So there is no bisexual multimedia online at all, just LGBT?

Hi,

Quick post: I have been confused for a long time. I had a heterosexual childhood (attractions, love, dare I say), and a gay teenhood (depression, confusion). I had a blurred early adulthood (more confusion, anxiety). But lately I've been finding that maybe, just maybe, this "bisexual" label, might just sum me up. It would explain a lot. That's for sure.

I have been researching bisexuality for all of 2 weeks. I have watched all the bisexual clips and videoblogs that youtube has to offer. I've watched a Rose By Any Other name - a webseries of 10 episodes, each 7 mins long with 3 mins taken up in intro and credits. I've downloaded the only bisexual podcast I could find: bi social media, with its poor audio quality (think of a telephone EQ/sound, played over Realplayer in the dialup days, with autotune slapped on it. It's a little worse than that).

Is that it? There is no other audiovisual media for bisexuals. I am sorry, but GLT (no B) media does not interest me. I just can't identify with it. So, some gay writes a book, a lesbian directs a screenplay, a trans campaigns for free bus passes for trans. I am glad they are progressing, but it doesn't appeal to me.

Also, the youtube videos on bisexuality have become stale. "I think it exists.. possibly", "Real bis are...fake bis are...". I would like some media about bisexual realization, visibility, relationships, how to tell wives/gfs (bfs/husbands are less judgmental, distrusting, etc), news, info. I just want media that I may be able to relate to better than the GLT stuff. The GLT stuff doesn't really mention bi. We all know how they feel about bisexuality!

So no bisexual media exists? I am not talking about a website, book, a movie that makes some reference to bisexuals, I mean stuff targeted at bis. Does it exist? Or do I have to listen to GLT stuff that doesn't really appeal to me, by people who think bis are confused or greedy.

It's a shame.

 

i hear you. i've sometimes come to the conclusion that the term 'LGBT' needs to be switched to 'LGT' because most lesbians and gays refuse to recognize that bisexuality exists. this is in part due to the fashionability of being bisexual, which makes most lesbian women see bi girls as either straight girls who are pretending or gay girls who aren't honest with themselves. i've always had a strong attraction to both sexes and it's frustrating, when looking for a community of true bisexual women, to find mostly poseurs.

then again, it's difficult for women, i imagine, to reconcile bisexuality inside themselves. a woman may sleep with men, become attracted to a woman, become disillusioned with men, consider herself from then on a lesbian, and then be attracted to a man later, and think she was just kidding herself. bisexuality is there to be embraced, but a lot of people scorn it as a label, as a sort of cop-out.

you can message me if you want. i'd like to discuss these things with someone too, really...

 

Well, it does seem easier for bi women from the straight "camp" as they are not seen as outsiders - they are seen as fashionable and probably straight, or heteroflexible. It's bad that you aren't believed, but it's good to be wanted. Compare with bi men, who are considered not to exist at all. Bi men do not have the status of bi girls. Sure, bi girls are seen as hetero (wanted), but bi men are seen as gay (unwanted).

Bi women thus have more freedom to be who they are and can still settle down with a hetero guy if they choose. What hetero woman wants a bi male??

I loved the L word, but it was too much downloading and virus risk, plus I live at home, so mum could burst through the door at any moment. She would immediately see me watching a lesbian series as me being a gay male. She distrusts everything I do. I suppose since I came out to her a few years ago, she has repressed that memory but it comes out in her distrust and babying of me.

Where was I? Yeh, and today I watched Queer As Folk US. 3 years ago I would have had a panic attack watching it, coz gay sex (the idea of it, the idea I might like it, remember a scene/clip of it, if a male could prefer it to girls, etc) used to give me panic attacks. I was able to watch it, but I still didn't feel identified by it. I would really appreciate some sort of community or radio station or something. I don't know if I am bi, but I have a strong pull to it at the moment.

I will investigate a bi meet up group that I think they have around London. I just need an excuse to be out the house (I'm 27, but mum is nosey as hell). I'm kinda worried about being in a gay area if it gets bombed or something.

I saw a episode of Tyra on Youtube where all the LGBT community put down a bi guy, telling him to pick a side, etc. Bis really are in no mans land. Straights probably think that the L word and QAF identifies bis somewhat. And gays think we don't really belong..bis more than any other LGBTQ group need separate media/community events.

 

ok... first I am sorry... or better yet I wish, as an openly bisexual male I could give you a huge hug, smack on the ass & have a beer... LOL

Here is is from the world of a 41yo male that has finally taken a more honest stand on where I am.

You need to ask yourself several questions:

* where are you when it comes to being attracted to men vs. women? 50/50? 70f/30m? 80f/20m? 80m/20f? etc... only you can answer that. It does NOT = a label... its just a point of reference.

* have you had a true, physical M-M encounter or relationship? this makes a HUGE difference.

* what about M-M interaction do you want/cherish most? the camaraderie? The hangin out? the honest, almost primal connection?

* if a woman was NOT in your life what would you MISS most?

* is your attraction to men because they might show me some sort of attention, where as I have no experience "getting" women interested.. This is a BIG one.. not trying to be harsh... Just saying I see alot of men, ALL ages that head down this path seeking intimacy & connection.

Its funny, Women experiment with bisexuality (usually) for sexual/intimate gratification they don't get with their male partners. Men, in my experience, go down this route as a way to fulfill an initmate/more than physical connection. Even though the "act" maybe sexual, its the contact, the physicality of the act that is the real reward. I hope that makes sense..

Any person, male or female needs to assess WHY they want to turn down this road & be honest why its happening.

For me, it was a reaction of 16 years of solitude/one-sided physicality.. at first... but then I grew to embrace that I had been "adjusting" for 16 years. Now I am remarried & my current (forever) wife accepts I have desires she can't meet... she is a very VERY unique lady.

Take a break... evaluate/assess your true needs/feelings... there is no shame in finding a therapist to discuss the situation, get your mom involved. She probably needs it as much as you do.

R.

 

lol.

I don't know. I would say my attractions are low for a young guy anyway. At one point, I thought I was a "bisexual asexual". I would say about 70f/20m with a few % flexibility. It is hard to tell, coz the idea of being gay (I used to think I was gay from 14 til my early 20s) used to depress and anxiet me (there you go, a new verb). So my homo feelings could be very well repressed.

I am worried that one day, if I can channel into my homo side, the floodgates will come crashing down and it will swallow up my hetero side, which, tba, is the side I treasure the most. It is the side I first new.

No. What difference does it make generally? And in your case? Can one not know their sexuality before having a relationship/encounter? Many people seem to be able to.

If there is a part of M-M interaction that I can see myself taking part in or cherishing the most: it would be the submissive sexual role I suppose.

Ever again? I would miss sex, being close/touching, the feeling of comfort and being at ease around her, the trust, reliability, the fact that someone beautiful is devoting themself to me. Her love shown to me. Her appreciation of me.

No. Although I have had the flippant remark/thought in my head: "these girls don't like me? I might be gay anyway" - or something to that effect. But probably only twice. That was also when I was more confused than "bi-identified" (sort of) like I am now.

 

ok.. wow.. I don't have a large window of time tonight...

so I will give you a basic "glimpse" of me.

Married my HS sweetheart after college & 10 years of dating exclusively. We didn't do the petty break-up, get back etc stuff... 10 years together, no intercourse before marriage (long azz story for another time).. we were married for 6 years... together total of 16 years. We were WAY to young, we didn't know ourselves, our bodies, each other, we didn't know jack squat. I always knew I "admired" other well put together men, in a distant appreciative way. After I caught her cheating (which I wasn't getting) I walked out & re-evaluated. I was fortunate to have three very close male friends, two of which were openly gay (not together). Long story short, I had to travel outside my home state with one of my very close gay friends for a long weekend, we went to a club of his choosing, I was exposed to a different world. This is what I meant by "getting attention" can change your perception. I was desireable, I was "hot"... me? I was hot... but in the back of my head I was sitting thinking... "damn he is hot too"... so it was a delayed/latent switch for me that opened up a whole new world.

that is why I said all the points, you need to take a hard look @ why your attractions are where they are.

I am an 80f/20m myself. I have a VERY narrow scope of men that I think are attractive or interesting. I like Boobs & Butt.. or the "B&B" as I call it. always will. I seriously doubt I could be in a long term M-M loving relationship. But never discredit or rule out that for someone else...

R.

 

http://main.bisexual.com/

 

I wrote an article on my experience being a bisexual woman in a monogamous relationship. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/3007310/bisexuals_are_not_confused_or_curious.html?cat=7

I believe society is hard on bisexuals because society is so black and white about things. You don't have to choose sides as a bisexual. Just be true to yourself.