Bf won't sleep with me!

Hi guys!

I'm having an issue atm. I've been seeing my bf for 9 months now and I know I'm ready to take our relationship to the next stage - I've been tryin to for the past month! The problem is that he won't do me, because I'm a virgin...


Several times it's gotten to the point of him nearly penetrating me, he'll lick me out, make me cum and have me laying there on his bed but just before he's about to enter me he'll back off and say something like, "I'm not sure you're ready" or, "I don't want to ruin you." It's driving me insane! I've talked to him about it and assured him that I want to but he just won't. I'm starting to think there's something wrong with me...it's not like he hasn't done it before, he's a few years older than me and has had multiple partners.

Any advice? I'm really starting to lose it. Though the oral is great...really great haha, I want to feel him in me, I want to make him feel good too. He won't even let me give him a hand job or anything.

 

where do you live?

 

I live in the UK...where do YOU live? Lol

 

Hmm, I would suggest talking with him. Tell him how much you want to have sex, and say the things you said here. Like how you want him in you. Guys like that stuff a lot. Also, assure him that he won't be "ruining you" and that you want him to be your first time.

 

USA. I have no clue what your bf's problem is but I'm certain somewhere out there would be willing to please you if he doesn't.

 

Maybe he gets off on the fact that you're a virgin. Talk dirty to him right when hes about to penetrate and moan.

 

If he won't let you touch him at all, he might be insecure about himself and only uses your virginity as an excuse.

 

Haha, I'm already moaning and quivering by this point...but still I am left wanting
I suppose I've never actually talked to him about it properly, but around a week ago I actually begged him to do me. He walked away wtf?!
Maybe he's worried he's going to hurt me or something, I don't know how because I get really wet. Sorry for the tmi, I'm just so frustrated right now :/

 

Have you tried just mounting him, honestly? Tie him up if you have to.

 

@ Mr. Writer, that may be my only option haha. I'll just have to catch hi
off guard and sit on him lol...actually starting to consider this.

 

you're a virgin and he's a few years older than you...

could he maybe be worried about the statutory rape laws?

 

Nah I'm over the legal age, so nothing wrong there. I'm gonna meet up with him today and talk to him about this.

 

I hope this was just a joke...

Reverse it... you aren't ready and he is... would you want him to do this to you?

Talking to your partner about problems and issues you are having in your relationship should come before talking to strangers online about it.

 

Has he ever done it with another virgin girl?
Talk to him openly about the fact, anyway.

 

I agree about the first part. Forcing him probably isn't the healthiest thing. Also, I think it's considered rape.

However I understand where she is coming from asking people on the internet for advice. It may give her some new insight or perspective on the situation. However, I don't think this is a substitute for actually talking to him.

 

I just wanted to get some other peoples view on it, this is the only part or the relationship that is a problem. I have brought it up with him before and as I said, he passes it off with the "ruin" thing.
Anyway, I talked to him today and it seems that he has taken someones virginity before, and she cried during and afterwards and thought it was a big mistake. Apparently they broke up because she felt dirty and used, it was too soon for her. He didn't really go into it and I didn't want to push the issuse because we'd finally started breaking some new ground. But there is definitely something odd about that, I need to hear the other side of the story. So I'm guessing that's why he won't let me touch him, in case I sully myself or something...but then why does he lick me? Surely him giving me oral would make take some of my innocence. This is too bloody confusing. It's annoying me because we get to the 11th hour and then he tells me that I'M not ready? I thought I'd be the authority on that one.

 

^ Obviously, he's afraid it will cause problems between you two, like it did with her. You just have to reassure him that you're ready and you won't blame him if it does happen to turn out you're not.

 

There is nothing wrong with asking other peoples opinions on problems you may have with your relationship, unless that is your first step.

The first step should always be to talk to your partner.

As for your bf, simply explain to him that you feel you are ready, way past ready in fact, and with him constantly refusing, you are starting to question your relationship with him.

Whatever baggage he may be carrying from a past experience, he needs to realize that there is a chance he will get the same outcome (girl being upset and breaking up with him) if he doesn't listen to what you are telling him.

 

He thinks he'll 'ruin' you? That seems like a strange term to use. How exactly would he ruin you? I agree with a previous poster that it might actually attract him that you're a virgin.

As well, you just need to explain to him that you're not that other girl. Ask him if you two have discussed sex as often as they did. Ask him how old she was (I would assume you're older) so you'd (theoretically) be more ready.

 

Maybe hes got a dirty wang.