i wrote another poem

this time it's about my smoking experience i had 15 minutes ago
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my breath smells of smoke and *wine
god knows i'm feelin' fine

crazy tingling all around
common sense can't be found

i breathe in the smoke
and i feel the satisfaction of another toke

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*i drank wine a couple minutes ago to cover up the smoke smell in my mouth

peace

 

negative.

 

you don't like?

 

use more adjectives...

and dont rhyme

 

oh...adjectives

 

Smoked tea, right?

 

I don't like poetry unless it's rap or sheil silverstein. But yeah its not horrible i guess you got some good rhymes.

 

thanks

 

I think it needs worked on.
a lot.

 

just keep working at it in *all* states of mind.
thats what i do XD (though sometimes Its more me being drawn on paper infront of me then me drawing anything at all).

 

would be good as song lyrics