Bisexual Frustration

Yep, me too, so you're not the only one is in this difficult situation!!

 

I am not really turned on by gay male porn, I'm much more turned on watching a man on top of a girl, especially if it's a really muscular man on top of a sweet pretty girl! I get turned on both ways as the man or the woman!!

totally confusing!!

 

That's definitely a difference from me. I get turned on by all gay, lesbian and straight porn. But I LOVE bi porn, lol.

 

ok... I found this site looking for a forum to discuss bisexual issues... so I will share.

* I am married. My second marriage, have 2 great boys. I love my wife, will never compromise that love. Notice I didn't use the PC word "commitment" or religious "covenant" , more on that in a minute.

* when I met my current wife I told her up front that I had played (moderately, as in more than 1 experimental phase) with men. She was ok... a little confused. Took her a month or so to decide she could deal with that.

* she & I have an understanding. We don't discuss it. She trusts my judgment & my sense of safety. On the flip side, I rarely "play" as I am picky.

* the urges never leave, the just "chill" but some times they "flare up"... think of them as having a bad rash... lol

* I am 100% equally attracted to men & women SEXUALLY. I couldn't/wouldn't have a full time relationship with a man. Especially with kids involved. & its not for the PC reasons. Its the outside world acting upon me that thwarts any option. Well that & I am so in love & lust with my wife I could never leave her.. EVER.

* What I do in my bedroom (ok... fine every room in the house, the backyard, the car, the adult theater, the video booth, national park, restroom... I think I am sharing too much with you folks)... is MY business. not the school district, the local constable, the sheriff, or the nosey neighbor. Fuck them... my neighbor literally, in broad day light. shits in her garden, thinks its good fertilizer.. seriously... who is she to judge what I put in my mouth or ass or someone else's?

* another thought... I am totally ok & actually into having sex or going down on my wife when she is on her period.. so what... I don't wear a special set of "red wings" on my suit when I go to work... the whole rainbow/triangle is great for activists, but for the majority of people, we just want to do our think. Yeah I get off on some people's crazy kinks, so does my wife, but its not grounds for a parade, sticker, arm band, or logo... unless you have an agenda to support... then get an arm band & you go Gurl!

* its about balance... choose what is important to you & makes you happy. If an occasional cock trips your trigger & you are honest with your partner, so be it. I have had at least 1 family member @ every gathering or a fellow employee @ a company function hit on me or question if I was bisexual. Its a confidence/ease with other men (in my case) that registers with people. Own what you are attracted too. If the secretary in the motor-pool has a bra you love for yourself, than own it... or go for the tits in the bra if you are so inclined.

* My wife & I have discussed this at length. The concept is not about fidelity, monogamy, or faithfully completing spoken words (aka vows/pledges/covenants) its about communication & trust. She's a devout Catholic & I am a proud practicing heathen.

* I reject the common fallacies of media/religion/convention. My wife is not a shemale, trans-sexual (F-m), nor a hermaphrodite, therefore there is a part of my own sexual make up she cannot fulfill. Even if she straps-on a cock (which I am working on her to do...) we still are not @ the same place. Its no different than the guys @ the bar for the game , the gals out for the night for the bachlorette party, or the Avon or Pure Pleasure house parties.. its just different. not bad, not compromising anyone... it just IS.

* In the current PC climate it is actually HARDER for a woman to be straight than claim to be or be bisexual. The porn industry, the media, the hype... if you ain't into kitty, you are a scruffy alley cat... sorry truth hurts.

* on the flips side: if a guy even indicates a penchant, interest, or <gasp> desire for cock, he is automatically GAY GAY GAY... listen to Playboyradio on XM/Sirius, read most of the diatribe on this & other forums about MALE bisexuality... Public opinion is that men that are into other men are either gay-for-pay, they are doing it to get the gurl or hiding in the closet, whatever... is there something inherently wrong with a guy liking pussy & cock? Since they both have an ass, the anal thing is NOT the argument. its a stigma.

* Porn: this is probably my biggest beef/chuckle @ the same time. Any girl-girl porn, no matter the size, color, endowment, or attractiveness of the woman, is popular. However if you do find REAL bisexual MM or MMF porn... the guys are skinny, freshman/sophmore Twinks. All the great, sexy guys either do full on GAY porn or don't...

* Porn: there is a reality in Man-on-Man sex... if the guy getting fucked is not staying hard, he really isn't into the sex... Ever see a woman, on the verge of an orgasm getting fucked & not have hard nipples &/or clit? its all erectile tissue. Gurl-on-gurl porn doesn't have to worry about "tell-tale signs".... guys have it or they don't... not a criticism, just reality...

For me, @ 42 years old. I told those that needed to know 11 years ago. Fuck the rest. If someone "needs to know" I will make that call & bring them into my fold.

Ok... thanks for letting me get that out...

 

i think its more normal for woman to come out as bi-sexual than men, for some reason. But for guys its much harder because people would view them as being gay which is totally different. i am not out as bi because i am afraid of discriminations and things like that only really good girlfriends knows this. but other than that i keep it a secret and i dont see my self coming out because its going to be to hard.

 

@ open2options:

I can appreciate what you've written. Although I haven't acted on (yet) my feelings towards men, I definitely feel the urges to do so ebb and flow. I just haven't come across the "right" situation yet. I did have some conversations with someone that I did feel somewhat comfortable and unpressured with and I have been considering contacting him again. You're right though, the urges never go away...

 

I agree with you mate. I think people underestimate how difficult it is. I don't see or anticipate a time when I would come out to people. There are just so many factors which make it difficult and as you mentioned, the discrimination which follows.

I wish you good luck fella, and let us know how you're doin.