In Love with My Best Friend... What should I do?

Hello All! Thank you in advance for reading and responding! It means a lot!

Just some quick Background info:
I am a 20-year-old male and she is 20 as well. We are both sophomores at the same college and we met each other in September in a class we had together.
Now we are best friends. There is nothing we do not talk about and we have quite a lot in common very often we find ourselves saying we are the boy and girl versions of each other.

Since the onset of our relationship I have found her attractive she is quite the beautiful girl and over time I have come to love everything about her from her personality to her quirks to her whatever... With that love of friendship I also developed romantic feelings for her.

She got a boyfriend almost a week or two after we first became friends and at that point my feelings were nowhere near as strong as they are now for her. Yes, I was jealous and sometimes devastated most especially when she would confide in me that he could be “the one”. Well that relationship came and gone. Towards the end of the relationship I thought I was on the right path to get over her. I was more accepting of her and her boyfriend and that I was just a friend nothing more and it still remained for some time after they broke up.

However, recently she has been boy crazy and seeking my advice on random hook-ups (which is something I have never even consider doing personally) and possible boyfriends. Well… that has been bringing back the romantic feelings I had for her. I have been trying to stay as neutral as possible, which normally is very easy for me I was reared to act morally and with integrity and eloquence. And I want to be there for her and give her advice because I do love her as a friend with all my heart but while and after I am giving her the advice I die inside. It has been exponentially getting worse. Last night it took me forever to fall asleep felling so awful about the situation I am in. Today I cried numerous times trying to just sort it all out. I am so lost right now.

A few times she has said that since we are best friends nothing can come of our relationship for fear it might be damaged or worse. Which is also a great concern of mine. I am always considered the best friend never anything more. I try to accept it but after a while it hurts. I have never been involved with anyone romantically. I am certainly not the most attractive guy in the world but it would be nice for someone to care for me romantically for once.

I am not sure what to do. Do I tell her how I feel? What are the possible consequences? Do I try to get over her and How? Which has been my approach but I have not gotten very far with it yet. I mean how do you get over loving someone romantically when they are your best friend? How does one separate the feelings?

Any words of wisdom would help!
Thank You,
-M

 

yeah, man you fucking tell her how you feel and give her some time to think on it... dont just expect and answer in a new york minute. and i've never done the transition from friend to boyfriend, but i know girls like romance.... so then you've gotta take her out, woo her, be flirty, make her feel.

and then i'm pretty sure the key to it all is that you don't act weird when it comes time to do all the friendy things. but then dont be too friendy to tell her you wana eat her pussy and fuck her brains out.

and if you've never had a girlfriend then you might not know that you gotta surprise a girl every once in a while to remind her. just like "BAM, i got you a pinata filled with you favorite candy!" or "surprise! we're going to a concert tonight... here's some whiskey!"


so yeah, i doubt you have 0% chance. so give it a shot. and remember that it doesn't all hinge on one date.

and dating is kinda old-fashioned... so if she's not that kinda girl you two should hook-up a few times before its "official" and it might not ever be official but at least then you will have fucked.

 

stick it in her butt?

 

Tell her how you feel, either she will feel the same way and you will get together, or she will crush you and you'll feel dead inside. Her telling you that a relationship will ruin what you have is BS, I get the feeling that she just doesn't have those types of feelings for you if she's saying that. You want your partner to be your best friend, and it sounds like you two are good friends already.

So just tell her, worst case scenario she tells you that she doesn't have those feelings for you, and if that happens then you can just begin the process of putting yourself back together emotionally.

 

Plant tiny cameras all over her room, tap her phone, hack her computer and read her emails, give her a necelece that actuly has a tracking device and an audio recorder, pay a guy to try and rape her in an ally, then you can run in and save her, engage in intercorse with any fish she might have, tell her you will always love her and if she doesn't love you, you'll kill yourself, next time you see her, give her nose a big ol lick, and the piniata thing was a good idea, but I'd be better to bring her a live deer every few days and you guys could take turns beating it with baseball bats, also flowers are nice.

May peace be upon you brother

 

I didn't even bother to read through your whole post. Anyone with experience knows that you are DEEP in the FRIEND ZONE, and stand practically no chance at getting out at this point. The fact that she talks to you about other guys means you might as well be gay in her eyes. You can cut off your dick and put it in a jar on the shelf cause that's where she has it figuratively.

Don't listen to these morons telling you to tell her how you really feel unless you just like being rejected. So how do you turn this around??

Well, you don't have a lot of options. The best option would be for you both to get pissed drunk and have sex. The key being she has to be drunk enough that she doesn't care about you being her friend at that point. Then, when you two wake up and she remembers how good she felt with you... then maybe... MAYBE you have a shot.

 

yeah man be straight up, tell here she rocks ur world, if she looks at u funny you can always laugh it off, there are many phrases that can be used, most are crude so ill pass this time enjoy ur day peace

 

There is one of several ways this could go: (btw, been there, done this)

You could stay her friend and wait for her to "simmer down" - that way you are there for her as a friend each time she gets dumped or cheated on or just gets mad with her current passing fling. Then after a while she is ready for what some call a "stable" relationship, and you are the logical choice. This would work if you think you are serious about having a real long term relationship with her.

You could come right out now and demand a piece of the action. She may laugh and you will be shocked to find that she views you as her fall back friend, someone she is counting on for support but never once did it EVER cross her mind to sleep with you. This kind of truth can hurt.

Or you demand a piece of the action, get it and become one of a long line of ex-partners, soiling your friendship. Rarely is it ever the same after that...

Over my years I have come to question if long term relationships are right or workable for me, but not so jaded as to think they would not work for others. If I was in this position (again) I would go for keeping the friend and getting my rocks off elsewhere. Then you both keep a friend...

Oh, there is one other outcome: you go and get some elsewhere, and you find that she is (while avidly sleeping around hersleft) not mad that you did not wait for here. That would simply be unfair, and if that happens, I'd move along wholesale.

 

Its a personal choice of course -
If you tell of your feelings, and there is a positive response then it will have been worth it
If there is is a negative one, then this could be the end of a good (friendship) relationship
The gamble of losing everything for MAY be a short term something, does have to be weighed up, and upon reflection, something may well be considered as better than nothing (?)
Though if you do not explore the possibility, You'll never know

 

You gotta tell her, but don't over do it.

I think she might know anyway.

Don't wait too long and let your feelings grow...

or it's a hard long fall if she doesn't fell the same way.

Plus, you can get over it and move on if it's no...

but if it's yes?!!!

Woo Hoo!

 

Agree with Psy to tell her but not over-do it. Tell her she rocks your world and that you like everything little thing about her such as....

Be confident - you seem like a mature 20 y.o. and remain the solid friend she knows while saying it. This is not easy but is possible. don't forget to breath! LOL

You already know the possible outcomes but sometimes you need to take a chance in life and in love. If it doesn't work out, at least you will be able to start moving on.

It might just work as well. Remember though, although I do think she must have a hint that you're feeling this way, she might not have actually considered the possibilities and might need some time to digest this and picture it in her mind. While that happens, do your best to remain the same friend - akwardness will not help. Again this is not easy but I'm sure you can do it.
The best of luck and let us know how it goes!
Dx

 

There is no best friend between male and female. It is just another form of bf and gf.

 

I consider my husband to be my best friend -- and he is my true love -- and we are very sexually compatible (oh yes indeed!) -- so I certainly believe there is no inherent problem in being both friends and lovers. My advice to you would be -- at some point when she is not in a romantic/sexual relationship with another guy -- for you to tell her how you feel about her and to ask if you and she could try having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. If that works, then your prayers are answered and your dreams come true -- however, be well aware that if things do not work out, breaking up could be painful and you will most likely lose her friendship.