First of all, thanks for taking the time to read this, it means alot. So the situation is, I have a 66 year old stubborn-irish father who has a large beer belly. The rest of his body is normal, hes quite tiny, like a wee lepercon of some sort but with a bell. When i say hes stubborn, I mean he doesn't have a doctor, he insists hes fine when I can tell he isn't. I don't know what to do. My mother just recently told me he told her that he has a blood clot near his heart and might get sugery. Might? He doesn't want me to know, and he brought me up alone... and he tells my mother, a woman hes been divorced with for about 10 years. Hes been feeling ill lately, and i've been trying to feed him healthy choices, the problem aswell is I go away for University and leave him alone to fend for himself ( I know he loves Mcdonalds ._. ) Hes sick. I know he is. He mentions his will all the time like hes on his way out, and he jokes about dying. Its starting to truely scare me. Tonight, he just woke up from acid indigestion and started choking, you guys can bet how THAT made me feel. Scared shitless. If any of you have any advice what I can do or say to my stubborn yet loving Dad, please feel free and it will be greatly appreciated. No girl wants to walk down the isle alone on her wedding... thats not even existing yet because, well, I'm only 19. thanks
my dad was fine til he started going to the doctors... WTF!! now hes dead, he didnt start going to dr til he was 65 or so, then all the sudden they say you have diabetes, cant eat this cant eat that shit.. have to take a shot ... later they said you have a spot on your lungs and need chemo.. did that and went straight down hill... it took a year for the cancer to eat him up, 220lb down to 130lb, I could lift him right up.. he died in his home where he wanted to die, not in some hospital bed.. imo doctors are money hungry, see and aging man and want to get all that they can from them.. if you truly love your dad you will respect his choices and let him live his life the way he wants to.. you wouldnt be here if he didnt live like he wanted to... maybe if he listened to others you would be in a reservoir tip floating down the toilet.... nobody wants to lose loved ones, and I understand where your coming from.. in the long run you can not prevent the inevitable, should he live to 110, he will still die some day, you must except that.. wish you my best.. :cheers2:
thank you for replying! you are absolutely right about the doctors are money hungry thing. dad fears surgery because once they open him up it'll just spread and he'll die. I don't blame him at all. He needs to stop joking about being tits up soon, because whether i let him live his life or not, i'll be worrying from his whitty stubborn comments. thanks again
I'm a father with health issues and two daughters, and I'll bet your dad only makes light of his death because, when the time comes, he wants it to go as easy on you as possible. So here's my advice: Show him your post.
This is sound advise, sorry to hear about your dads heath problems. My mom died 2 years ago and its been real tough on my dad. His heath is declining now and he also jokes about not making long term plans and such. I think its a way of coping and trying to prepare you for the inevitable. Very nice of you to try and help him and watch his diet, but like Orison said you have to respect his choices be they good or bad. I am also very suspicious of doctors, seems like when elderly people go to doctors often its seems like their heath declines rapidly after that. Who knows, not going to a doctor may prolong his life a little. The only thing I can tell you for sure is try to spend as much time with him as you can, I know it sounds corny, but I cherish the time spent with my mom and only wish I could of had more, but you play the cards your dealt. Best of luck.
As terrifying and as difficult as it will be you should really speak to your dad about how you are feeling about this and if you feel you can't, then speak to your mother. In the end it is your dads choice on what he wants to do but there seems to be an awful lot of speculation going on here about what is wrong with your dad, about what he plans to do about it, about what can be done about it and what should be done about it. Talk to him..... even if what he tells you is not what you want to hear... you will at least not be left with the regret of not having dealt with the issue and the emotions. Some things are too important to ignore and you need to know for your own sake what is going on as well as for his *Hugs*
