Are women biologically programmed to reward cruelty, evil and domination?

Curious now, to learn what this 'historic' defeat was.

Clear evidence that you don't give a damn about being -actually- virtuous, you just care about being -seen- as virtuous. You do understand that there is a difference, right?

Sounds like you were following a pretty well-trod path of moral corruption. Again, whatever your defeat was, it was likely the best thing that ever happened to you.

I continue to think you should go out and read Herman Hesse's entire bibliography. I think he'd have a lot to say to your condition.

Well, then you've a good start toward being an actually good person, instead of a violent warrior who preys on others and grows complacent and corrupt feeding on his own self-righteousness. So, now what?

 

If you've a low sex drive, then it isn't much of a challenge to be 'above' lust then is it? Chastity is no challenge for the asexual. Why don't you try taking on a virtue that's actually difficult for you? Humility comes to mind. I think that's challenging for many people. I know it's a continuous challenge for me. Though I've also met folks for whom it seems to come naturally. For them, another virtue might be a better challenge. Charity might also be a good one to look at.

The thing is, that is -not- the path to 'sexual success'. What does that even mean anyway? I mean, if your measure is the sexual attention of the opposite sex, I'll let you know that the most sexually successful man I've ever met is also one of the most gentle. He's got about 6 lovers at current, including one long-term committed girlfriend. And yes, they all know about each other, he's also fairly honest. He's gentle, kind and compassionate. He's also passionate and has a sexual intensity, a way of making a girl his entire focus, his whole world, for at least while he's looking at her.

I have, at times, been one of his lovers. I've actually always found it strange the man is so compelling. He's really not that overly attractive on a physical level. I mean, he's not bad looking, but nothing special. He does put a lot of care into his appearance though, and I know that helps. But mostly it's just that, when your with him, you know that he has good intentions, that sex with him isn't something wrong. He feels safe, without feeling boring. I've told him that if he ever wanted to, he might be able to make a mint off of being a PUA guy himself, and we both got a good laugh off of it. But he said his class wouldn't be too popular. He invests far more energy on getting to know, and focusing real attention on women then most guys are willing to put in.

Past high school, and it's strange mutant extension of college, that dominance game starts to fall apart. It's a compelling myth. Anywhere where there's enough male-focused social structure, it creeps in. People believe it because we're taught it. And because the aggressive males have a vested interest in getting other guys to believe it. Because people believe it, it becomes partly true.

But out in the wider world, it starts to fall apart. Sure, aggressive guys still get laid sometimes. It's still a compelling myth. And one guys and girls both have swallowed. Both in many cases believe that there are 2 types of guys. Assholes and wimps. And given that choice, many girls choose assholes. But most girls are continuously looking for a third option. Why do you think the artist, the musician, the writer, is such a compelling sexual archetype? It posits the possibility of a guy that has passion and intensity, but also has an emotional nature. An element of vulnerability.

I find it maddening that so many guys look at the PUA lit and draw the same asinine conclusions that those misogynists themselves did. That women reward guys for being jerks. When in actuality, all evidence points to the idea that women reward guys who care about their appearance, who show passion about things, who draw women out and actually listen to them, who are capable of reading subtle communication, who don't push too much and instead engage in give and take, who build feelings of comfort and safety, who show emotional sensitivity without coming across as too overly needy.

But it's in the vested interests of men as men to perpetuate the myths. Particularly dominant and powerful men. Because it perpetuates their power. Power over other men, primarily, but power over society in general through them. Perpetuating the asshole/wimp, alpha/beta male myth is the only way assholes are going to continue to get laid. And continue to have a stranglehold over social status.

But there are larger and larger subsections of society where this isn't really true any more. And these areas have a lot of cool women. Geek culture is a particular area where that tired myth is dying fast. A number of pieces of the 'hip' community have seen this dying too. Where emotionality, openness, vulnerability, compassion, actual real connection is starting to be seen as a virtue in men.

Thinking about it, it's basically any subset of society where bisexuality is seen as a viable and acceptable option. Women who've experimented with other women have less patience for asshole. Men who've experimented with other men have seen the virtue of a degree of vulnerability. In my experience, bi folk make the best lovers anyway, pretty much across the board.

 

:cuss:

 

Can't quite hear you.

Maybe I just imagined hearing something.

 

He said :cuss:

 

I really appreciate those of you have tried to take my problem seriously and give me thoughtful advice. I have no idea whether it will have any influence in the end, but I think a problem like mine needs to be talked out. The internal logic both of me and this society needs to be brought into the open.

What is the story of my life? My development was retarded in elementary school, my chance to reinvent myself in JRHS, only partly rectified the problem. I was very happy with my position in JRHS and HS at times, but it was a sham popularity that took a great deal of self-delusion. Michael Scott from the Office is a good comparison. It was during the later stages of elementary school that my imagination began to turn away from Disney and Superheroes, to the true action heroes of history- the great warrior conquerors. And that played a huge role in my development. I acted as though I was a historical character. There were many negative affects to this. But I think one positive was the huge values put on fitness and athletics, something I was not naturally inclined to. My personal life is very intertwined with my ideological life. But it does not do justice to simply reduce my ideology to psychological projections.

Basically my life has been on hold ever since I graduated HS at the peak of my game. That was a real shame. To paraphrase HG Wells it was not like the long, slow, decline of the great Roman empire, but instead, like World War I, the tragic self-mutilation of a youth just on the eve full bloom.

It is true that I started college with a hostile attitude, but those feelings were always there. But was I always right in my rage? I could be a very ugly, hateful person in my youth. And I wince at some of the things, I once spouted. The general inclination to good, in faith in the people was always there. But saying King Mob is always right, can lead one into supporting barbarity. It was perhaps an over-reaction to the continued fear of
"mob rule" in an age of universal education.

I guess the problem of pulling out of life is that it removes all self-correcting mechanisms. And the contact I do have with the world, is torturing myself by reading the blogs of the most hate-filled sadistic versions of PUA and evopsych.

IDK it seems like all that I consider "good" has been decisively and irreversibly smashed in the world.

After years of suppressing all hints of sexuality, male-female power dynamics have become such a focus. Although there is more. Structural evils that were just phantoms to rail at, have become living demons. It is a true hell that I inhabit in my isolation.

I just can't accept any reassurance. Because the dominant ideology DOES celebrate cruelty, sadism, and domination. And that is the only truth that holds real meaning. It is true enough to hold real power over real people in the world. To hold power the majority must acquiesce either to force or persuasion. So for me that PROVES the cruel, unbearable worldview that comes out of evopsych and its offspring.

So what do I do? In this bad economy, one must have a real love of life. One must struggle, compete, grapple for the privilege of being alive. I have none of that in me. I see only the ugliness of life. I certainly do not wish to work for the privilege of breathing. But where can this line of thought lead?

Inertia. Inertia is the driving force in my life. When I had a plot, I just let it keep rolling along after I had long lost interest. But once the ball stops, it remains at rest. Life has a tendency to keep rolling on. But once you make the decisive decision to stop and pull out of your own life-story. It is incredibly difficult to just jump back in. Especially when none of the arguments that caused the initial retreat have been satisfied. I just don't feel that strong instinctual, irrational, drive for self-preservation. I mean that is the psychological "illness" I suffer from. Well thats what all disorders are, hamperments to survival and reproduction. That is why it is so easy to throw labels at any attempt to seriously question the reasons behind our brute biological drive simply to be.

Ok so throw the charge of hypocrite at me. I'm leeching off my parents. I wont be once I am thrown out. I guess then the naysayers will have the chance to prove themselves right. Will biology kick in and overule reason? Well even if that does happen, for here right now, it has no impact on truth. That is brute power. Even if us frail soft meat and flesh are too weak to accept the consequences of truth, does not make it any less true. Does pragmatism kick in here? But what is pragmatic about simply existing in a society you utterly despise? I just feel so trapped, like the walls are closing in on me. And indeed time is.

The world just seems insanely evil to me. It can be ignored if your actually living your own life story. But once you really pull out and cease to have you own story and plot, cease to be a character in the drama of life. The idiocy and inanity of the script becomes glaringly obvious. When you cease to lose yourself in your part, when you remember that your just an actor. Then all you can do is rail at the screenwrighter.

I don't want to universalize my experience. It seems most so-called nihilists who supposedly see the nothingness of life, decide to embrace it all the more. There strange doublethink logic leads them to proclaim that meaninglessness gives the meaning. I think thats just biology kicking in. The great "truth" they discover is to pursue sadistic power and sexual domination. So someone very similar to me, could read all the same books hear all the same arguments, and simply decide to play the game of life with more ruthlessness.

 

your such a dope, keep your ears peeled

 

The only means for males to extract pleasure is through the pain and humiliation of females. This has been shown by a genetic study of all related mammalian and reptilian species. There is a fundamental conflict between mitochondria carried by females and the Y chromosome carried by males. Even in 21st century, life is all about males finding new ways to torment females. Females are biologically programmed to reward this sort of behavior.

 

For someone so immersed in pseudo psychology, you seem to be forgetting the ONE constant of the universe, that you can always, always, always count on to be true:

It's all in your head.

 

Are we back to page one again?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc&feature=related"]YouTube- Conan, what is best in life?

Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Lol


OP, put the textbook down, and step away from the microscope.

Watch some romance movies, or go to the park and observe couples who are in love.

WHEN IN ROME, DO AS THE ROMANS DO!

 

I find much pleasure that has nothing to do with sex and I find pleasure and happiness in knowing that my partner is happy. I have a partner, you don't.

 

If there were a moderator on this forum, this thread would have been closed because of idiot intrusion......

 

You should have been flushed down the toilet when your were born, instant abortion......

 

I would assume from your postcount you don't know about the whole sidney thing..... It's just a rather obnoxious persona, based on the idea of a rather molested, damanged, confused, foolish, and uninteligent girl. It's really a vietnam vet though.

Though I'm not sure if it's a "persona" or a "personality", not sure if he's aware, for example, of the irony of periodically coming into a philosophical discussion/war and giving a 1 liner about other people being stupid, at least until he's back on silverhippy...

 

Look at my postcount, and I still had no clue.

 

tky..

 

Err not QUITE like that... But partially...

I would have laughed, but that particular personality/persona causes me some frustration, so I couldn't

 

Still don't feel like you answered my question. What was it that went wrong between HS and college? You said you entered college 'already defeated'.

You're welcome. Meantime: You can talk about your own internal logic, and your impression of the logic of our society, but you can't really talk meaningfully about the actual logic structure of society. It's far vaster and more complex then any human being can fathom.

Why is this? What was this tragic mutilation you inflicted upon yourself?

Evidence that doing good, really doing good, is hard. And tends to involve a lot of failure. Doesn't make it not worth trying. Does make it important to understand that the 'greater good' is not always enough to justify immediate evils. One's own idea of the greater good are likely to be flawed, because you can never see the whole picture. Best to work on the good in the immediate, for those you know and to a degree understand, to work on the smaller picture you understand better, in most cases. Many smaller goods often add up to far more then one greater good.

This is certainly a problem. And such blogs are going to poison your view of the world. The possibility exists that there is more to this life then you can see, and that you've been blinded by narrow views.

M-F power dynamics are a bitch, it's true. Hell, all power dynamics have inherent difficulties. No one is claiming this world is all flowers and sunshine. Only that your view that it is all darkness and suffering is equally naive as one that says it's all wonderful.

And you know this how? What tells you what the 'dominant ideology' is? The writing of some bitter dead white men? The writing of PUA guys who's intent is to sell some twisted cure-all, an ultimate weapon in the 'gender-wars'? And to boost sales actively foment? Tv News, who've made the interesting discovery that creating intense emotions in people sells ad time, and the easiest emotion to create is fear?

You have this silly notion that you have the whole world figured out. But you don't, none of us do. It's got more ideologies then it's got people and there is no one ideology that rules supreme. It's a constant state of flux and forces are pushing from every direction. And so most seem pretty certain that -their- team is right and the others are wrong, immoral, sinful, despicable, degenerate. Evil, even.

For every evo-psych guy there's a hippie guru, a tibetan monk, a catholic priest, charismatic hedonist. For every PUA guy there is a self-help writer, a therapist, a social worker, a feminist. This is the never-ending, oldest struggle. The war of ideas, the struggle for hearts and minds. Sure, the most ruthless win fame and fortune, and with it privilege and power. But are they really more influential on the hearts and minds than the local pastor, the school teacher, the prolific writer? Even if each one is, if they are outnumbered 100-1, does that boost really give them an edge? Who's more important in a child's upbringing, in creating their worldview, the president, a wealthy CEO or the child's parents?

The worldview you speak of isn't dominant. It just dominates -you-. It dominates you view of society, and blinds you to other possibilities.

Good economy, bad economy, you still live with a level of comfort, privilege and buffering from any real challenges unheard of in the history of mankind. It's hardly a state where you need to struggle just to survive.

Inertia's a bitch. Makes getting anything going really hard. I know exactly what you are talking about. I've dealt with very similar, several times. One big issue though is that when you stop, the world keeps going. If you don't run alongside, it just drags you along the ground behind it. And really, that's a very special kind of misery.

It's not just that you are a hypocrite. That's not the issue. It's that this points to a fairly central flaw in your logic, if you look for it. You say that humanity is evil, and you are somehow different. Yet to find the source of all the world's evils, what pettiness lies behind them, one need look no further then the motivations of -many-, not all, of your own motivations.

So perhaps what makes you different is that you have good motivations too? Well, what makes you think, then, that all those others don't have their own good motivations? You are capable of goodwill, compassion, caring and a desire to help humanity, yet you often fail, falling into selfishness and using excuses for your own lack of concern about real human beings right in front of you. And you wonder why the world seems to have such problems? Because it's full of people Just Like You. This isn't an attack, it's merely an observation. You Are That. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you'll understand your actual predicament.

But this is, in fact, quite impossible. Or at least, virtually impossible. And you've far from done it. You continued to read about the world, and in doing so listened to other's takes on the world. And you spent the whole time reliving your old life story, not having new one's simply stewing in your juices, churning them up until all understanding, meaning and -experience- was out of the experiences.

You lost perspective, all the while thinking you were gaining it. Memory isn't a crystal clear glass, it's tinted by whatever ideas you currently hold. If you believe the world is full of monsters, you memory will paint people as monsters. If you believe it full of angels, you will see angels.

You cannot get an objective view of the world while you're in it. You can't even have an objective view of you own life, it's a subjective experience that you are currently experiencing. You didn't escape the world, you simply found a corner to play your role in. An actor playing a hermit, who's railing at a screenwriter. An actor playing a character that thinks he's been an actor and now isn't, and therefor acts out the character experiencing the drama of realizing the sham of the play. Very Avante Garde. Good role, see you at the rewards ceremony.

Interestingly enough, Albert Camus had the same issue with the existentialists. Though he's often classed an existentialist himself, he preferred the term nihilist, much like you do. He thought too that the existentialists were performing a bit of doublethink, though he stated it differently the you, being that he was less of a biological empiricist than you. He viewed the whole 'meaning arising from meaninglessness' thing as a bit of religiosity, a comforting delusion. Of course, he also noted that self-righteousness and despair were equally delusions for the exact same reasons, irrational double-think.

Personally not a huge fan of Camus, prefer Kierkegaard and De Beauvoir. But it seems he might be just what you are looking for. Check out 'The Myth of Sisyphus', it could be well worth the read.

 

What a sad worldview you have chosen.

 

Only one ideology can maintain hegemony at one time. That is the nature of "truth". There are periods of revolution, what in science, Kuhn calls "paradigm shifts", when the entire worldview comes into question. I don't see any seeds of change at all. It seems that at least in my lifetime, this world is the one we're stuck with. Generation Y is certainly cynically ok with everything.

IDK maybe I shouldn't focus on male-female issues. But obviously a world in which life is about dominant males enjoying women as rape playtoys, affects anyone male or female in the societal hierarchy. And we live in a very hierarchical society, where everyone clearly knows who dominants and holds power and who must submit. IDK maybe its not moral and just aesthetically unpleasing to me.

I don't believe in any "ism"s at the moment. This is not because I'm above isms but because I'm below them. I'm so overwhelmed and smashed and crushed under the weight of the dominant ideology. That is the goal of all ideologies. And it has certainly been successful on me. My vision is so clouded by the dominant ideology that I can not see through its' fog into the "Real". I really don't know what is "Real". But it is not about arguments, reason, evidence or logic. It is about brute physical, military, political, economic, social - POWER. And they hold the Power. That is whats Real.

In my youth I guess my worst fear was being some beta-male nice guy for a girl. And I went out of my way to make sure I never did anything nice for them. Well that fit neatly into my system of ethics. By being rude and indifferent to girls, I was showing that I was entirely above their temptations and immune to vice.

I suppose at the time, I did not entirely realize the humiliating and degraded position that all females occupied. And I guess my own record was not the greatest. I thought I was being virtuous enough simply by suppressing sexual desires. Still I think I was better than any other male in our society or at least the vast, vast majority.

But in the end, I suppose I'm simply unfit for survival in the world that is.