Girlfriend has never cum

We've been dating for three years, and we are each other's first and only real sexual partner. She's grown up in a house with 5 siblings and has never masturbated outside of my view.

I've given her orgasm symptoms and have even, according to your fellow posters, given her minigasms. She is quite a hornball and enjoys everything sexual we try, except she always stops me when she's about to cum.
She says it feels weird, and doesn't have much more to say about it.

I don't want her to miss out, and at first I felt like I was missing out too (but now that's a real minuscule feeling, as hell I get her off even if I don't get her off), but I'm NOT going to do what some friends have suggested and just not stop when she wants me to.
It's getting less frequent that she reaches the point that she has to stop me and I'm afraid she's building up a sort've orgasm tolerance or something =P

I've thought maybe I could show her a website for females about orgasms, or maybe I could just show her some amateur porn of chicks really cumming (she's cool) and it might raise her interest.. but really, I'm lost.

Any thoughts?

 

Yeah: don't overthink this and don't try to "fix" her. If she's happy and enjoys sex, leave things alone. See, women don't work the same as us men, and even orgasmic women don't require The Big O every time, or, in your girlfriend's case, at all. My feeling is that it will come in good time, pun intended.

I'm also thinking of a couple of girlfriends who couldn't take any more stimulation as they orgasmed -- especially during oral -- and essentially begged me to stop. Not all women's orgasms are the same, and she might be stopping you simply because she was done. As I noted above, don't work on this too hard.

 

Why does she make you stop before she orgasms? You should talk to her about it, and tell her you REALLY wanna make her feel good and get off. I'm sure she enjoys the sex anyway.. I just don't understand why she won't let you get her off.

Unless she had some kind of insecurity about it. I remember when me and my first boyfriend would had sex I would never let him eat me out. He would try and I would push his head away cause I was just insecure.

 

I think people sometimes make too big a deal over orgasms. Honestly, I don't really care if my girl orgasms or not, so long as she enjoys the sex and has a good time. Of course, it's rare that a girl wouldn't orgasm if all the above happened anyways... but I certainly wouldn't be bummed out if she didn't (or even couldn't get off).

Now if she was stoping in the middle of sex (for whatever reason, particularly for something as strange as her not wanting to have an orgasm) that would just piss me off. And honestly, if that habbit didn't change QUICKLY I'd be finding another sex partner.

 

hippie as good advice, just try talking about it again

 

I agree.

Also, if she grew up hearing negative things about premarital sex, either from her parents or at church, there could be some deep feelings of guilt associated with enjoying it too much.

 

Really, I agree with all you guys. I don't think orgasms are nearly as big of a deal as the mainstream makes of it - and I've always figured if she's loving it, that's good enough. It's just I really like cumming myself and every few months, I get a feeling that it's unfair that I don't do the same to her, or that she's making herself miss out.

Already said it, it makes her feel weird. She's quiet and not very introspective, can't get much more out of her.

Luckily or not, we haven't hit that point during intercourse.


I will talk to her more, and thanks all.

 

If she WANTS to cum, I suggest you introduce her to the teaching of Betty Dodson, and leave her alone for awhile with some almond oil and a vibrator.

If she is OK with not cumming, then just get over it and realise that not all sex has to end in orgasm.

 

Studies have shown that only about 25%of women can cum form intercourse alone, another 25% from intercourse plus clitoral massage, 25% from masturbation alone, and 25% or so seldom or never get orgasms. It is not your fault. Try to get her off with a G Spot orgasm. PM me for help.
---the G Spot master

 

There's no use talking to her, she isn't going to tell you the truth.

Especially if that truth is either going to hurt you, or make you think she is a freak.

Oh, she can cum, what it actually takes, and why she doesnt want to with you are two things you are going to have to work out by yourself

 

I'd almost put money on her being "a squirter" and feeling nervous about a sensation like she has to take a piss coming on.

 

Nope, this thread made me decide to talk to her (sorry for not updating you guys)

She told me that it's probably just because of it starting to feel weird.
I asked her if she had any interest, and she told me yeah, but she's nervous. And I explained to her that I just really want to make her feel good and that I feel unfair that she gives me orgasms all the time and she never lets me reciprocate.
I asked again if she would want to, and she said yes but there's the weird feeling. And I asked her if it's bad or just unusual, and she said it's just unusual. I can't remember what I said, but somehow I reassured her that weird isn't always bad.
I asked her if she wanted to try it and when she said yes I told her to relax and not focus on the weird feeling.

Well, when we were fooling around that time, she was way less into it at first (she's usually very expressive), and then she started to get more into it eventually, and then it got tight and painful.

She's had minor surgery since, so that was the last time we've fooled around and it's going to be at least a couple more weeks before she can again.


So, I definitely think it could be helpful to find some information built to calm nerves, and it seems like that's probably the main thing.

That's so funny, when I was asking her about the feeling, she wasn't really being too descript, so I asked her if it was this or that, and the last one I asked her was if it felt like she had to pee, and she said "yeah, but not just that"

 

Not funny really. I've known a a handful of Ladies with similar issues.
A good hour long massage, some good relaxants of either chemical or musical form (DCD or some Trance etc.) or both and some Nag Champa or Dragon's Blood resin and that should help ease her past the point of "no return".

If She's not into drugs, at least get her to try some Valerian root as it has some calming affects to it. Worst case, try some of the sedative teas like sleepytime or something if she's that anti-drug.
Keep things mellow and sensuous, no "jackrabbit fucking". Keeping a "Magic bullet" handy to stimulate her clit a bit more toward the end will help allot too.

 

She's not into drugs much at all (not even marijuana =( ) and I don't have the money for most of that holistic stuff, but Valerian root's more common of a treatment so probably cheaper.. but still, I doubt it'd be her taste.

The music choice seems like it could be very helpful to consider, so does the vibe thing. Thanks for the tips.


Oh, and Vanilla Gorilla, if you've read this post, thanks to you too, I meant to thank you for the healthy dose of cynicism your post added to this thread, and I mean that sincerely, I just forgot mid-post, prolly cause you were wrong this time

 

Mmmmm Hmmmm,

Fair enough, lets start from the top then.

Why exactly do you assume the "problem" lies with her?

 

Because I'm not the one that's stopping me when I'm about to make her cum? =S

I think this talk is rather pointless until she is all healed and we are getting naughty again, really, cause our last talk/naughty-time leads me to believe it's just nervousness

 

Better start using plastic bedsheets just in case. Nudge nudge (I think nudge nudge, wink wink needs an emoticon of it's own. )

 

sounds like she can cum, you're not her first and your lack of skill in the bedroom is disturbing to me.

 

I know I should just ignore this post, but exactly what makes you think that I'm not really her first?


Oh, and I reread Vanilla Gorilla's post and thought I should clarify that I used to get her to that point where she would feel weird and stop me all the time. I didn't want to push her, and basically ignored it for years.
Over time she was stopping me less and less, and now it only happens once every 3 or 4 or so times we mess around.
So, I still get her to that point about a quarter of the time, and that's why I know I could do it if she relaxed.

One thing my friends used to tell me is not to stop when she wants me to, I'm thinking of talking to her about that.. either ask if she can stop me only if it starts to hurt, or ask her if I can ignore her when she's stopping me and tell her to relax instead of stopping...