why is it so f***ing hard for my parents to accept who I am? damn church etc...

First I'd like to say that I'm for everyone practicing what they want... I'm not bashing a religion here at all...

I grew up in a catholic family, but since 16 I haven't practiced... instead I practice wicca...

So I'm pretty open with it, not flaunting or anything... my family knows what I practice and why... but my parents insist on turning every conversation not only into one trying to convert me back to catholicism but on top of that, make it in to some stupid arguement. I mean, what the hell?

Is there some rule in christianity that you have to be some hard core bible thumper that you can't accept others for thinking differently than you? It's so stupid.

 

if i can remember right, there is a passage from the bible that goes something like this "bless'd are those who are persecuted for rieitegousness, for theirs is the ingdom of heaven"...doesn't say you have to be christian...thats my technicallity i hope to get in on if i am wrong....


And about your delemna, it may just be because they are unaccoustmed to the true meanings that you beleive in, not the whole "witches are the devils friends" from the old days.....let them in to the meaning it has for you, and they may understand....

 

*HUGS*
M'dear, I so understand what you are feeling. Some folks simply are ingrained in their thinking and can't seem to open up and accept that someone resonates to something different than their norm. Just their way. If I have learned anything in 36 years it is family is what you make it. Took my mother a good 14 years to understand that this was no "phase" and while she can never say she accepts, her Yule gift last year of herb jars and colored candles for my altar was a peace offering I treasure. You never know what may happen down the road, but do know that there are those here who love you and understand you for all that you are now.
Bright Blessings to you sister.

 

The bible is just the bible. It is the church that created all the dogma around it. Remind your parents that you are a good person, and that there is no reason you are not deserving of their respect. Point out that you don't give them a hard time about their beliefs, and ask them to just agree to disagree, and move past it.

Religion can sometimes make you bull-headed and intolerant if you aren't careful. My father was the same way, he was a pretty conservative baptist.

 

So may I ask, what made you decide you are wican? Let's be fair here. Is it something you believe because of backed up evidence in history and your heart? Or is it because some girlfriends of yours thinks it's cool to be "different" so you jumped in on it?

I have a friend that is a true wican, and he laughs at most of the people that think they are. They don't really understand what it is and by far most of them don't even know the history.It seems that more and more young people are taking up refuge with the wican ideas simply because it reflects so much of what they want and who they are in their life. Simply put, rebelion.

Now you can yell at me and call me closed minded, thats fine. I just want to know what made you believe you are wican?

 

it will still freak your folks out, but you could start up with the unitarians...

there are certainly UU congregations around that sponsor CUUPS groups, and within these groups you will find fellow worshippers of the great mother goddess in her many guises...

blessed be...

(p.s. & please remember that "the new people following the old ways" do try to remain respectful of the traditions of their neighbors & kin (hard sometimes, i know, in the face of oppressions that seem to have been going on for centuries, & the often absurd premises of their belief systems...)

 

Thanks, ForestNymphe, for your suggestion, I'll keep that in mind!

bandit... I understand where your friend is coming from but not everyone is that gullible... and I don't think you're closed minded at all... I'd like to think that even if I had originally started in wicca because it somehow made me fit in with a group of awkward teenagers or to rebel, that all that would wash away after 10 years of practicing it.

To be honest when I first started, I didn't know anyone who practiced wicca, so it wasn't something that I got suckered in to. For a long while I was questioning my faith in catholicism and was looking for something that better fit my ideals and way of thinking, I had gone through a lot of soul searching before I even heard of wicca. When I did, and looked into it in depth, it really spoke to me and that's why I practice it. I can honestly say I practice what I preach outside of a social circle. I didn't meet any other wiccans until after 5 or 6 years of practicing it.

 

I guess that its a common thing for parents to expect their children to grow up to be just like them. I know that in my youth my values and interests clashed terribly with those of my parents, and in fact of their whole generation.

Even now, my mother doesn't accept what are major features of my life - vegitarianism, for example.
But where the Catholic Church is concerned, perhaps your parents genuinely worry about you 'loosing your soul' or something along those lines.
In the past, the culture we live in proceeded in such a way that people could just assume their children would follow a pattern of life and belief similar to their own. Really, it was only beginning in the 1960's that this began to be challenged. Up to then, most believed 'what they were brought up to believe', and those who questioned existing 'religious' norms of society did so mainly on the grounds of aetheism/materialism. New and different faiths being available, and being a matter of choice is a relatively new phenomenom, and it will surely take some time before this becomes the accepted norm.

Love & Peace.

 

cerri .. if you c an't defen d why you are wh at you are to thos e w ho believe some thing else than I wond er why you belie ve what you believ e?

It isn't a rule of christianity but a rule of life ... you must be able to reasonably defend what you believe. Not just to yourself, but to those around you.

 

Very enjoyable post, I got a lot out of it, and it reminded me of things such as the way we have changed in three generations from being a society where people did not move away from their parents, or even grandparents, or if they did it was across town. Now it is across the continent or globe, and the family structure of three gens. ago has virtually disappeared.
I like what you mention about the new reality of facing the faiths that up till now we could smugly and without dispute, dismiss as wrong. No more. They are our neighbours, and we are now in a situation where we either respect each other or there will be strife. Respecting other faiths has never been a necessity, and was much rarer in those days, which I still hear in chats between some oldtimers, who still use the slurs and believe the stereotypes that were once overtly discussed and now are covertly exchanged between a shrinking segment of society.
I think it is great, and love the wonderful variety and vibrance such a melting pot brings.
It is now time for us all to accept that we must no longer hold the biased and misguided concepts that were once the norm, and move on to a new kind of culture.
It will happen.

 

Not to me she doesn't. I accept her choice unconditionally, and love her for it.
Why must I defend, or even discuss my spiritual beliefs with anyone?
I can if I choose, but there is no reason I can come up with why I have to have your or anyone elses blessing. You go believe your thing, and let me believe mine, and if you demand a reasonable explanation, I will decide if I feel like trying to share my very unique, personal, and strong beliefs. You have no right to know anything about it. Sorry

 

B.G. ... well who are you?

You are no one.

I owe you nothing.

My folks on the other hand. ...

 

I agree, and hope that you can all accept each other as you are, and not feel the need to defend, or explain your views. It will be great if you can just move past it, as Sera mentions. If they cannot offer acceptance, then you will have to decide if tolerance is good enough for you, and if not, then maybe you won't be able to spend as much time together until there is a change of heart.

 

Thank you for your kind words. I agree with you 100% that now we must all try to put aside the differences that divide, and seek for common understanding, and mutual respect.

Love & Peace.

 

Oh ... the usual.


Thank you for the heads up friend.

 

Exactly my point, you owe me zip, and vice versa.
If you feel you owe your folks something, then you do. I don't expect my son to owe me squat. I did not do anything for him with the expectation of some future payback.
I believe that our children may be of us, but they are not 'ours'. We don't own them, nor do they owe us anything, in my view.

 

You are not a father ... are you?!

Yes you owe your child something.

Yes your child owes you something.

But regardless of whether you owe one another, one should not adopt an unreasonable position. One should not be willing to set aside differences. Simply because one way of life may be wrong and one right.

If one can not defend what they believe than they do no justice to that which they believe. They do harm to those around them.

It is not enough to accept someone without regard of their reason. Some degree of defense is necessary. That is ... unless you are willing to accept the man who rapes your little boy.

 

It is not contradictory to me, and the reason it is the same is that I know what I believe.
I don't need your approval, and even if I got it, YOUR approval would mean very little to me anyway. There are other members here whose approval is far more comforting to me, because I have more respect for their views. Your silly accusations of my goal being to frustrate just confirm to me how self-important and arrogant you are.
What the hell should you even care what I believe? Just accept that we disagree and leave it at that. No need to make up false accusations and point fingers.
I have no problem accepting your views and have no need to belittle them or attack them, at any rate. Why do you feel the need to do so to me?

 

I would accept your beliefs with no need for an explanation, unless I felt you were acting in an evil manner, then I would respond as maturely and rationally as I could.
If you raped any little boy, never mind mine, and we were alone, I fear my reason would be overtaken by my outrage. Sadly, I have not yet learned how to forgive certain crimes, such as child abuse, and until I do, they would do well to steer clear of me.
I do you no harm by letting you believe what you feel is true. I feel that most of the harm done throughout history stems from just the opposite. People like you demanding others convince them they have a valid faith.
I will work on myself, you would be better served doing the same, rather than demanding I share my unique worldview. It is not yours anyway, and never could be, or you'd be me.

 

TROLL! Proclaims the troll...