nothing. I'm a pretty chilled out and relaxed person who just tries to get along. Anyways just wanted to say Hi and hows it going? for now.
Hey Puddingtame, Welcome and thanks for sharing, I know how difficult it can be to 'come out' so to say and have all the feelings of being gay bottled up inside of you and not having anyone to talk to about them. I understand being in the closet, I am and have been in and out of the closet so many times and in the small rural town I live in here in the USA in the Midwest I am back into the closet. I find that it is easier this way as people are less apt to judge me and yet I do have some old close friends who do know I am gay and so that helps. I just do not want the entire world knowing my sexuality right now or at least the city or town I am living in. I try to be mellow and am for the most part, though I have mental illness and bipolar type issues and anxiety and panic issues and am on disability and since I do not leave the apartment much it is pretty difficult to meet new people and interact socially. I hope you like the forum and are able to gradually talk some about how you feel about your sexuality and being gay. I wondering how long have you known you were gay? Any way I will leave with this and it is good to see that you found your way here, keep posting and looking forward to getting to know you. Take Care, Pillhead2
Thank you for the welcome Pillhead. Well I known I was gay since was about 17. I started to have feelings for my best friend, I denied my feelings at first. But he could tell something was up and asked me if I was gay and attracted to him and I said yes. Ever since then we started "hanging out" more often seeing movies and having dinner. Going back to his place and we'd sometimes get really close and intimate. My biggest problem is that he acts like it hasn't happened and that he is completely straight yet sometimes he admits to his feelings and desires and he is usually the one who tries to turn me on when he want's something... I think he's in denial because I know I wasn't his first gay experience and I just want him to be open and acknowledge we certainly have a relationship. We do all the same stuff any straight couple would do. But I'm worried I might offend him or make him go away because he really does act like nothing happens at times. I also hope he wasn't just experimenting but I doubt someone can do that for years lol. Anyways I love him and I'm also extremely attracted to him.
I agree with you. Your friend has not been NOT experimenting for years. It makes sense to try once, twice or even three times. After that you already know what you like and what you don't. I doubt that he is in denial simply because he never speaks about it or because he "acts like nothing happens at times". He obvioulsy enjoys hanging out with you, getting close and intimate. He also has no hang ups when it comes to turning you on, when he wants something. All of which does not go on to say that he wants to embrace an openly gay lifestyle, come out and recognize that you have that "relationship thing" going on. Why would he want to do so? He has got all he wants anyway, and taking even a single step further would simply limit his scope and freedom of action. You have posted your age here to be 22. At that age I used to have a partner who was actually living in a perfectly normal gay relationship with me. We enjoyed it for all it was worth it, without ever really talking about it. We both knew that we were spending our time together. We both knew that we were having sex with each other. We never felt any need to mention the obvious, though. Neither to ourselves nor to the others. KD
