I have been considering volunteering. it might helpe to see people more destitute than I am currently. keep in mind people get shot at almost daily in my neighborhood. it's almost as bad as it gets. and I have been doing the legal work free, except for 6 months where I got $500 a week. I've been doing it to hopefully help set important precendents. but that shit doesn't matter right now, seeing as how i'm about to legit be on the street. at least it is warm where I live. and spring is approaching, so I can head north to dc in search of some work
My fits of rage are short.... Soo I just try and focus on something else. And get away from everyone.
I have learned to do that ad well. but now I feel that my ability to be relaxed and chill is being stripped from me as a result of my financial situation and lack of employment. maybe my answer is just going to a different state. I don't even know at this point
Damn man. Well put, I enjoyed reading. Perhaps your "poor" "financial" situation and "lack of" "employment" is the perfect opportunity to step back from "the swing" and take a good deep look into "all" of it. Sure, we strive to maintain, but maintaining comes one minute at a time, one need at a time. Do what you can do right now, and be happy with that, if you can. I say if you can because you may not see right now the point in doing so, but dwelling on what currently can not be changed isn't very beneficial to your present state of "comfort". Maybe you can see why? Forgive your circumstances to relax about it and drop it, then see what you can do to change it now, or even what you need to change now. Best of luck man. Matter of fact, I was thinking today, why go down and be down just because everybody else seems to do it and get away with it? And do it to others? And ignore what is seemingly more important in life? And all I realized then, was what it meant, and the value of, when one says two wrongs don't make a right. Keep that fire man.
in the past few days while waiting for eviction, Ive come to peace with a lot of things and don't feel that anger. there is a lot of wisdom in this thread. I will reread it at any point my mind starts to regress toward self pity and anger. at this point I have my health, presumably. I have my mind, companion animals, music, books, a laptop, car, and a garage to sleep in at night when that eviction does come. I have a skill with my hands and a skill with my mind. things can only get better from here.
I'd suggest you still look into the whole volunteering thing even though you have that spot to crash. I know when I was working at that Methodist Church in St Louis it did help allot to be able to simply put my skills to use in and of itself let alone the fact that I was doing it to help an organization which was doing so much to help so many Averaged 900 hot meals a day as well as providing a hub of access to many various social services for the Homeless. Another thing to consider re: volunteering is that you may just find a few windows of opportunity amongst the other Volunteers while you're there. Most of those Old Churches that provide such services really cant afford things like contractors or Handymen, or if they can they simply feel the money could be put to better use helping the homeless. And it might just land you your dream job, or at least a job that can lead you to your dreams. Good to see you're hangin' in there. :cheers2: (Is that other post of mine starting to make a bit more sense to you these days?)
i swallow it all down until it starts coming out all wrong as irrationality, depression, panic and self loathing.
*chuckles* i couldn't help giggling. it all went so wrong so quickly. i can believe our floor isn't ruined.
Depends on the social stature of the target usually, are they well guarded or well known. I mean if someone isn't going to be missed either way, it's not hardly worth the cost of a bullet now is it?
