Lately, I have had trouble thinking straight. Yes, I am bein punny with that, by thinking straight I mean thinking clearly... level-headed... You see, I have discovered something that nearly irritates me to death. I have discovered that I assume nearly everyone is straight, unless they make the alternative quite obvious. I don't know why this is. I really dispised the fact that people would willy nilly assume that I was straight, without ever asking or getting to know me... but now I find that I am guilty of the same thing. I'm not sure what influenced this in me; society, my up-bringing, or my own personal ways of thinking Perhaps it was a bit of all of that. I also think a part of it my be my psychosis; I rarely if ever feel like I "need" to be with someone. Would I "like" someone to be my partner? Well, yes... but I think that goes for most anyone, maybe not everyone. But I don't have that pubescent "need" anymore... that has dwindled out. But I guess I'm just frustrated that I don't take the time to talk to people, the way I wish I had been talked to. Of course a person's sexual orientation "can be" a tough topic to touch upon; so it might not be a bad thing that I "think" a gay man is straight. However, this lowers the possibility of me hooking up with someone... because I might have unknowingly turned down a lot of prospective romantic partners. Has anyone else had a similar problem? And also, does anyone have advice on how I should handle thinking this way? Logically, I know this is an absurd way of thinking, but for some unknown reason, I have been struggling with breaking this pattern for quite some time now.
I kinda do the same thing, but it's like half on-purpose. I go on assuming any guy around me is straight for the sake of modesty. and I also haven't felt a need to be with anyone. but of course if it comes, i'm for that. and I also get frustrated that I dont talk with people as I or them hope for. im not sure how i can help you. maybe looking at it more like modesty would reflect more of your conscience.
I don't think I do this on purpose; rather in my case, I think its the opposite. I'm not sure modesty has anything to do with it; but I wish that were the case. Instead, I think I just tend to assume things about people far too easily(<<--According to AA, admitting we have a problem is the first step toward recovery...) Incidentally, I am somewhat shy... not just around people I like, but in general. But I wish I would make more of an effort to meet people. Especially, now that I am in my 30's. While I don't mind being alone... I'm tired of being lonely... and I desperately crave a boyfriend. I wish it wasn't desperation, but if I'm going to be honest it is. I suppose its also the fear of not having anyone in my life as I grow older.
start catching yourself in the act of assuming things of people. do you assume other things of people besides orientation? its just a habit to be broken. go to a gay bar and start conversations. you'll make friends, maybe get with someone, and maybe develop your gaydar more so that you know when someone else is gay for sure. hahaha idk if you're desperate; www.adam4adam.com
I may check that site out later... I'm already on a dating site. Yes I know waiting for someone to come to me isn't going to work. But, unfortunately, there aren't any gay bars in my area... I live in a small town that would have pitchforks handy if it were the midieval era. I seriously doubt I'm exaggerating there. I also don't have a car... But I have been thinking about trying to get out more. The only problem is I have severe bipolar disorder... I take medicine for it, so I can't really go to a bar and drink when I'm on the meds. Also, "gaydar" is that anything like "religion-dar" or "occupation-dar", lol?
