Well you are obviously using it as an experimental fertilizer for your Bonzai tree fascination, what else?
my first time getting 2ci i told the dude i was testing it with rats to study the affects it had on alzheimers
this is easy. the source knows obviously that you're using it for recreational purposes but it's just to save their asses if they ever did get in shit they could show the authorities "see it wasn't for human consumption!" say this... you are using it to research the malleability of long chain polymers. your company is zorbini research. easy enough
yup. you will use 2ce and 2ci as molecular weight standards. they are perfect for this because they are very close in structure and therefore molecular weight, but different enough to show a small difference in mass. you are trying to separate other compounds that are very close in molecular weight.
it's offensive that these guys doubt your contribution to your local scientific research community! what's a botanist to do!?