a positive story about being turned down, lol

So I'm been on and off dealing with a crush on the same guy for several years. There would be times that I only thought of him in strictly platonic terms (conveniently enough when he, or myself, or both of us were dating other people), and times when my feelings for him changed. It always cyclically came back to me liking him, though...both physically and otherwise.

I was afraid to tell him for the longest time, but I decided that this crush was unhealthy, and it was causing me anxiety. For various reasons, I knew that the crush was only me idealizing him and entertaining a fantasy that I knew logically that in reality us dating wouldn't turn out the best. He's a busy musician, tours quite frequently, is always running all over the place. I'm fixing to go back to college full time. We are barely able to hang out more than twice a month as it is, dating would be difficult at best. I honestly wanted him to not be interested in me (as nice as the fantasy sounded) because I value the friendship more than any possible romantic or sexual possibility. I worried that if he did reciprocate (he's dropped more comments that are compliments on my looks lately too), it could complicate a friendship that I am not willing to give up.

I've also lost a lot of weight, which you'd think would make me want to be seen naked but honestly I'm super self conscious about the stretchmarks, some extra skin on the parts of my body that I carried the most fat, etc. I know that sounds silly, but being seen naked right now terrifies me. I get more attention from males these days because I know I'm much healthier looking and more attractive than I was (I'd be happier to lose 20 more lbs. lol), but I'm worried to take those clothes off just yet. I'm still young so I know with some muscle building and persistence with the healthy lifestyle my skin will shrink up, but it may take a couple of years. Yeah, that's kind of vain, but I'm disheartened by the damage the weight did to my body, and the skin on certain parts is just not so pretty. So in that sense, I'm relieved that I have no possibility of being seen naked by him (he's really pretty and in good shape, as well as just being awesome).

Anyway, I finally got the courage to talk to him, to express how I felt, but to let him know that more than anything I cared about his comfort level and would just like to know how he honestly feels. He said he has a lot of warm feelings and a deep respect for me, but that they are strictly platonic feelings. He also indicated that even if he were feeling more than platonic, he'd also be worried about complicating a relationship that's already perfect the way it is, or the situation being unhealthy.

Long story short, I have a great friend, and I can finally close the door on the crush and move on. I find when I have a crush on someone and the person lets me know they don't reciprocate, my interest in them starts to fade almost immediately. It's like my mind snaps out of fantasyland and embraces the reality. Also, I'm going to have a much easier time leaving this town because I won't always wonder what could have been with me and him...sappy as that sounds.

Edit: I'll acknowledge that it's much easier to get over a crush on someone you've never dated than to get over someone you've actually loved and been with for a long time. It took me a couple of years to stop being "in love" with the guy I was in my last serious relationship with. I've also heard some people say it's sometimes easier to think you're falling for someone you either haven't been with, or have a less likely chance of being with, than to keep on loving the person you've been serious with (especially living with them) for a long time. An untested/hypothetical relationship often seems more appealing than what you already have...