sex fucks shit up

SERIOUSLY.

I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and 1 month now. I love her, more than anything. Lately though, I've become extremely frustrated with the lack of sex. During the first couple months of our relationship we had sex at least 2-3 times a week. Eventually we started seeing more of each other so we started having sex more often. Well, I've noticed the past couple months that we've been together, that we have sex maybe once a month. This frustrates me.. When I actually had sex more often I rarely thought about sex, now though it's constantly bugging me. Not only did the sex change but so didn't she, she used to be so 'flirty' with me, playful so to say but not anymore. ANYTIME I ever bring this up and try to find out the problem, or even just when I pop a perverted joke into the air she simply 'jumps my ass' with questions like, "is sex all you think about?" etc etc. She tells me she doesn't want a lot of sex right now so we can work on our relationship, she also says that anytime I say ANYTHING sex related she feels like shit because it makes her feel like all I want is sex...

Honestly, this offends me. I open up to her more than she has ever opened up to me. I constantly tell her everyday how much I love her and so on. All I ask is for a little more sex... We see each other every weekend, sometimes just one day out of the week because of current situations BUT STILL... I want more sex, period. Anytime though I want to talk about it, or even just be playful about something she simply shoots me down by saying all I want is sex.... another odd thing is that she always said she'd never want to be the couple that rarely has sex, that she couldn't live without out it... yet now, she says shit like, "honestly, I could live without it."

wtf?

 

LOLZ


Translation: She Wants her Daddy Again

Heres a hint, try find out what her dad use to call her when she was little, run your fingers through her hair look deep in her eyes, then call her that name, watch what happens

Or find one thats not daddies little princess and she probably bang your brains out for ever and ever

 

Typial male response

 

I may be late here but uhh... did she end up being pregnant?

and LOL "I open up to her and tell her how much I love her"
you should do that to be sincere, not to ensure sex.

if you "love" this girl "more than anything" then deal with your hand playa. sometimes peoples sex drives aren't compatible with their partners needs/wants. it happens.

 

luckily, no.

I never do that to ensure sex, what I meant was; our relationship is always on my mind and I ALWAYS show that, but anytime I mention sex, she says all I think about is sex.

Honestly, I just don't know whats wrong with wanting our sex life the way it was before...

 

So, be the romantic boyfriend for a night..... when I say this I mean cuddle her and kiss her forehead and be all...I don't know sentimental. Then maybe spoon, spooning always leads to forking. Press your hard on against her ass, but then apologize saying you just can't help it because she's so beautiful. Oh....if you do that you are soooooooooooooooo getting laid man.

 

lmao

 

It sounds to me like she was sexual when she was trying to win you; now that she has you - she doesn't see the point in having sex.

You need to talk to her about it. Ask her why she doesn't want to have sex with you. Come from a vulnerable position, stress that while she feels that she is working on the relationship more by not having sex, you feel like it is hurting the relationship, and it is leaving you feeling unwanted.

Basically, you have to get her to either:
open up about why she doesn't want to have sex
realize that relationships need constant work (and yes, that includes sexually)
or realize the importance of connecting physically sometimes

You also have to avoid/overcome:
Her ability to turn this on you (the whole "is sex all you care about?" spiel)
Her ability to make your requests seem unfair/irrational

This is your relationship too. Your needs need to be met too. 'Bout time she recognizes.

NO. This is only rewarding her for her current behavior. This will lead into a relationship full of sex-only-when-seduced. Each time you want sex, you'll have to work harder and harder.
Do NOT do this.
Relationships should be companionship, they should be compromise; doing this gives her the pants completely.

 

sounds like you two don't have similar needs or desires at the moment and a breakup could solve your problem

i really think it's as simple as that..
maybe before that you could try to have an open dialogue about your needs and talk about why it's important to you and see if she's able to meet you halfway.

 

She said she doesn't want a lot of sex right now because she wants to work on the relationship - so what's up with it? If I am having problems with my relationship, or partner, I don't feel like having lot's of sex.

And wildflowers - if my partner said he couldn't help his hard on because I am just so beautiful, he would not be getting laid!!

 

He hasn't mentioned any problems EXCEPT for her not having sex though..

He's mentioned the current situation allowing them little time to see each other - but I don't see why that should cause tension within their relationship..

OP- Are there other problems?

 

No, but that doesn't mean that there aren't any. Besides, just because he doesn't feel there are any problems, doesn't mean that she thinks that their relationship is fine and dandy.

I love how the majority of answers here are suggest that the woman is playing a game, and is her choice or fault

 

Wait till she's asleep and just STICK IT IN! lmao

 

Girlfriend is not the problem, lack of sex is. You do not need a partner to have sexual activity. If you satisfy the hormonal directive, you will feel more free to direct yourself.

 

I don't think that at all.

Vanilla_Gorilla - yes
raz - no
wild-flowers - no
me - I'm bias can't comment
DazedGypsy - no
you - hell no

You're just lumping me in with Vanilla_Gorilla and calling it the majority, when the majority clearly isn't Vanilla_Gorilla.

I don't think she's playing a game, I think she's taking advantage of common perception. Which is that "all men want is sex" and "women shouldn't be pressured into sex" and "relationships aren't about sex".

She doesn't want to have sex. He wants to have sex. She relies on the combination of these common thoughts to get her way, make him seem wrong in comparison to these (all summed up together in the nice little clause "Is sex all you think about?")

What he has to do, is get her to realize that sex is important to their relationship - as it's important to him - either get her to compromise with him - or they need to find a new arrangement.

 

I can see the frustration here..
Why dont you just do something nice for her..
If she really doesnt budg then she might be
lossing it for you..idk just saying..

 

Honestly, there are not really much of any major problems going on at the moment. Before, there were a little bit of communication problems but other than that, we fixed mostly everything but this. She doesn't show me the attention she did before, it seems like the spark is already gone and it has only been one year.

I talked with her about it this morning, I explained how I feel like I wasn't what she wanted anymore etc etc... she tried the whole "sex isn't everything" and "all you think about is sex" bs and it frustrated the hell out of me. I explained that sex isn't everything, but it does play a big role in a relationship... I'm not asking for tons of sex, i'm just simply asking for more than once a month. We had sex over this previous weekend and it just felt awkward... because I felt like we were doing something she didn't want, that isn't healthy for a relationship, I shouldn't feel that way... -.-

 

Seems like it might be time to move on perhaps, looks like you guys are on two different wavelengths.

 

I wasnt saying she was playing a game, I was suggesting thats the way she's been trained.

If she is the daddys little princess type, then the first 15 years of her life she was trained on sitting and cuddling on the couch = non sexual bond with adult male

So after a couple of months, once the animal is over and you start just sitting on the couch cuddling more it takes her back to when she was little on the couch getting a cuddle from her dad.

Not saying its premeditated, its instinctive.

You can argue against that, but all ones that are like that, are like that, and are in deep denial about the influence of the father. Just like all males that are mommies boys are in deep denial about the influence of the mother.

All theories aside its just boring, she doesnt want to have sex so you can both learn to communicate effectively in a relationship, learn to express your feelings better....yawn, I wanna shoot myself in the head just typing that.

Two years in, arent you both going to be happier if she's attacking your load in much the same way a puppy attacks a water sprinkler

 

^^^ This. I got sick of making the moves on my man all the time, so I just stopped. He never makes the first move, so we never have sex anymore lol. So I just take care of it myself, and we're both happy.

The sex situation always changes after 1 year because couples generally become lazy. After a year of having cock/pussy on demand, you stop working as hard to get to the sex.. you know, less flirting, the "magic" fades, you mope around the house in PJs and sweats instead of cute little clothes.

Buy her something nice or take her out to dinner. Always works for my bf