I need some advice, please be open minded...

Hi

i am in a bit of a dilemma at the moment, because I can't talk to any of my friends or work colleagues about it though. But here goes....

Way back in June last year, i hired an escort for the first time, I don't really need to pay for sex, I'm pretty attractive (although people tell me I'm stunning, but i don't really think i am), anyway the guy was really nice, I had fancied him for ages because he also has a normal profile on gaydar as well as a commerical one.

Basically, we met, didn't have sex, just kissed and cuddled, I met him about 3 other times, up until about august, then I decided just to not see him again, partly because of money and because I just felt that he was too good to be an escort. He told me the same thing, that I should believe in myself more etc, etc... I won't bore you with the details. But we never had sex, just talked.

I haven't seen him since august, the last time I hired him. A few weeks later he stopped escorting.

He lives close to me, and I've recently seen him on my mate's facebook.
I was considering adding him as a mate, I just want to tell him that i'm sorry, I don't know why, I don't regret meeting him, but I want to know that he's ok, and I hope he isn't ashamed about that part of his life and how great it was to meet him.

Or should i just leave it, do you think he would want to hear from me again?

 

i doubt it...

a whore is a whore...


best leave it be, he was and is still a whore. you were and are still a john.

so if it really is behind you, no pun intended, then for fucks sake let it stay that way

 

how do you know he isn't wondering why you haven't been in touch? It wont hurt to add him, he can only refuse and at least you will know.Think about it though, if you got together with him, could you trust him? would you keep bringing up the past in argument? It is a difficult one, but if you really like him, and in your heart it feels right, then go for it.

 

dang youre not very open-minded like he asked. u sound like an ass, dude

What is there to apologize about? Talk to him if you wanna talk to him but leave all that shame crap behind, seriously. And i would think if anyone is to be ashamed, it would be you, especially cuz u didnt have sex (if you guys had sex, what youre saying would make more sense).
and i personally think it's nothing to be ashamed about. a whore is a person and a person is a person just like you.
just who gives a shit.

 

You have nothing to lose. Just go for it.

 

Beautiful!!!

 

You know nothing about him. All you know about is the persona he adopted to please his client. (Apparently, he was a good escort. He pleased his customer, generating repeat buisness.)

If you connect with him, is your intent to hire him? Or are you hoping that his real persona will be as interesting as his professional one?

 

this is what i was getting at...


he is and was playing you... for your money. and he didn't even have sex with you.


and as i've known hookers(females) they are damaged goods. i sold weed to a whore a bunch of times and she had no sense of self-worth and no respect for those that paid for her services.

so i'm not trying to stereotype your gay escort "crush", but if the shoe fits.

 

You just did...

You've known SOME hookers, and they had no self worth or respect, so all are like that?

Fucking grow up...

 

I'd say send a message and if he replies with a positive connotation, add him.

 

if you REALLY like each other, and the past doesn't bug you, then try and contact him. Worst case scenario, it was all pretend would you feel really bad about it if it was?

 

hey fucko, i'm just trying to relate my experience to his... because that is what he asked for.

if he wanted to hear only one perspective on the situation(i.e. "go for it man!") then he shouldn't have asked on an open free speech forum.

to the OP:this isn't Pretty Woman... hooker with a heart of gold. this is real life. and the sum of my experiences tells me this is a bad idea.

it sounds like you have a clouded judgment and definitely needs to make a reality check.

think about it... living the role of a prostitute long enough... and the habits and survival instincts of a prostitute becomes a part of their personality. just as any other profession. and as much as we'd like to think that we are not our jobs, that is exactly what we are.

 

That applies to all, not just to you, so stop whining about me expressing my opinion.

 

then don't tell me to grow up when i have an opinion of my own.

your having an opinion about the topic at hand is no call to belittle me by telling me to grow up.

 

What part of this are you having a problem understanding? I have the right to free speech, just like you, and part of that does include my opinion of your opinion.

At no point in time did I tell you that you couldn't have your opinion, I told you that you should grow up, which is my opinion based on your words...

If you don't like it... TOO FUCKING BAD...

 

all i'm thinking is... get off your high horse

if this is how you act IRL towards people with beliefs and experiences contrary to your own... sigh.

 

When their beliefs are based on intolerance and prejudice, as a matter of fact, I do act that way.

As for my high horse... Why would I, so I could wallow in the shit with you? HA!

 

Touché. Now about the guy's dilemma. Inviting him to be a friend in Facebook seems like a good idea. A rejection is easier to handle in the privacy of your own home. Nothing to lose my man.

 

you dont know me or how my experience affects my opinions...

you've made assumptions that my instincts on this situation are based on prejudice and not cast in the foundry of my own legitimate life experience.

that i'm wary of the scum sucking behavior of a narrow cross section of the underbelly of society is not something i picked up on the morning news.


so i see you have every dimension of my personality mapped in exact detail. the north and south of me are intolerance and prejudice. my west wallows in shit and my east bows to your smugness.

 

Good point, to the OP, sorry for running off on a tangent without even speaking to the issue directly...

Talk to him, the worst that can happen then is he says he isn't interested and you can move on, otherwise all there is, is for you to regret and wonder what might have happened...