sex life/relationship problem..help!

me & my boyfriend have been dating for aobut 7 months now.. i love him with my whole heart!! But there is one thing that is REALLY bothering me.. I have a self esteem problem.. why? i dont know - couldnt tell ya. but ive lived with it my whole life... I feel like our sex life is sooo boring & dull because i cant be as sexy as i wanna be.. I cant even be sexy for myself let alone my boyfriend. I've been really sexy & exciting with past boyfriends.. but i feel like my current boyfriend has brought me down because he doesnt tell me how hot/sexy/beautiful i am .. like i need to be told. I need help! && i deffinetly need to learn how to love myself. Any advice?? this is really getting to me

 

i mean.. i think you're pretty sexy

 

You have to tell him this, my dear.

 

exactly, as hard as we try, we cant read minds..

 

let yuor boyfriend know what you need to hear from him...

 

Yeah, true, but then again she's asking for help in the love and relationships board, and not the acid trips one. It just appears excessive and off-topic in this instance; don't get me wrong, while I am aware it could potentially help her, that's just the thing, only potentially. Do we really need drugs just for her to say to her boyfriend that she needs to be told that she's sexy? Of course not. Is there anything wrong with wanting that in first place? Of course not. It definitely adds to the fire of the sexual experience if that's your thing.

I think the best cure here is honest communication, for better or worst. A relationship without communication, isn't really much of a relationship.

 

Eh', it just struck me that she was sounding somewhat needy and insecure with needing to be told such and such which imho is a problem to be corrected not one to be condoned and supportive of. But of course, that is just what it is, my opinion. I was merely giving it.

 

try something different in the bedroom

 

Sounds like the current one is too hot for you, dump this one and then aim lower next time.

That might sound mean at first, but its all about security, you are not going to feel relaxed until he is all focused on you. You're not going to feel sexy until its a guy that is about to bust a nut trying to get into your pants.

In a relationship, the girl should always be hotter than the guy.

So find a less hot guy, make him jump through hoops for you, leave the hot guys for the 10 minute trist in the Nightclub bathroom stall

 

LOL there's some screaming truths in there. The Reacher and the Settler

 

How sexy is your boyfriend. Get into him rather than worry about whether he is into you.

 

OH shit you have a dating chip installed too?

 

Basic principle, universally applied.

 

thankls for all the advice here guys.. but i need some advice on learning how to love myself & be comfortable with myself... i meditate daily & paint regularly but nothing seems to help. im stuck!! gahhhhh so frustrating.

 

Well do you find many flaws with yourself to keep you from doing such? If so, what's the basis for these feelings? Are the reasons in the forefront of your mind or elusively lurking in the shadows of your conscious thought process? Do you need to eliminate the basis of these thoughts i.e. negative input to self image from parents or other peers or do you need to work on character flaws which are already self apparent to you?

 

Do things that make you feel sexy! try to think what makes you feel sexy. dancing makes me feel that way, or buying a sexy little number to wear for the bf that shows off what you like best about yourself.
I think it is really hard to deal with self-esteem issues, learn to let go and know that everybody has some things they don't like about their body.
Maybe ask you boyfriend what he likes , and then go off that.
im not sure if this is good advice BUT i teach dance so my bf always wanted me to dance for him, i never could because i was too self conscious. One day i promised him I would. So I faked feeling sexy and then i got more comfortable with my act and actually felt really sexy. So sometimes you have to act the part to get into the part.
hope that helps.
peace.love.light

 

Zorba, Fritz and tightroller: I've deleted your posts as you can see. You may continue discussing LSD in the Psychedelics forum if you wish.

 

This seems like really good advice.