Are we giving in or setting ourselves up? :/

As a gay 22yr male, I am always looking for different perspectives on life. Have you ever heard the notion the gays are notorious for perverted mindsets and sexual thinking? I did, and well, quite honestly, I think its somewhat true. I come to this site to discuss gay politics, and I see nothing but sexual context.

BUTT!

Its not our fault, is it? I mean if we're constantly being scrutinized for having same sex relationships, than its only natural we fall back on sex and sexual thinking. I think our minds can easily be turned to sex, because it's s.e.x. where we are deemed unnatural. Sex is fantastic, but every living sexual creature can tell you that.

Any thoughts?

 

most people have sex on their mind most of the time. big deal. sex is one of the most natural instincts we possess. it's a bit hypocritical to call anybody a pervert for that.

 

sweet

 

yeah more of the world just needs to learn to lose stupid stigmas.
But i don't see sex-lifes as being something that affects people's opinions on the subject, cuz for someone against gays, it'll only make them more disgusted, while for someone for gay rights, it'll have no relevance. so it pretty much comes down to that acceptance opinion.

it's annoying how our system is built to have to be approved by the rest of the people in legislation to do something like get married in the first place.

 

Every thread on this site mentions the word butt-plug somewhere, I promise you that.

 

lol Imaginary.

I understand what you're saying greenbama. I'm finally coming to terms with my own sexuality..and I've done some looking on forums and such for friends (a few date sites, etc..)..and it's hard to find anything other than cock pictures o.o. At least online, it seems this way. Then again, I could probably say the same for the straight community. There's a lot of horny bastards on the internet

I'll also say that there's a lot of gay individuals who feel as though they CAN'T freely express their sexuality/lifestyle..so they come online to do so. In many small towns *and i'm sure many can relate*, being gay is nothing but trouble -- yet online..the walls come down. You can express yourself as you wish, talk about things you normally couldn't, etc. So yeah.. the internet is a good place for it...and perhaps the only place for some, so it's no surprise that sexual content/discussion is all over the place in online gay communities.

 

If i want to talk about music I go to a music forum, want to talk about relationships,I go to the relationship forum

Which leaves the gay forum for what, talking about gay sex or discrimination issues, which is what most of the threads here are about

 

Perspective, there's a certain amount of stigma associated with being a 22 yr old gale male is there?

Just about all people 25ish and under are extra self focused, its natural, we all all setting up our futures at that time, once you settle in to life you'll realise just how many other groups have to deal with stigma associated with their sexuality, gender or appearance.


A lot of people have it worse than you, most of whom are straight

 

Vanilla,

I wasn't aware that people other than me have it worse. Thanks for clearing that up. Africa has it great by the way. Anyway, yes, I am super self aware and for reasons you mentioned. But that's a small reason why I have so many intrusive thoughts. Think about it. Your born with a third eye that can see things no one else can, and you can't explain what or why you see the things you do. Society has set up several reasons for your third sight, and yet, still walk around with the guilt that comes from the blame game. So naturally, I think about the origins of my thought processing. Still am left with frustrated. I am waaaay more in depth of a thinker, however, than most of the people I know. So, in some way, I can thank hate for developing my saweet as$ mind

And gay forums don't have to be solely about sex or discriminatory issues. Feelings about everyday life, our place here on earth, our culture's input (good or bad), what ways can we bring light to dark areas of society, art, music, inspiration, questions about intimacy, or other feelings. Most of us have a much deeper perspective on life, other than sex.

 

I think it's just stupid to assume anybody has it worse than anybody else. Don't listen to that silly ape boy Vanilla.

Everybody has hardships, but they present themselves differently from person to person. Being gay does have a stigma, and certain people do think gays are promiscuous- you just have to strait up ignore the ignorant.

We are all equally fucked though, end of the day

 

sex is good, real good

 

Guess I'm one of those lucky ones who never had a problem with being gay (altho I identified as bi for the past 40 years).

I live in a large metropolitan area that has to accept diversity. Tho there are surprisingly blatant anti-gay occurences in the news, that too could just be the nature of news. (The headline, "Two men kissed on Miami Avenue and no one gave a second glance" ain't gonna happen soon).

When I write of gay issues, I'm one of those who use the term "same gender" instead of "same sex." The trouble with writing about homosexuality or heterosexuality is the focus on sexuality and immediately all the insecure sex phobes see butt-fucking. (Try to convince them that most butt-fucking is done by het guys with women)

I was in a same-gender relationship, much of it celibate as we travelled the world as a couple. It was a loving relationship based on more compatibilities than sex. Neither of us was a bottom, yet I wouldn't doubt many ppl who knew of us only saw me and Jim butt-fucking.

It comes under the phenomenon of prejudice, making assumptions about someone based on misconceptions about a group of ppl.

 

what's the problem with the assumption that two people who are together are having sex? i don't get it. i assume everybody is having sex. i don't like the attitude that sex is something to be ashamed of, or something that shouldn't be freely expressed or even discussed.

we've evolved to a high level of intelligence and we still can't get past other people's opinions?

 

Meridian,

I don't see the problem with sex, in fact just by first glance you can tell I have lots of it. So I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm just saying it would be nice if that wasn't the ONLY subject being discussed all the time. The anti-gay argument that all we think about is sex, seems to be true most of the times. I just wish we could find some sense of collective thinking to prove that we contribute to society, other than flaunting our sex...

 

well, i was mostly responding to shale. he gives off an impression that he has a problem with anybody thinking he might be having (or getting) any butt-sex. which to me seems symptomatic of maladjustment.

Greenbama: i think sex is constantly on the minds of most men, not just us gays. i don't see how this is different from heterosexual guys at all.

also, some people really enjoy discussing on topics of sex, myself included. maybe gays are just more likely to discuss it because we're in relationships with men, who talk about sex more openly than women. from what i've heard from my straight friends women don't really like to discuss sex. and as a result straight guys may find themselves in a situation where they don't talk about sex as often as gays and lack the courage to talk about it more openly because they have had little serious experience talking about it (the more you are open about it with other people the more you lack the inhibition to talk on sex). and this might create an impression that gay guys think about sex more than straight guys do which i think is an absurd deduction. i have yet to meet a gay guy who thinks about sex abnormally more than any healthy straight guy.

thus such supposition is faulty, and i think it should be completely ignored.

 

No, you are way off base here - and having read my other posts on this board I am amazed that you would make such an assumption.

I thought you had been involved with the myriad of posts here that discussed the somewhat mythical mindset of many str8 guys that butt-sex was the only option for gay men. To the point that they want to know who is the wife and who is the husband and to the point that the premise of a movie Humpday had two str8 guys going to make a gay porn and having to decide who was going to be the top and having an unromantic too bright hotel room that would kill the mood of many gay men.

Perhaps I didn't express it well enuf for everyone to get it but my whole point was the preoccupation of str8 ppl with seeing gay men as ONLY being sexually motivated and the ONLY sex being butt-sex, not oral or intracrural frottage or even a relaxing massage with hand job.

And, don't know if you know this but I have posted my entire sexual history on this board, (up to 1984) which includes the butt sex I did in New Orleans as a young man with several different guys. So, no, I don't have a problem with anybody thinking I might be having butt sex. I am on public record in some detail of having it. I even tried bottom once. It hurt and I didn't enjoy it - so yes I have a problem with that. But again, I don't have any qualms about discussing it.

Well, maybe it is too late to admit to being str8, but the other side of BI is that I fucked one woman for 20 years, and she would talk quite openly about sex, both with me and amongst our friends. Could be young women today are more demure in mixed company than the young women back in the '70s who were quite open about discussing sex and also about putting moves on a guy.

I have no problems with sex or the full enjoyment thereof. Been doing it longer than you have been on the planet and have enjoyed getting down and nasty with it. I thought the issue here was the mindset that gay men are only about having sex. That is what my post was addressing.

 

Sometimes, I feel like I think about sex more than any one on the planet!! Then I remember that it's drilled into my head with nearly every advertisement, tv show, religion, book, movie, etc... And THEN I'm told I'm not supposed to be doin' it. At least not til I'm married or something.

How effin' confusing are people gonna make it? It's just sex gawdammit. Even mosquitoes do it. In public. Nobody calls them pervs.

Anyway dudes... It's not our fault. We've been conditioned.

 

my mistake then.

 

Just think for a moment about the diversity of gay men and lesbians and bisexuals and trans people. Pretty much the only thing we have in common with one another is that we are sexually and romantically attracted at least some of the time to members of our own gender or sex.

The political experience of being gay or lesbian or bisexual or trans varies from time to time and place to place. The issues that touch us most directly tend to be issues about sex. How do I get some? How do I get some more? Am I doing this the right way? And so it goes.

 

Or even if you don't actively cruise for sex there are time you find yourself with a 20-something's wood-hard cock in your mouth and you're saying ThankYouThankYouThankYou! (But it just sounds like your humming)