i'm 19 and ive basically known i liked girls since like 7th grade. and i have NEVER hooked up with a girl. with the exception of a few games of spin the bottle and this one time i made out with my friend when i was blackout drunk, but i dont count either of those. i figured once i got to college i would be experiencing new things, and i just finished my first year and i didnt come close to hooking up with a girl... one of my roommates was actually a lesbian but she had a girlfriend and i talked to her about it and she told me she hadn't seen too many lesbians on campus, and aside from her i didnt even meet any other lesbians. i also only like fem girls, and im fem, and that just makes it so much more difficult. it sucks cause only a number of my friends know, and im trying to come out to more of my friends but its hard to just be like "oh hey im a lesbian" without even being able to say "i hooked up with this girl" or whatever. i have a few friends from high school that are home from college and now coming out, and all of them have stories to tell or whatever. anyway this is all just really frustrating and annoying,any advice?
does your school have a social group for gay/lesbian students? You could give that a try. Also, maybe branch out into the community and get involved in things outside of your campus that are aimed at gays and lesbians. I'm probably the worst person to give advice though. I cam out as bi in high school. i have never hooked up with a girl and now I'm married to a man.....and wondering what the other side is like....LOL
we have a lgbtq group at school i think but i feel weird going there by myself, or even like clubs and stuff... i dont even know of anything like that. ive always been sorta turned off by things that are specifically aimed at lesbians or whatever, but i guess thats the only way im ever going to meet anyone. i would feel more comfortable going to something like that with a friend or something but i dont know any other lesbians...
have you thought of trying online dating sites? there are some free ones like okcupid and some other one i forget. i don't really have great advice. i also kind of have trouble meeting chicks.. i'm pretty feminine-looking i think and that's the appearance i'm attracted to most also.. it's hard sometimes. sorry dude
ive considered it. i have friends who go on those sites all the time though to find people they know, i'd feel really weird if i had an account on there, maybe if i made up a fake name and didnt post a picture or something but then that kind of defeats the purpose.
I came out to everyone without ever being with a girl. I had no problems with it because frankly that aspect of my life was no body's business. I've been with plenty of women presently, and the reaction from people is the same. Because they don't know...and it's none of their business. If the people in your life accept you, then they accept you no matter what. If they don't, then they aren't friends. It's really that easy.
oh and don't go around looking for it, because you'll never find it. I mean, you might, but probably not. Just relax and go with the flow and eventually it'll find you.
i guess so. and i know no one would judge or anything, its just that much worse when i see my friends coming out by talking about all the people theyve been with while im just like "no, never done anything with anyone ever". it sucks cause dont have enough fingers to count the men ive hooked up with this year, and it doesnt even mean anything to me. also i made an account on okcupid last night and already ive found like 6 people that i know, its weirding me out haha one of them is one of my close friends and we have a 90% match or something
I think you're over analyzing it. Seriously, they shouldn't care, and if they do, they sound like gossip queens and last time I checked, that's a bad quality. If they mention it, tell them it's not their business and who you sleep with doesn't define who you are.
its not that they would think differently or that they care, its that I care... i hate the fact that ive never even been with a girl, or anything close to that. it just makes it harder when i hear other people talk about it like they hooked up with this person and that person, it doesnt matter if they know whether i hooked up with anyone.
I agree with Jeri. I came out as bi and then lesbian during the 8th grade and I spent the next two and a half years of my life feeling like I was alone, and then like I was going to go through all of high school never getting to be with someone. Then this friend-of-a-friend befriended me and jumped me =) you just can't be looking for love, desperation is a turn off. However, I do posit that if you aren't out to many people then it will be assumed you are straight and it will never occur any women who could potentially be interested in you to consider you. Good luck with life! =)
well since this thread is still being responded to... i hooked up with one of my best friends (a girl) a few weeks ago, and we hooked up again last night when i slept over her house
