how do i stop feeling inferior to my guy's ex?

a few weeks ago my boyfriend and i were in the car talking, and he said something like "jen and i had more in common than we do, but i love you more because you didn't screw me over". this upset me more than it probably should have because i am a sensitive person. it has been stuck in my mind for weeks. and now his ex wants to meet me. how do i stop letting her get to me?

 

well he is now with you and not her, that should tell you some thing And if you dont want to meet her then dont !

 

take a break...be ur self..

 

Have sex with her then everything will definately work out.

 

I feel very inferior to my boyfriends ex. It is a horrible, horrible feeling. They dated for almost 2 years and I cant help but obsess about their relationship. I don't want to be a psycho control freak so I would never ever tell my bf that they cant see each other but that is certainly the way I would prefer it. Often, when I find myself worrying about it I have to remind myself that my bf is with me now and that they broke up for a reason!

When you start to have negative thoughts just remind yourself that you are the perfect person for your boyfriend right now and that you guys are together right now in the present.

Good Luck! Keep your head up!

 

This happens to me all the time, the topic of an ex will come up and the gf, and she'll feel inferior but I just assure her that the past is the past and they're exes for a reason, it doesn't really matter what happened in the past, just that me and her are together NOW, cause I could feel inferior to her exes too but wheres the fun in that, lifes too short for worryin bout that shit. If ya start worryin about the past you'll miss out on enjoyin the present....

 

That was a pretty dickhead thing to say on his part, honestly.

Just be good to him and it'll sort out; though a hummer or two probably wouldn't hurt.

 

you should screw him over too. then let him decide who he loves more

 

With the exception of if you have a kid with an ex, the ex's should almost never come up in conversation.

If they do, especially as a regular occurence (either in a positive or negative manner), chances are they have not let go of their feelings for their ex enough yet to have any type of meaningful relationship with anyone else.

The best solution is to talk to him (not accuse him) about it and tell him your feelings.

If he reacts badly to it, it is time for you to move on. If he tries to understand your point of view and stops putting you in that position, then he may have been being honest about loving you more and you can move forward together.

To those who say they also have this problem and they just swallow and ignore it... they are just setting themself up for huge heartbreak.

 

not this

 

Get a better boyfriend.
Who says something like that? He loves you cause you didn't screw him over? That's not love, that's a feeling of security.
If you're a sensitive person, you probably shouldn't be dating someone so utterly insensitive.

You shouldn't personalize remarks like that though. What he said indicates how he feels about her, how he feels about you, and what kind of a person he is. It says absolutely nothing about who you truly are.

 

Talk should always be the first step duck. It is more then possible, he just never considered the effects of his words.

If after talking about the issue, he keeps the same attitude then I totally agree...

 

ask him to list the common characters between his ex and him, and see whether you still want to keep him.

 

lol. You're being a total doormat. Anyone with a modicum of self-respect would have dropped him on the spot.

But then again...that's probably why you're with him, in the first place.

 

The other thing is, if this girl truly dicked him over...What is he doing still hanging around her?

He's obviously trying to fuck you both in the same bed, at the same time. And then get up and say, "Peace!" Never to be seen again...:biggrin:

 

My ex was a bit of a twat and would say things like this to me, like how his ex would have like his choice of restaurant. So yeah, we had a chat about that I told him that he needed to decide whether he wanted to date me, or another version of his ex.

It's best to talk to him and get things out in the open. And there is no reason you should feel you have to meet her if you don't want to.

 

But that's the thing - he completely didn't consider her feelings. She's sensitive. Bad combination.

 

So, you suggest she runs away from her relationship without talking to him about it?

Down that path lay many short and unhappy relationships.

 

Better than long and unhappy relationships.

I'm saying that you can make some things fit - but you can't just jam anything together.

 

So you view talking about issues in a relationship with your partner to somehow 'jamming' things together?

At no point in time did I tell her to keep him, or dump him, I told her to talk to him and come to a decision based on that.

The fact that you would argue with this is mind boggling.