first i should set it up i guess. i'm very liberal as is my whole family. my mom's best friend since the second grade is an openly gay man i'll call jim. jim lives in another state but visits us every year around christmas. we all love him, he's a member of our family. we all believe that anyone should be allowed to marry whomever they love. i dreamed this the night before i was supposed to visit a charismatic church with a friend, so maybe that has something to do with it. i'm not ordinarily a churchgoer, and when i do visit it's at the universalist unitarian church. i'm totally agnostic. well, at the start of the dream i was looking in on jim's family and they were crying about something. next i'm in my house and my mom is crying. she lets me listen to a voicemail and it's jim, calling to tell us he just found out that he only has a few more hours to live- AIDS has finally caught up with him, and in a few hours he wil be gone and he just wanted to tell us all one last time how much he loves us and to please not be sad. flash forward and a friend and i are standing in jim's apartment, looking in the window at all his things. flash forward again, we're standing inside and we notice that jim's cell phone is on the table. a text message is coming in. we try to open it and it instead goes to call log and shows the same jumble of letters over and over (in the dream i understood that to be the person who was with jim in his last hours) suddenly we are in jim's bedroom and an angel is standing there. i am in awe of this angel's beauty and then suddenly he looks evil. he points at me and screams "why didn't you save jim? you want to know what life is like for him now?" i suddenly end up on the floor, naked. this angel throws a red hot iron at me, so i back up until i am in the closet, which suddenly has become a tiny, cramped elevator. he thrusts another iron into my hands and demands that i burn myself, because that is how hell feels and it is where jim is and where i'm going. he starts burning the top of my head with hot metal and suddenly the elevator creeps down a little. i'm screaming and crying at the top of my lungs and begging him to stop it all. he tells me no and that i will be miserable for all eternity now just like jim. the elevator begins the plunge down into the depths and i scream and struggle to get out and stay in the apartment. as it descends i wake up, so freaked out and terrified. so yeah...WHAT THE FUCK does this dream mean/represent/symbolize? and why did i dream it?
