making friends

seriously... how does one do this?

i'm a grown woman with basically no friends.. sure i have a few that i never see and internet friends don't exactly count either..

i feel i have nothing in common with a lot of people.. or they just annoy the shit out of me.

 

when you find out let me know :biggrin: i'm so awkward in social places. i think i'm about to stop fighting it.

 

There was a time in my life when I could go out and talk to people and make friends with ease...

It's actually still true in a way now... I say in a way, because I don't do it anymore. Making friends was always easy when I wanted it, unfortunately I discovered that just because I thought someone was a friend, didn't mean squat, as to most people (in my experience) friendship means very little. I have the scars to prove that.

Making true friends... that one is hard... no, thats not right... it isn't hard, just a rare occurrence...

Be who you are, be proud of it and you will attract similar people to you over the years.

However, if its just the 'typical' friendship you are looking for, as in the superficial, stab you in the back when you turn around type, I can help you with that.

Go meet people and ask them about themselves.
Mention their name frequently (although not constantly) when talking to them.
Exhibit similar body language that they do, without mimicking them.

 

will do..

i'm beyond awkward.. so much that i just don't even talk. i assume i make others feel even more awkward.

 

ahahah i can't even do that... seems people will only be my "friend" when i have something they want.. .. i have nothing.

 

i can sympathize. i like to think i'm slowly figuring things out a bit more...who knows.

 

Actually that was the point of those three tips... if you want to be superficial, you can have what the majority wants in a friend... someone who will be focused on them and their issues...

I should point out that I am in no way advocating going this route. I am of of the opinion that I would rather have the handful of friends that I have, that I can trust, rather then dozens that I can't. And as I said the first time, that is a slow process when you aren't 'normal'.

 

yes.. exactly.. even the friends i do have.. i don't feel i can talk to. it gets pretty lonely.

 

maybe people annoy the shit out of you. I mean believe it or not, concert people are chill to talk to, or summer get together your town has.

Personally people annoy the hell out of me. Im really picky with who i pick to be friends. Especially girls. I only have a hand full of chick friends. they are really chill though, other ones are too dramatic.

 

it's hard to make friends sometimes.

I either chat online on dating sites or randomly talk to people on the street.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4NkyWXfofM&feature=related"]YouTube- Whodini - Friends (1984)

...

 

I think going to do things is a good way to meet potential friends. For example go to a gym, and try their fitness classes. There are usually a variety of ages and types of people. If nothing else, you can say "phew, that was a workout" or something along those lines as a conversation starter.

 

yeah i was thinking of taking a class or something just to meet people. i have tried that in the past without much success.. but it wouldn't hurt to try again.

 

Do you have a local YMCA or interesting church near by? They seem to have more open people. People that may be new to town and looking for the same thing as you?

 

church? no... and most gyms would kick me out..

i was thinking karate or a sewing class.

 

Hi, I socialise a lot, know a shit load of people of both sexes but I don't class any of them as friends, only acquaintances. I think to let someone into your life fully is a very difficult thing to do.Joining a class or gym or whatever will help you meet more people but on a relatively superficial level. True friendshhip is a whole other ball game. I personally prefer to keep my own council when it comes to important stuff but then again I'm quite happy with myself and most importantly trust my own judgement. I truly hope you get out there and meet some new people.

 

Those sound like good ideas. I am also taking a drawing class at our local junior college, and even though drawing certainly is not my "thing," there are definitely some interesting people in the class. A lot of students, but there are also a handful of middle aged people as well. Everybody is really nice because it is really difficult for most of us.

 

Hello,

that's not true if your on-line personality is not a complete fake.

Regards
Gyro

 

yes.. i try to be myself online.. which is a lot easier than in person. but i have nothing material for these shallow people to want.. so they don't bother to get to know me.

 

Hello,

I though the part about having nothing was a metaphor. Well, since a few years I too have no friends. It's not that I'm shy or that I have some 'major design flaws', except that I have own opinions and style and that I do the things the way I like to do them. I know that I might be somewhat strange to people that don't know me. But well, there are not many complains from people who know me better, so I don't want to change that. I often don't feel the urge to talk to people, that doesn't help getting to know people I guess.

Your livestyle, Boogabah, is so different from mine. But there is nothing wrong with your on-line personality, looks sympatico to me. That doesn't mean that we could get along IRL. Perhaps we would kill each other with a fork within 24 hours . But there are people for everyone of us. Even if it takes a long time to find (or to perceive) them.

Regards
Gyro