I'm not sure of my sexuality.

I have a physical attraction to both male and females but not all the time. Sometimes I don't really like men and other times I don't really like women. Sometimes I think that I could have a relationship with a woman but I don't know if I could ever have sex with one. But when i'm masturbating I often think of women. Then when I really think about it sex with a man isn't really appealing either unless i'm turned on. I'm very confused.

 

Don't worry about it. Give yourself time to figure out your orientation.

 

Are you confused by what you want or worried about what it means? It sounds like you like both men and women. Also, aside from sexual gratification...who do you imagine having a relationship with? If it's both, that's ok. Sexuality isnt so rigid that you are either gay or straight........you can be both or you can define yourself based on what you want at this point in your life.

 

I'm kind of scared of what it means. I can see myself with both.
I guess if im a lesbian Im just worried I will be assumed masculine or some sort of stereotype
And it wouldnt be accepted here
My mom often sais " I want grandchildren "
I don't really want chidlren, there are to many people on this planet already.
If I did decide to be a mother I would adopt.

 

thats stupid.....as annoying kids get it can be such a enjoyment to parent something.

 

It's ok, many and i mean many woman have bisexual tendencies, go out and explore them, life is short, get what you can while you can..

 

Do what feels right, not what makes others happy. I bet if you stop worrying about what others think it would help you figure out what it is YOU want.
And if you don't want kids, or if you want to adopt one day that's fine too. There are allot of kids that need a good home.

 

It could be more the person in question.... You should think about if your feelings toward one individual who you'd normally consider attractive (emotionally attractive as well... that could play a role, of course) tend to change along with your feeling toward that gender as a whole?

Maybe you naturally don't have a high sexual drive? When aroused, many people find things that they would normally never be interested in attractive, me included.... I know I've seen at least one thread on it since joining HF as well... If you just have a low sex drive but can be aroused into being attracted to a gender you normally wouldn't?

I'm no psychologist and may have dangerous or foolish psychological advice, follow it at your own risk, just trying to help.

 

When Kinsey did his tests, back in the 70s, his findings where that 50% of women had bisexual attractions at least some times. And 70% of men. He also found that most bisexuals had at least some fluidity to their sexuality.

Uncertain is actually normal. It's is the category that contains most people, at least at some time in their lives. Labels and categories are designed to make some things easier, but they don't describe actual people at all. They make it easier for us to pretend we know all about a person, when each person, especially their sexuality, is way more complex than that.

It's way more then gay, straight, bi. It's not even just a spectrum. It's a multi-dimensional graph, of countless aspects of sexuality all influencing one another. And always changing.

My advice: Relax, take it easy. Date who you want to date, have sex with who you want, fall in love with who you fall in love with. Others are going to slap stereotypes on you regardless of what you do, ignore them. Lesbians aren't all butch any more then straight girls are all hyper-feminine.

Many parents these days can accept a lot more than we give them credit for. Though it might involve some distress on the way. If they love you, they'll come around. If they don't, you will be better off without them in the long run anyway.

 

What is the biggest demographic? Gay, Bi or Straight?

I'm afraid your view of the world in this regard is based on a whole range of assumptions:

1. That lesbian is about masculine, gay males are effeminate: Why do you ignore the other end of the spectrum; Girls too feminine for guys, Guys too masculine for girls

2. That most people are straight?: Either the majority is straight or the majority is bisexual and most of them mostly concerned with what other people think

3. Its easier for homosexuals to hook up: Working out why just about everyone ignores the consideration that ranking rules do not apply to homosexuals is actually of great importance to most heterosexuals, its a great litmus test to how well they understand the opposite sex, its the base on how gaydar works. Or put simply the more homophobic the less they understand what the opposite sex is really looking at

4. You dont know many bisexuals: Can you guarantee to me that your mother doesnt have a secret girlfriend?, or that your parents arent part of some secret swingers club? Or that your dad doesnt duck out to the nearest truckstop on his way to get milk from the gas station late at night? The truth is not only that you could have no idea, but as one of their kids you are pretty much going to be the last person on the planet to find out, the very last person they are going to talk to about it

 

I guess you're really right.

 

vanilla gorilla I completley see your point but at the same time it seems like a lot of what you said has an angry undertone to it....I could ofcourse be wrong since these are typed words...anyway...

Wild-Flowers I hope you are not feeling really bad about all of this....whethor you decide to label yourself or not keep in mind that everybody goes through a period of time in which they are discovering themselves sexually and realizing that not everybody has the same likes, dislikes, preferences etc. As another posted has stated (sorry dont remember who)....dont put pressure on yourself to figure out what all of this means. Go with the flow and let yourself live and experience things. Also remember that you can have deep meaningful relationships with either gender. You can be a mom and create a wonderful family with either gender.

 

I consider myself asexual, but for some reason I have so much pent up sexual rage and it is mainly focused on men so I guess I would be a hetro, but im extremely picky especally when it comes to the intelligence a man has. unfortionaly i repress all the sexual rage i have becasue of my pickiness.

 

Why does it matter? Your sexual identity is a small part of who you are, it's about as important at the shade of your skin or the color of your eyes. Just go with what you feel, as long as it makes you happy

 

just do whatever, I find that the easiest way.

 

wildflowers you're 19 and just did or about to have a birthday. Experiment some in the next year and see what you like and it may help you become more secure and less afraid of these current desires and what they mean.

To vanilla gorilla I agree with most of what you said except #3. I can't speak much on lesbian culture but Gay male culture is way more permissive than heterosexual culture when it comes to hooking up in my experience. If we are talking about dating and being in a relationship then you may be correct but if you listen to gay dudes talk and what I've seen they are pretty promiscuous in my experience woman.

 

Hmm...
Isn't that what she said? "3. Its easier for homosexuals to hook up:..."
I don't think you are in disagreement...

 

Perhaps you should just operate on a person-to-person basis.
Instead of internally declaring once and for all that you are straight, gay, or bi, maybe you should just live your life and meet people, and if you are attracted to them, so be it, regardless of their gender.
Of course unless fitting under a specific categorization is very important to you, but I don't think that's the case, nor should it be.

 

Don't leave us scat people out...

 

which 'she' prefaced by saying they were the op's assumptions.