I've recently become involved with a girl that I work with. It started out as just a crush but it's become a lot more than that...but heres the catch, shes married and has a couple kids. Her husband treats her so badly though, he has even hit her a few times. The only reason shes still with him is because her kids are still young....I think I'm in love with her
You are getting into a wasp's nest, mate. To begin with, I don't know if it ever was a good idea to get involved with someone who was already committed. People shouldn't be together only because of children. Growing up in a family where there is not love anymore isn't healthy and is probably much more harmful than going through a divorce. No one should ever ever let their partner be abusive to them, btw. I'm usually against utimatums, but you should tell her that you can't go on in that situation indefinitely, and that she must either take you or let you go. She can't have both you and her husband.
Thanks for the advice bud...yeah what you are saying is kind of what I was thinking myself. It's just hard for me to give this up because I really care about her...For the first time in a very long time I'm not just in it for the sex, I want to be with her. I just wish she would leave her husband... I also agree with what you said about just staying together for the children, and even if it did make sense I wish she would look after herself because this girl deserves the fucking world and I can tell how unhappy she is.
It also isn't good for children to see or hearing their mother being abused. My ex still remembers to this day the abuse he saw and heard his mother go through. He is emotionally unstable and every relationship he has ever been in has failed because he cheated. He never learned how to love someone but to be in love with love. You need her to leave not for you, but for herself and children. Its only going to destroy them. If she deserves the world then you'll help her do this no matter how much you think she won't, you have to try for her sake.
Yeah sticking with someone for your kids is stupid. Even if they are too young to know it yet, your kids want you to be happy. Even if it is hard on them, still it is best to show them that they should never settle for unhappy relationships and should never allow anyone to treat them badly.
It sounds like there are several problems here: 1. You are involved with a married woman, which is never respectable. 2. She is involved in an abusive relationship. 3. There are children to consider. You cannot be the catalyst that ends her marriage. It is not the right thing to do. If you give an ultimatum, it might backfire with resentment from her or the children. Also, by being in the picture, you might distract from the real reason she is ending her marriage; it is abusive and unhealthy. You are not involved in problems one and two. These are her issues to deal with. Let her work them out, and, then, if the affection is true, there will be room in her life for you. Be supportive. Don't do things that you think will help her end up with you. Do things that will be supportive of her getting out of an unhealthy relationship.
