Red eyes, orange flame, green jane; A rainbow for my brain. Pass the grass, to the left is what they teach you in class: Smoking etiquete 101, Make sure everyone has some fun. Let the chemicals free your mind, We only like the natural kind. Mother Earth has given us a gift, Come with me and we could lift To the sky, reach cloud nine, We could drift away, leave it all behind. We will find freedom In the Weed Kingdom.
This opening is great. I felt you drop the flow after this...to me, it sort of lost the smoothness. You should use this opening again and write new material. Like a different version. Just a thought.
Yea I was thinking the same thing..that tends to happen with all my poems. The beginnings are usually just spontanious ideas that come into my head and then the rest I try to think out and it never works very well. I'm gonna keep on trying tho and one day go back and revise all my stuff
