I just started dating a great girl. She's smart, funny, beautiful, and she makes me feel young. Alive. The thing is we're 9 years apart.. she's 17 and I am 26. Is this socially acceptable? I'm not after sex. In fact.. even when I'm dating someone much closer to my age my motivation is almost never sex. Honestly I am a little scared of our age difference. I dont know how other people might respond to it. Has anyone been smitten by a much younger person before? If so I could use some advice on quieting other people's opinions.
I've never been in a relationship where there WASN'T at least some level of age gap. My first actual LOVE was 16 when I was 21. People were fine with the idea of our going out. My last relationship was an online one, and I'll just say she was very young. But she was very mature. You're not after sex, which I'm sure your girlfriend understands. Next year she'll be 18 anyway. Prove to the world age means little when two people connect to each other on a deep level. All the best.
I think thats fine, and forget what others think if they think negatively about it. You know yourself and your thoughts. You say you really like her and sex is NOT the only thing you're going for, then its fine. You mightve found your match I never dated guys my age, I cant connect with them on a mature level like I can with older guys. hell my last boyfriend was 26 and i was 18 and we had a really good relationship.
I've got a 17 year old girlfriend dating a guy almost, if not the same age as you, and i think it's fine. They're really happy together, and work better together than most couples of any age, so i guess it all just depends on how well it works.
I think age means nothing. What matters is your compatability. Im 40 years old , when i was 37 i was dating a 21 year old girl . She was AWESOME ! soo cool and fun . i was really happy to be with her .. then i dated a 53 year old .. ( yeah i went the other way ) again it was awesome ! if i let age deter me i wouldnt have had those experiences . Remember 50 to 100 years ago it was common for a man to be at least 15 to 20 years older than a woman ... its only recently that its become PC to date within your age group.. Dont let dogma get in the way of true feelings !
Honestly the only problems with dating someone who is older or younger than you are the ones that you make for yourselves. If you both see no problems with it and you are really happy with her than there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. As long as she is legal than you have nothing to worry about in the larger sense. A few problems that could arise may be with her parents. But as soon as they meet you and realize you're not "out to corrupt their innocent lil angel" I'm sure those problems will subside. My boyfriend is 17 years older than me and honestly we have no problems with that. My parents absolutely love him, sure there were a few raised eyebrows when they first found out his age but then they met and it just went so well because they could see that he's a decent guy who absolutely adores me. Best wishes to you guys! ~Abby
I don't know... Thats kinda steep. It is true that if your a good match then your a good match and it all depends on the two of you. I don't think it would be the age difference that would worry people, it would just be the fact the she is under 18.
No, that is not "socially acceptable." Most people will have a problem (especially her parents, I bet). It is up to you two though...I would wait until she was eighteen.
The only thing that jumps out at me about the age difference is that at 17 years old, one still has a lot of room to develop their identity and that can mean big changes in personality and attitude. I mean, you aren't quite the same person you were at 17 as you now are at 26? I was 17 when I went off to college and now at 23, I realize how differently I view myself and my position in romantic relationships, and even with strangers on the street. As for the social acceptability of your situation, who cares? Just don't piss off her parents until she's actually 18 and legally an adult...
Live your life the way you want to live it. Be secure enough in what you do that their words won't affect you. Because their opinions have no material meaning in your life beyond what you let it have. People will judge you, not everyone will, there will be some who will not agree with your relationship. You'll never quite know who it is that doesn't approve, but it shouldn't matter. If you're going to live with uncertaintly you mine as well persue what you beleive in deeply. If it's not something you beleive in deeply (dating someone with an obvious age gap) then don't. There will be other woman who set you free and make you feel young again. Or there won't be, this could be it. What do you feel? Do you really like her? .....Are you sure?........ Then be with her.
I think at any age when you have the feeling to be with someone weather it be 13 years old or 21 years old the fact remains your hormones and testosterone are pushing you towards it .. In this case you have an older guy dating a 17 year old girl. If we let whats politically Correct get in the way then what happens ? .. shes going to meet someone else sooner or later.... Who knows what she will end up with... I think that this guy has his heart in the right place , he loves her and i think will treat her like a lady. What better time to have a great loving experience of what relationships can be .. Too many times we meet someone thats cruel and give trust to someone that takes advantage ... this is the last thing you need when you are young. Having a good experience is important so Luciola , your responsability is to be good to her , treat her like a lady , make each other happy ... you may only be together for a few years but at least make them good ones. then in the future you may come back together and marry ... who knows .. I dated a 16 year old girl when i was 29 .. I had no idea she was that young , she lied to me and said she was 19 ... i dint really care when i found out .. mind you we had been going out to clubs and bars .. she could have landed me in a lot of shit lol .. But man we fell desperately in love and stayed together for 2 years .. Her parents hated me with a passion .. when they knew my age ... but after a while they noticed her coming home all happy , getting along with them .. helping around the house , cleaning her room .. after a while they saw i was a positive influence on her ... They then loved me big time. they saw i was for real then when she turned 18 she wanted to go travel the world with her friends .. I was sad buy happy to let her go and enjoy her world .. she wrote me so many letters of how much i influenced her positively , how she remembered my values in relationship .. how that helped her become strong and indipendant and not accept anything less than what her heart wanted. This could have gone wrong but it didnt , because the 2 people involved did the right thing and had an awesome life experience. Dont let anyone influence you the wrong way when you know in your heart you are a good man doing the right thing. E
Once she's at legal age (whatever it is where you're living), it doesn't matter much what people think.
I've never dated guys my age(always older). I feel, as long as your not after sex ( which in my oppinion waiting can only help any relationship) then all is well. I have a friend in a similar position but she's waiting untill she's 18 to make a move just to be safe.
The dangers are only two. 1.) the law, which apparently doesn't apply to you, if you are being honest. In a few months she'll be legal. But sex will have to come into the picture, if you are headed for a long term relationship. 2.) girls are pretty emotionally mature at 17/18 - much more so than boys (just read the entries in these forums from the boys!) But as she grows older (up?), who can say if she'll still find you attractive. That is a danger, no way to prepare for it. Stand by for a bye. Or not.
True , women mature more quickly because of estrogen and other hormones that are prevelant from about 4 to 18 , it helps develop the brain quicker.. Men on the other hand from 13 to 21 have to contend with testosterone .. this actually causes brain damage .. this has been proven clinically ..
My gf is 16 and I'm 23 so thats like 7 years, yeah people talk but those aint the kind of people I'd want as friends, if they can't see how happy I am with her, fuck em'... 7 months goin and my longest relationship to date!
No it's not socially acceptable... Although I myself am 17 and find myself attracted to way older guys. And vis versa. But I'm 18 in two weeks so this'll change everything.
Check you state laws. If the age of consent is 18 in your state, and she is 17 and you are 26, it may be statutory rape.
